This is probably a stupid question, but I'm going to ask it anyhow.
My MOH lives in Florida and is coming down in August. She wants to throw me a bridal shower so we are going to do one then. I am also having another bridal shower closer to the wedding date (12/17/10) that one of my maids (a cousin) is supposed to throw for me. My MOH has asked for a list of names for the shower invitations. The shower that she is throwing is going to be a long distance (3 hrs +) car ride for most of my family. I think it would be a good idea to have this shower be for the local people (basically my FMIL and FSIL (also a bridesmaid), MOH, her parents, and some women from my mother's work who insist on me having a shower they can attend though I don't know them) then have the other shower thrown at a latter date be for the rest of my family (it would be held in a place that is within easy travel distance).
My question is this: Do I have to give my MOH the name of all of the women who will be invited to the wedding or can I be selective and just give her all of the bridesmaids, my FMIL, and mother's friends and then leave the other people to be invited to the other shower. I do not want to invite everyone and have them think that they have to travel far for an extremely early shower. Most of them wouldn't be able to make it. Also, while I am not expecting gifts of any kind, I know it is tradition to give a shower gift and I do not want them to feel like they have to provide a gift that one shower, then another gift for another shower. On the other hand, if for some reason my cousin doesn't throw the shower, I do not want to offend anyone by not inviting them.
Any help would be appreciated. I'm confused on what is the correct or right thing to do.