Pre-wedding Parties

Who to invite when having 2 bridal showers?

This is probably a stupid question, but I'm going to ask it anyhow.

My MOH lives in Florida and is coming down in August. She wants to throw me a bridal shower so we are going to do one then. I am also having another bridal shower closer to the wedding date (12/17/10) that one of my maids (a cousin) is supposed to throw for me. My MOH has asked for a list of names for the shower invitations. The shower that she is throwing is going to be a long distance (3 hrs +) car ride for most of my family. I think it would be a good idea to have this shower be for the local people (basically my FMIL and FSIL (also a bridesmaid), MOH, her parents, and some women from my mother's work who insist on me having a shower they can attend though I don't know them) then have the other shower thrown at a latter date be for the rest of my family (it would be held in a place that is within easy travel distance).

My question is this: Do I have to give my MOH the name of all of the women who will be invited to the wedding or can I be selective and just give her all of the bridesmaids, my FMIL, and mother's friends and then leave the other people to be invited to the other shower. I do not want to invite everyone and have them think that they have to travel far for an extremely early shower. Most of them wouldn't be able to make it. Also, while I am not expecting gifts of any kind, I know it is tradition to give a shower gift and I do not want them to feel like they have to provide a gift that one shower, then another gift for another shower. On the other hand, if for some reason my cousin doesn't throw the shower, I do not want to offend anyone by not inviting them.

Any help would be appreciated. I'm confused on what is the correct or right thing to do.

Re: Who to invite when having 2 bridal showers?

  • edited December 2011
    I have had/will have three showers, one on both sides of the family and a work one.  Mine are in the same local area though. I divided up family and friends and that helped with one shower not being so large.  Four of my friends I work with (one is a BM who threw my work shower) came to the work shower and are coming to my other shower just to meet more of my family and celebrate!  But, I am not going to have them bring a gift to that one.  Otherwise, everyone was just invited to one shower.  (My mom is coming to both family ones b.c. she wants too and I think my sister in law (brother's wife) is coming to both b.c. she wants to.)  Fiance's family was invited to both family ones but live out of town and didn't make the first one. They hope to make the second one. 
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You SHOULD be selective. MOB, MOG, grandmothers, sisters of the bride and groom get courtesy invites to all showers. They get to pick and choose which showers they would like to attend.Other than that, the guests lists should not overlap. Add in very close friends and family members from that area. There is no rule that says every female wedding guest must be invited to a shower.
     IMO, the best showers are small, 30 people or less, events.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks so much! Yall helped a lot. I never realized it would be the simple things such as a guest list for a bridal shower that would get me stumped.
  • miah_23_ncbmiah_23_ncb member
    edited December 2011
    i agree w/ mair poppy pick who you want but dont event ppl to both
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