Wedding Etiquette Forum

For reals?

Just got my friend's STD in the mail and went to their wedding website.  The wedding is at 2 with a lovely 4 hour gap.  The reception starts at 7.  We are all out of town so I guess we get to go back to the hotel and twiddle our thumbs for 4 hours.  The kicker is the reception is going to start with a receiving line.  Seriously? I have to wait 4 hours and then schmooze before I can have a drink and eat. Ugh.

Re: For reals?

  • Ugh indeed.  I would decline the invitation.

  • If only that was an option but everyone I know is going.  Our families are close so it will be a huge deal if I don't show.
  • If you do go, I would skip the receiving line and head straight for the bar.  You can say hi to the bride and groom after you get your drinnk and apps.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_for-reals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b97c6168-bf95-412a-a194-0827240be0afPost:50ef12d7-549b-4a0b-98dd-9edccda66b2d">Re: For reals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you do go, I would skip the receiving line and head straight for the bar.  You can say hi to the bride and groom after you get your drinnk and apps.
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    That sounds like a grand idea.  I'm going to need a drink or two or more during those 4 hours to keep my biotchy annoyance at bay.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_for-reals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b97c6168-bf95-412a-a194-0827240be0afPost:916655c2-1195-46cc-81dd-8b45d0fe9143">Re: For reals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: For reals? : That sounds like a grand idea.  I'm going to need a drink or two or more during those 4 hours to keep my biotchy annoyance at bay.
    Posted by beachwed10[/QUOTE]
     Have a drink after the ceremony. It'll reduce the annoyance and going back to the room with your boyfriend a little tipsy can be fun. take a nap and then enjoy dinner and the party.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_for-reals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b97c6168-bf95-412a-a194-0827240be0afPost:854c0309-0aaf-4f68-954c-015981516e23">Re: For reals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: For reals? :  Have a drink after the ceremony. It'll reduce the annoyance and going back to the room with your boyfriend a little tipsy can be fun. take a nap and then enjoy dinner and the party.
    Posted by mcda04[/QUOTE]

    <div>you could do more than have a drink with your boyfriend in those 4 hours! Just leave time for a shower and re-primping after.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_for-reals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b97c6168-bf95-412a-a194-0827240be0afPost:29e6d12f-9013-47af-9e6b-3d759543a223">Re: For reals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: For reals? : you could do more than have a drink with your boyfriend in those 4 hours! Just leave time for a shower and re-primping after.
    Posted by anssett[/QUOTE]

    HAHAHA! All excellent points.
  • if everyone you know is going, go have some drinks with them.

    honestly, i dont know why the ceremony is at 2, but i'd rather have a 7 pm reception than a 3 p.m. one....
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_for-reals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b97c6168-bf95-412a-a194-0827240be0afPost:611a0d44-7ac9-46a3-8369-cf605b074167">Re: For reals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]if everyone you know is going, go have some drinks with them. honestly, i dont know why the ceremony is at 2, but i'd rather have a 7 pm reception than a 3 p.m. one....
    Posted by TheBaysideBride[/QUOTE]

    It's probablby due to a church schedule. i know it is "taboo" around here, but oftentimes churches don't have any flexibility on the time they do weddings and many brides perfer evening weddings.

    I knwo it's not ideal, but you can always choose to skip the ceremony and attend reception only..I have seen ALOT of people do that in catholic weddings with a time gap
  • If you plan to go, eat during the time gap so you can handle the receiving line.  Depending on how they do it, you might not be able to get into the reception room without going through it first.
  • We managed to get a 5pm Catholic wedding with no gap, but a lot of churches (dare I say, most?) do evening Saturday mass so evening weddings aren't possible. But evening receptions with dinner and late night drinking and dancing are pretty popular. Nature of the beast.

