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Out of State Bach Party?

kristenrmu22kristenrmu22 member
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
Traditionally the bms and other guests (at least in our area) pay for all of the brides activities, drinks, limo ride, covers, etc. My friend  insists on going away for hers (NYC or Atlantic City) which I don't mind it will be fun. Are the BMs and guests that go suppose to pay for travel too? Just wondered your thoughts. 
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Re: Out of State Bach Party?

  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The hosts (whoever they may be, BMs and/or guests) only need to pay what they feel comfortable with. They also have complete autonomy in planning and don't have to go out of town if they can't afford to do so. If you do decided to travel because the bride insists on it, I would make her pay. It's not fair for her to make plans and then expect everyone else to foot the bill.
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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Pay what you're comfortable with.  My FSILs are planning my bach party, and I think it's going to be OOT.  I don't expect them to pay for all my travel costs, or anyone else's.  I anticipate everyone paying her own way.
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  • jaytee16jaytee16
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    edited December 2011
    I'm a BM at my friend's January wedding and we're going through this right now!  The bride is insisting on going out of town for the weekend (to ski country at peak season, nonetheless).  A few of us approached her about the cost getting to be a little much (especially since she chose $250 BM dresses without once asking about budget!) and she is refusing to give.  Basically, her opinion is if you can't afford it, don't come.  There has not been one hint of her offering to contribute financially either.  So now we all have to decide if we're wiling to dish out the cash or forfeit going to her bachelorette party...
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  • lilMsDIYlilMsDIY member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was a BM in my friends wedding last year and we decided to bring her NYC.  There were 8-10 of us, and we only got 2 rooms.  So we brought air mattresses and got cozy.  We went to a show the first day that we got there, then out for the night after that and went home the next afternoon.
    We also rented an econoline van so that we wouldn't have to worry about cars following each other, and addtional parking expenses.

    Since our friend had no say in her bach. party we did not expect her to pay for any of it!  But if your friend is demanding a road trip, and maybe even nice hotels, then she should offer to help pay her way!

    Goodluck!
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  • DanielleZZDanielleZZ member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've never been the planner of a Bachelorette party for the ones i've attended I paid my way and then bought the bride a few drinks.  This is my opinion as a bride.  My MOH asked me what I wanted and I said it didn't matter I just wanted to make sure everyone on the guest list I gave her could afford to attend.  The only thing I know for sure is that it will be local so I am expecting that everyone invited will buy their own food/drinks and my BM/MOH will chip in to cover mine (this is how it works with my friends for birthdays, I will bring my own $ just in case).  If I was told that it would be OOT I would offer to pay my traveling expenses.  If the bride is requesting something specific, especially if it is more costly, than she should offer to help cover expenses IMO.
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