Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"

Manwaithiel · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:56b22941-21bb-427f-bffc-70b4f11f12b5">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : I feel like you didn't read like 98% of the responses in this thread.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

Salt, I was talking about one post. I think it was by Nugget. I never said "most of you said, *insert topic here*". Maybe I should have quoted it. My bad.

Manwaithiel · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:bdd22e41-a888-47b1-9296-0b56d3d71378">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Then she shouldn't go. Look, you've obviously got some BMs who want to go out and have an adult celebration. Maybe the bride would like to do the same thing. Even if she can't drink, maybe she wants to go out dancing or something. If I was 17, I would completely understand why I couldn't attend a grown-up B-party. Maybe the bride can go have dinner with her, or they can go get their nails done or something to make her feel included without making everyone else feel like they're babysitting or stuck in a Sweet Valley High novel. It kind of sounds like you are the only one who doesn't think this is okay, and since you're NOT the bride, you need to stop and consider if you're trying to force your own ideas and issues on a bunch of folks who really don't want to hear it.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

This one.

L-Bride · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:159d81df-565f-4fb0-be1e-cc2f050100d0">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Nice. I'm glad that you're implying my sister would not be a reasonable and understanding girl. She is in fact a very reasonable person who might not mind either way, but I don't want her excluded from pre-wedding activities. If I want to go out bar-hopping, I'll do it with my friends who can drink and I won't be calling it a bach party. I think that's pretty reasonable as well.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

I implied that your sister isn't reasonable? I was explaining my sister's personality and sharing why my sister understood.
I wore the stupid little veil and went out without my sister and ::gasp:: called it a bach party. Scandalous.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:159d81df-565f-4fb0-be1e-cc2f050100d0">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Nice. <strong>I'm glad that you're implying my sister would not be a reasonable and understanding girl.</strong> She is in fact a very reasonable person who might not mind either way, but I don't want her excluded from pre-wedding activities. If I want to go out bar-hopping, I'll do it with my friends who can drink and I won't be calling it a bach party. I think that's pretty reasonable as well.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

I really don't think she was trying to imply that. Just saying its not necessary to plan a B-party solely on the BMs age. I was 17 when I was in my aunts wedding and wouldn't have been offended if I wasn't able to go to any of the events. I wasn't old enough to drink. But instead my other aunts in the WP brought me into the bars and nobody questioned my age apparently because I was with older ladies. But regardless, I don't think she was implying anything about your sister's character. Many brides look forward to bar-hopping for that b-party. I know I did. I had a pregnant BM, she didn't ask us to change our plans so she could drink.

salt78 · November 2010

I just remembered something...wasn't this the same bride that wanted some kind of Marie Antoinette themed shower? I remember Liberty posting about this trainwreck before.

ETA: My Knot rememory rules.

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-ideas-3

Manwaithiel · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:fff3bb79-1fb1-4f8a-9673-4cbb9b82052c">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : I implied that your sister isn't reasonable? I was explaining my sister's personality and sharing why my sister understood. I wore the stupid little veil and went out without my sister and ::gasp:: called it a bach party. Scandalous.
Posted by L-Bride[/QUOTE]

Well it came across that way. I'm glad it worked out for you. I don't think it's a good idea, I was just voicing my opinion on the matter. I didn't say it was scandalous. I just don't think it's very nice.

Liberty27 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:f1f42a88-b33f-42af-871f-93d3e5824d67">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]I just remembered something...wasn't this the same bride that wanted some kind of Marie Antoinette themed shower? I remember Liberty posting about this trainwreck before.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes. And despite all the advice about how terrible of an idea it was, it went of wonderfully and the bride loved it. Oh, Dani, I should thank you for the champagne jell-o recipe. It was a hit.</div>

Simply Fated · November 2010

Maybe you could put the hotel room under one of their names, instead? This way it won't fall on your hands if there is a legal issue with the underage girls being there for the stripper and alcohol?
Morals aside, you could get in a lot of trouble, depending on your local laws, if something happens.

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:21fe96c8-fa7b-45e3-aad8-cdadb6441585">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : I know. There were a couple though who voiced that having a party where you just exclude the underage girl (the 17 year old) was an option because maybe the bride wanted to have an "adult party".<strong> I guess if you think that's okay, I just think it's kind of rude to ask someone to be in your BP, knowing their underage, and then insist on having a party you know they can't participate in</strong>.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

Usually the bride has nothing to do with planning her b-party though. So while she may have asked the underage BM, the BMs planning the party didn't. Personally I think a 16 y/o should undersatnd if a b-party involves drinking or bars and they can't attend all of it. But I would want another part of it that she could attend, like a dinner or something.

