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My MOH is not coming to wedding.

BetsyFletcherBetsyFletcher member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
Now what? Picking my one bridesmaid and one maid of honor was hard and caused some drama with other friends. Because of the drama, I opted for a very small, family only bridal party. All my close friends knew who my bridal party was and now that she is leaving the country to travel, how do I approach/choose and new bridesmaid, (my sister will get upgraded to maid of honor). I feel awkward... "So hey, ____ is leaving the country, you're my runner up! Congrats?"

HELP!
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Re: My MOH is not coming to wedding.

  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    Why do you think you need a new bridesmaid?
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  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-not-coming-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:7007bb3f-32ac-4472-8e05-d84fddadc5d7Post:125dbaf9-ea3d-4b61-8935-5fe22372b2e2">My MOH is not coming to wedding.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Now what? Picking my one bridesmaid and one maid of honor was hard and caused some drama with other friends. Because of the drama, I opted for a very small, family only bridal party. All my close friends knew who my bridal party was and now that she is leaving the country to travel,<strong> how do I approach/choose and new bridesmaid,</strong> (my sister will get upgraded to maid of honor). I feel awkward... "<strong>So hey, ____ is leaving the country, you're my runner up! Congrats?"</strong> HELP!
    Posted by BetsyFletcher@hotmail.com[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly why you don't choose a new BM. Your sides don't have to be even and can you imagine really saying that to someone? Even in not those exact words it comes across very bad.  Just leave things the way they are and if you want you can include something in your program about your friend being an honorary BM, since she won't be present for the ceremony. That way people will understand why there's only 1 on your side.
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  • loop0406loop0406 member
    First Comment
    You don't replace MOH
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    My MOH wasn't sure that she'd be coming to the wedding until about three days before due to some personal and financial issues.  I told her that even if she couldn't make it, she was still my MOH.  She cried.  Thankfully, everything worked out (partially due to me bending over backwards to get her there).
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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  • BetsyFletcherBetsyFletcher member
    First Comment
    Thanks! I never really thought about not replacing her, I guess I felt like we needed the same amount of people on each side.

    Great advice.

    Thank you
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  • roma14roma14
    First Comment
    Good call OP!
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  • JennaV26JennaV26
    First Comment
    Wow that was surprising! Most people argue their initial position to the death!
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    My friend's sister was MOH but ended up being deployed for the wedding.  She was still listed in the program.   There was a joke about making a lifesize cardboard cut out of her in her dress (because it had been ordered and paid for) and having it at the reception but they didn't go there. 
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  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    First Comment
    I agree with PP, my MOH might not make it due to the fact that she is pregnant and her c-section is scheduled for 2 weeks prior to my wedding. If she is unable to make it, than we'll have uneve sides and I'll miss her.
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