So one of my bridesmaids is driving me nuts! She's know since last September that she was in my wedding for this Sept coming up. We've been friends for 8 years or so, I called her the night I got engaged (needless to say she was a good choice for BM).
Well lately she has been a little different to me and I"m not sure what to do. I knew when I picked out BM dresses that I would have to take her into consideration and she is a bit bigger than the other girls. While it's no choice but my own I tried to involve her in looking at dresses online as she lives over an hour away from me. The only way that she would go dress shopping with me is if I drove 2.5 hours each way to the DB in her area, when there was a DB 1 hour away from both of us that obvi. would be more convienent. Unfort the dresses at Davids Bridal look totally different online, so the few that we both really liked and agreed could fit everyone looked horrible in person! Anyway all of my girls live in different states so I decided just to go to DB myself with my mom and pick out a dress in her size and go from there.
As soon as I sent a message to all of my girls with the dress color, style etc. she immediatly got on the phone (before I even got home from DB!) saying "make sure it comes in my size, you really should have taken me dress shopping it probably won't work". When she got home and saw the dress she immedaltiy blew up and started telling me how the dress doesn't work for her, that she tried it on for her cousin's wedding this past summer and they "couldn't alter the dress" to her body (even though she can wear a smaller size than she thought in that dress!) and it "doesn't work for short people like her". Mind you the attendant at DB was short and was aware of my different sized BM's.
To make a long story longer she continued to complain telling me that I would probably have to change the dress (even though everyone else loved it) but she would drive to her DB the next day to try it on. She then posted on facebook many comments about how she will upset her best friend and the bride blah blah making me feel guilty. Thankfully when she tried on the dress she bought it, although stil continues to complain!
She then went on to ask about where I was having my shower. My mom lives in NH where I grew up and this girl lives in CT. I assume and hope that my mom and BM's will throw me a shower and assume it will be in NH. My BM goes on to tell me if it is indeed in NH, she can't go to the shower! Am I wrong in assuming that part of the responsiblity of a BM is to throw a shower? She also is insisting that if I have a Bachelorette party it must be the night before the wedding in the area of the wedding where everything closes down by 10pm. If we are able to have a real rehersal dinner after the rehersal, we won't have time for a party, plus we have to get beauty sleep too right? I suggested more than once thinking about labor day weekend so that everyone can plan and have time off, but she just overlooks it.
She is trying to take over all of my planning, trying to get me to purchase flowers from cost co to save money. While I don't mind the idea of saving money, I'd rather cut down the amount of flowers and go with a trusted shop. I don't even live near a cost co either so I would have to give her the money and have her bring the flowers up plus put them together that day, one more thing to worry about right? She is sending me ideas of centerpieces everyday and upset if I don't like them.
Finally she wants to bring her father to my wedding. I have only met her dad twice. My BM is aware that we are on an extremly tight budget, we've already made a lot of cuts, have heard a lot of complaints of the no children rule and have told every other single guest in a more polite way that we can't afford for them to bring someone else!
Sorry to make such a long vent/rant. Am I wrong here, should I feel guilty and bad? I don't want to be a bridezilla, but I hurt other friends by not picking them to be in my wedding and am under enough stress with this and everyday life. Does anyone else have any issues like this? IS there anything I can do to make the situation better?