Nebb · November 2010

Seriously OP why are you not answering why you cant consider other options for this party?

salt78 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:30f36c02-95ea-47cf-8c77-3b81557c278f">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Yes. And despite all the advice about how terrible of an idea it was, it went of wonderfully and the bride loved it. Oh, Dani, I should thank you for the champagne jell-o recipe. It was a hit.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm glad she enjoyed her frilly pink ballgown. </div><div>
</div>

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:30f36c02-95ea-47cf-8c77-3b81557c278f">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Yes. And despite all the advice about how terrible of an idea it was, it went of wonderfully and the bride loved it. <strong>Oh, Dani, I should thank you for the champagne jell-o recipe. It was a hit.
</strong>Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

So you served champagne jell-o at this girls shower but started a thread about how inappropriate it would be to have drinking and strippers at her bachelorette party? Holy hypocrite.

L-Bride · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:30f36c02-95ea-47cf-8c77-3b81557c278f">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Yes. And despite all the advice about how terrible of an idea it was, it went of wonderfully and the bride loved it. Oh, Dani, I should thank you for the champagne jell-o recipe. It was a hit.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

That actually sounds cool but I'm also in love with Marie Antoinette. I would love to see pics of this.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:5ddd73cb-4c0d-497f-ace6-a317c32b94fe">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : So you served champagne jell-o at this girls shower but started a thread about how inappropriate it would be to have drinking and strippers at her bachelorette party? Holy hypocrite.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

I was just coming to say this. You served alcohol to minors once, so why is it such a big deal this time?

(And yes, I know why it's a big deal, it just seems confusing to not allow it at this point.)

Manwaithiel · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:521f16af-bad8-46de-9916-87398d221dc6">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Yeah, well even though I said most brides don't plan it, I helped in mine. I asked to have different things that different people could partake in, if possible. We ended up poolside at an aunts house during the day with drinks and snacks, a really nice dinner, and then out for drinks and staying a nice hotel. My mom came to the pool part and dinner, and even my Nana came to the dinner. If all we did was the bars my mom and Nana never would have come.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

Sister just asked me some things that I would enjoy doing. I said spa stuff, dinner, etc. She is currently plotting some super secret thing that I haven't been able to divine from any of the girls (cunning tricksters...). Knowing my sister, it's going to get pretty epic.

Liberty27 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:e2faa09c-6ff3-4e23-bd93-050e6a4f7b85">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Yeah...OP, what the heck?
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

<div>Should've clarified that. Sorry. Its not like champagne jell-o shots, its is a whipped-cream and jell-o desert. There is champagne in it, but not very much. It is a cup of champagne in a 13" x 9" pan of desert. Its like beer-battered fish or Guinness pie (which is beef stew).</div>

Manwaithiel · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:770e1f30-3167-4126-a20c-4476180a2f41">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : Should've clarified that. Sorry. Its not like champagne jell-o shots, its is a whipped-cream and jell-o desert. There is champagne in it, but not very much. It is a cup of champagne in a 13" x 9" pan of desert. Its like bee-battered fish or Guinness pie (which is beef stew).
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

I guess like a Kahlua trifle or something. I get that. That's pretty different from jell-o shots like I was thinking...

Beachy730 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:34ce9e15-e268-4194-8119-92cbda073c84">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : I never said I wasn't considering other options. I am going to look into what's in the area but it is a rather small town, and I have to decide whether or not it is worth the hour and half trek into the cities to not have to deal with the potential stripper issue.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

Thanks for clarifying on the jello. I get that part now.

But as for the party, you're making it sound like the absolute only thing to do within an hour drive is to go to a hotel. Is this town where the film Psycho was filmed? JK. But I think you are looking too hard. Are there no restaurants? Or nail places? I don't think you necessarily have to take this girl out overnight for her to get away from the stress at home. I would be thrilled for a nice dinner out or nails or something like that to get my mind off of it.

sarah0725 · November 2010

How much time do you have to plan this? I thought I saw in some other thrread that your cousin was getting married in May.

kathrynhabibti · November 2010

Liberty or Dani, that dessert sounds neat, could I have the recipe please?

Liberty27 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:d55b2759-6b07-4f28-a5df-9b080852842a">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]How much time do you have to plan this? I thought I saw in some other thrread that your cousin was getting married in May.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

<div>It is in May, but we are kind of all "on-call" in case something happens with her Dad and everything gets moved up. That is why we moved the bridal shower up to October.</div>

salt78 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:f1ece50f-8e5c-44ec-b1f4-c3808fca0c3c">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" : It is in May, but we are kind of all "on-call" in case something happens with her Dad and everything gets moved up. That is why we moved the bridal shower up to October.
Posted by Liberty27[/QUOTE]

<div>So why not just have the wedding now and say screw it to the "on-call" thing?</div><div>
</div><div>Do I even want to know the answer to this?</div>

NuggetBrain · November 2010

Sooo Man, no offense, but I just can't mentally pull together a 16-year old's idea of a bachelorette party being "epic". How "epic" can you get when you might not even be able to drive a car to said party? I also do not think it's rude to not include someone who is underage in overage activities. Should I have included my 16 year old sister in my entire 21st birthday party, just because she came to the dinner before the drunken debauchery? Should I have brought my 5 year old flower girl along to barhop on my B-party just because she's walking down the aisle? It's hardly rude, it's just common sense.