    Truth be told, if there must be a gap over an hour, assuming it's in an interesting town, I prefer a 4-hour to say, a 2-hour.
    I was at a wedding once with a... 7 hour gap. We were in Chicago so we walked around downtown, went Christmas shopping, went to a bar with some friends. Re-primped.
    At another wedding with a 3-hour, we went and played mini-golf.
    It's the 60-90 minute gaps I hate... we usually just find the place and sit at our table hungry (if it's open), or sit in our car in the parking lot if it's not.
    But I might be the weirdo in this case...
  • I would think people would have there own little get togethers inbetween but I say get some food and drinks in that time! then you can stand in the recieving line since you will have had a couple already! 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_for-reals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b97c6168-bf95-412a-a194-0827240be0afPost:89864b22-de1a-413e-8fcf-b931cf07fa6b">For reals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just got my friend's STD in the mail and went to their wedding website.  The wedding is at 2 with a lovely 4 hour gap.  The reception starts at 7.  We are all out of town so I guess we get to go back to the hotel and twiddle our thumbs for 4 hours.  The kicker is the reception is going to start with a receiving line.  Seriously? I have to wait 4 hours and then schmooze before I can have a drink and eat. Ugh.
    Posted by beachwed10[/QUOTE]

    FA REEEEAL???? IDK about that wedding...sounds like a decline to me....waaait you may have a great time!
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_for-reals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b97c6168-bf95-412a-a194-0827240be0afPost:b71433a6-cb3c-4f8e-a192-bf77d246309f">Re: For reals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What is the big deal about the receiving line?  You aren't supposed to chat with people while you are being greeted.  That is rude.  You just say, "I'm so happy for you!", move on, and go get yourself a drink.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    Even though that's what you're <em>supposed</em> to do, too many people could hold it up for prolonged "How <em>are</em> you? It's been so long!" type conversation.
  • Sadly I'm in the same situation.  Just received an invitation for a wedding in 4 months (invites went out early, but the RSVP date was normal so I'm hoping it was just ignorance on the B&G's part) with a 2pm ceremony and a 6pm reception.  We also cannot decline b/c H is in the wedding.  Which means, even worse, I will undoubtedly be stuck solo for those 3 hours while they run around and do photos.  Either that or I guess I trail after them which sounds even worse. 

    Luckily I know the wives of the other GM, so hopefully we can find something to do in the meantime.
  • I am sure they picked that schedule because of the available times for a church wedding and still wanted the evening reception. I know gaps are really unpopular on the knot, but before I came here I had no idea how much people hate them as they are quite common in my circle. Honestly it annoys me more when we go straight to the reception and it takes the bride and groom more than an hour to show up.

    We either head back to the hotel and relax or take the time to grab a drink and catch up with family and friends we haven't seen in a while. If you are lucky maybe the bride and groom will host something informal in between.

    Also we started our reception with a kind of receiving line, although we didn't tell people before. Just H and I stood by the door and greeted people as they entered the room. Not everyone arrived at the same time, so there were never that many people waiting. There was also the bar close to the entrance so some people just went over to the bar got themselves a drink then came back over to say hi. Worked out fine and wasn't a big deal for guests. Hopefully this couple will do something similar.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_for-reals?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b97c6168-bf95-412a-a194-0827240be0afPost:6ba4d9ff-593f-426b-981f-7cd9f4f325cc">Re: For reals?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: For reals? : <strong>It's probablby due to a church schedule. i know it is "taboo" around here, but oftentimes churches don't have any flexibility on the time they do weddings </strong>and many brides perfer evening weddings. I knwo it's not ideal, but you can always choose to skip the ceremony and attend reception only..I have seen ALOT of people do that in catholic weddings with a time gap
    Posted by loca4pook[/QUOTE]

    Yes, it may be beyond her control.  While totally not ideal, it may be unavoidable. 
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  • What is the big deal about the receiving line? You aren't supposed to chat with people while you are being greeted. That is rude. You just say, "I'm so happy for you!", move on, and go get yourself a drink.

    because people dont do this.  they yap yap yap. 
  • I have been to a ton of weddings with large time gaps, one was 6 hours.  luckily it was in the summer, and out hotel had an outdoor pool, so everyone who was staying at the hotel just had some drinks by the pool and we ordered pizza.  We actually had fun hanging out.  and we had a lot of random people who hung out with us too (people with their significant others in the wedding party, so busy taking pictures).  Even though we didn't know them well/at all, everyone had a good time becuase we were all there celebrating the same occasion.  If there is no pool, get a bottle of wine, deck of cards and you can hang out in the hotel with your FI and anyone else you know who is around!
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