Inviting your boss

hatroopes · July 2011

A co-worker of mine (who is getting married October 1st) and I were talking weddings and I asked who he is inviting from work. Keep in mind that he has been with the company almost 2 years and I started last October, so roughly 9 months. He told me, he read somewhere that etiquette demands that you invite your boss. He is inviting a few people from work, including his boss and I'm only inviting two people that I'm closest to. I thought about inviting my manager, but I'm still on the fence about it. What did you ladies do or plan on doing?

Ksk2012 · July 2011

I am a teacher at a small private school. Inviting my boss would mean inviting her sister (who is the 5th grade teacher and my friend). It would also mean inviting the office lady (who is wonderful) and that would open it up to her best friend the 6th grade teacher. ( I teach 4th). Then how would I look inviting all these folks and not inviting my own classroom assistant. She is wonderful too, but she does not go anywhere without her husband.

So to invite my boss would be to actually just invite the entire school!

So I may be breaking etiquette rules but I plan to invite them to my shower ( I don't care if they bring a gift or not) but I cannot invite them to the wedding.

MrsBoss2012 · July 2011

I don't think your boss should be offended. You have not been there that long.

I'm going to be watching this thread! I feel I'm in a similar situation as @Ksk2012. If I invite one of them I'm going to have to invite ALL of them! I feel really bad because one of them flat out asked me which put me in an awkward spot because I'm still not sure how we are handling coworkers.

I'm not close with my supervisor at all. So all I need is for her to kindly approve my leave for the wedding/honeymoon and that is as much convo we will have about the topic!

So is it ok to invite them to the shower but not the wedding?

simbidi · July 2011

None of the above. I don't like any of those people that much!

pinkcottoncandy7 · July 2011

I didn't want to invite anyone but they have just assumed that they are coming! They said I had to invite my principal so I shot her email asking for her address she ignored so that was that. I invited the three teachers I work on the same team with but aside from one of them that was super painful. If you don't have to don't.

egammo3 · July 2011

Personally, I am not inviting any of my Mgrs or Directors bc I don't talk to them outside of work, and therefore, I don't feel the need to include them in my guest list. They are very highfalutin people, whereas, FI and I are very down to earth, and if I want to get loose and back it up on the dance floor and drop it like its hot, I don't want to be judged when I get back to work (they actually do this).

djscat · July 2011

I am inviting my boss and 1 other co-worker who my FI calls my work husband.

Both of these guys I would invite to my house for dinner and be friends with them if I didnt work here. I had to ask myself if I didn't work with these people and I had the same relationship with them that I do now would I invite them. The answer was yes for these two people so they got an invite. I asked the same question of others I worked with and the answer was no so they didn't get invited. I don't think that just because someone is your boss that means they automatically get an invite.

I did read on the internet somewhere that it is a good idea to invite your boss because they are more likely to be sympathetic to your searching wedding websites during work, asking for time off for the wedding, or other wedding related issue that may interfere with your work.

missowens · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_inviting-boss-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:934490f9-94fd-40cb-bda1-8e31498c5073Post:6502b977-fd85-4e9f-b770-61df756b2ea7">Inviting your boss</a>:
[QUOTE]A co-worker of mine (who is getting married October 1st) and I were talking weddings and I asked who he is inviting from work. Keep in mind that he has been with the company almost 2 years and I started last October, so roughly 9 months.<font color="#ff0000"><strong> He told me, he read somewhere that etiquette demands that you invite your boss.</strong></font> He is inviting a few people from work, including his boss and I'm only inviting two people that I'm closest to. I thought about inviting my manager, but I'm still on the fence about it. What did you ladies do or plan on doing?
Posted by hatroopes[/QUOTE]

Is he a member of the etiquette board? LOL.... But anyway, I have only known my boss for about a year, it will be about two years by the time of my wedding. I actually hadn't planned on inviting any of my current co-workers, just b/c I've only known them for about a year, so they wouldn't have been on my original guest list anyway.

mahoganieyes · July 2011

Not inviting no one from my job. Outside work and FB my private life is my private life. Also, be careful about wedding talk at work if you do not plan on inviting all these people. Next people will be asking you more questions about your wedding.