Birdie1483 · November 2010

Just wanted to add my two cents. I think if you're old enough to enter a strip club, you're old enough to rent a stripper and partake in a private strip show. Therefore, I don't see anything inappropriate with a stripper being at a 19 year old's bachelorette party. Besides the fact that there will be one person under the age of 18 in attendance, I don't think you have any right to say what they can and can't do as legal adults.

I don't know what to tell you about the 17 year old and stripper. I don't know how the laws work, but I feel like the girls who rented the stripper would be liable for something that happened. And honestly the only thing I see happening would be someone calling the cops if it got too loud and them asking you guys to make the stripper leave, assuming alcohol wasn't involved.

I understand the booze thing and not wanting to be liable for underage drinking. I personally think if you're old enough to see boobs and penis, you're old enough to enjoy a beer while doing so. However, that's neither here nor there.

Personally, the only inappropriate thing I see is the 17 year old being allowed by her parents to stay the night in a hotel. If I were her mother, she wouldn't even be a factor in this equation. But that's probably because I know what I wanted to do at the age of 17...

smokeybailey · November 2010

Is this thing STILL on?

NuggetBrain · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:5071b062-8f0f-431b-8070-fa34be1fc952">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]Is this thing STILL on?
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

You can take your flame-colored locks and glorious bosoms and GIT TO STEPPIN', SMOKES.

Manwaithiel · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:735cd74d-bb1a-408b-8721-9d656d311180">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]Sooo Man, no offense, but I just can't mentally pull together a 16-year old's idea of a bachelorette party being "epic". How "epic" can you get when you might not even be able to drive a car to said party? I also do not think it's rude to not include someone who is underage in overage activities. Should I have included my 16 year old sister in my entire 21st birthday party, just because she came to the dinner before the drunken debauchery? Should I have brought my 5 year old flower girl along to barhop on my B-party just because she's walking down the aisle? It's hardly rude, it's just common sense.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

Wow. My sister and I regularly have a great time together. I believe I spent my 21st birthday with her when she was 15. We went to a restaurant. I got a drink. She drank some wine at home later. There was no drunken debauchery. My sister's my best friend and she has always been very mature for her age. I'm sorry you can't picture her and I having epic times, not really my problem. And your flower girl analogy is just a stretch at best. There's a huge difference between a 16 year old and a 5 year old. Not so much between a 16 year old and 21 year old.

Like I've been saying, you can think and do whatever you want. I'm just putting in my two cents. I think it's rude to do a party that would exclude members of the bridal party. Obviously, if you insist on having a party that is of ageness, then you HAVE to exclude them. I'm not an idiot. I just don't understand why you would want to have a party that all the supposedly most important people in your life that you have standing up with you wouldn't be able to participate in and feel like little kids staying home while the big kids go out to play. If you see nothing wrong with that, then by all means do it.

Ready2BMrsWade · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:8afe737e-0776-427a-85e8-0f66af81d187">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's inappropriate to get married at 19, so I don't know how much more harm a stripper could do.
Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
As a 20 year old bride I find this comment laughable at best, offensive at worst. <div>Op, I totally agree with the PPs, just tell them you aren't paying for room with a stripper and if they want to have one they can pay for the hotel room.\</div>

vicki0508 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polite-way-say-bring-stripper-will-injure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b37175dc-c6b1-476b-9b36-3e7895b364e9Post:14a39899-4674-489f-bf60-7a2156fc5cc6">Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?"</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polite way to say "if you bring a stripper I will injure you?" :<strong> As a 20 year old bride I find this comment laughable at best, offensive at worst</strong>. Op, I totally agree with the PPs, just tell them you aren't paying for room with a stripper and if they want to have one they can pay for the hotel room.\
Posted by Ready2BMrsWade[/QUOTE]

Young brides aren't the norm here, most people agree it's a bad idea to marry so young. I think if you can't drink champagne to toast at your own wedding, you're too young to get married. Are you going to drink sparkling grape juice while the of-age guests drink alcohol?

srkropf · November 2010

Wouldn't it be illegal for the 17 year old to be there at all then? Wouldn't the stripper be charged with exposing himself to a minor-- a felony and consider child abuse?

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