Soon2BSand · July 2011

I'm inviting my direct boss and our boss.

One is getting married a few weeks before me so if she can't come of course I understand. My other boss will probably fly down though.

wallacje · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_inviting-boss-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:934490f9-94fd-40cb-bda1-8e31498c5073Post:538ac830-de0c-4b24-83ef-2916b06a23f4">Re: Inviting your boss</a>:
[QUOTE]None of the above. I don't like any of those people that much!
Posted by simbidi[/QUOTE]

This.

If we don't hang out outside of work then I'm not wasting money on them when I could spend that money on someone I actually want at the wedding.

lalarochelle · July 2011

I'm inviting my principal and 2 assistant principals (one i taught with before his promotion and the other I worked directly under)

hatroopes · July 2011

My job is a little different - since I travel with these people, we usually go out to dinner when we're on the road. I only invited those that I hang out with for non-work related events. I try not to talk about my wedding, unless someone asks me how the wedding planning is going. I usually work from home when I'm traveling, and I don't even have a cubicle there, but I have a monthly catch up call with my manager and we catch up on work and non-work related stuff. She's pretty cool, but then there's another manager that I'm close to and the director (who is over the two managers), I'm cool with too. I feel like if I invite her, then I have to invite those other two as well, and my guest list is already stressing me out. I didnt want to go the B-list route, but I may have to with them lol.

TNMurray · July 2011

I didn't invite anyone from my job

SunnyBB · July 2011

I am inviting my boss and a few co-workers that I am close to (2 ladies are actually BM's). I am inviting those people who I regularly go out with (go to lunch, sometimes hang out on weekends, etc.) But if you aren't in my cellphone and haven't met my fiance you are not coming, sorry!

Fabbiegirl · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_inviting-boss-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:934490f9-94fd-40cb-bda1-8e31498c5073Post:5123b690-b8e8-4f7c-9172-c17754bf8525">Re: Inviting your boss</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm actually inviting my boss (which years ago I would have said No Way), but we're pretty cool. She was even with me when we went to NY for work and I made an appt at Kleinfeld. But if we just had the standard work relationship I wouldn't have invited her - especially because I'm having a destination wedding. That being said, I'm not inviting any of my other co-workers, even if we are "cool". <strong> My rule of thumb is that if we don't call each other up or do things together outside of work, then there's no need for you to be there. </strong>
Posted by empegues[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Exactly. I am not inviting my principal. Plus, I am having a DW, so that is a good way to get my coworkers off my back.</div><div>
</div><div>"Am I invited to your wedding?"</div><div>"Sure, if you can spend about $1000 for 4 days before Christmas"</div><div>*crickets*

</div>

Fabbiegirl · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_inviting-boss-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:934490f9-94fd-40cb-bda1-8e31498c5073Post:6b5bb5fb-5630-44a5-bf00-24c8c3f9487e">Re: Inviting your boss</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Inviting your boss : <strong>Is he a member of the etiquette board?</strong> LOL.... But anyway, I have only known my boss for about a year, it will be about two years by the time of my wedding. I actually hadn't planned on inviting any of my current co-workers, just b/c I've only known them for about a year, so they wouldn't have been on my original guest list anyway.
Posted by missowens[/QUOTE]
LMBO!!!

brittanyjterrell · July 2011

I actually backed myself into this corner to HAVE to invite because I talk about my wedding a lot (they actually ask me about it daily and I do talk, lol) and I am wedding searching online at work :-( and I know she knows because I printed something and accidentally sent it to her printer

Also, I am hoping for a little sympathy for the amount of time I will have off after the wedding.. we are cool and our job requires us to do a lot of traveling and spending time together and she was very happy when I asked for her address.

I also invited three coworkers that I am VERY close with, luckily I don't have to invite the rest because we don't really talk AT work.. so definitely no speaking outside

MrsAllenToBe1123 · July 2011

I'm inviting my administrator, my nurse manager and 3 of my co-workers. I invited my administrator out of respect that I was inviting my nurse manager lol. I am pretty "cool" with everyone at my job, we have a wonderful work environment, but it is the selected group of people (listed) that I can have real and serious conversations with.

Inviting your boss

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