No "and guests"

Re: No "and guests"

• kinsey0628 member

  

  April 2010

  i guess you are doing this for financial reasons or venue reasons.  i think not writing "and guest" on the envelope is the right etiquettte for them to get the msg.  personally though, i dont think its very nice not to let single ppl bring dates.  it would suck to have to be single and not get to bring a date to a wedding.

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  April 2010 edited April 2010

  Etiquette says you only need to invite people in actual relationships along with their significant other.  You were right to skirt the issue when put on the spot.

  
  

  When you send invitations, address it just to her.  She should get it.  If she misreads the invitation, you call her and clarify that you are unable to extend the invitation to anyone else

  
  

  Many people are accustomed to getting a date for events.  If you decide not to invite dates for single guests, you'll need to call and clarify if they try to RSVP for extra people.  

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• Liberty27

  

  April 2010

  don't add "and guest" to people in serious relationships, call and ask them what their SO's name actually is.  I hate it when FI and I get a wedding invite and one of us is and guested by a couple who have been dating for less time then we have been living together.

  

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• jeanenneclark member

  

  April 2010

  It always surprises me when people make assumptions about invitations, but they do!  I think that ahead of time you have to seriously consider how rigid you have to be about your reception numbers.  Then stick to your guns.  I read on TheKnot about the suggestion to say to the unthinking friend who assumes it's okay to bring a date, though none was invited, "Oh, golly, Susie, our numbers are so locked in for the reception.  We just cannot squeeze an extra person onto the list.  I hope you'll understand because we really hate that we cannot afford to invite a guest for you."  If your friend has a brain, they'll back down graciously.  If not, I believe your friendship is more important than one more $25 plate for the wedding.

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• amylulich member

  

  April 2010

  ooooo I agree @liberty! I'm going to a wedding this weekend that I received an invite for me plus guest and when I responded I put FI's name so let's hope the escort card has his name lol

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• brabensm

  

  April 2010

  You will be surprised that even if you don't put "and guest" on people's invitations that they will still respond with a guest. Out of the 22 responses, every single person that was not invited with a guest, RSVP'd with a guest. It's stressful, but I have just been calling them all and explaining the situation (no room in the hall). Most have been pretty understanding.
  
  I agree with you not telling her. Its an awkward situation. Good luck!
  

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• JennaV26

  

  April 2010

  Thanks for the responses ladies!  I'll definitely be putting the name of the person's SO on the invitations if they're in a serious relationship. If my fiance received an inviation that said "and guest" on it I'd be pretty annoyed!

  There Are 2 in My Wolf Pack : : : : :Look! A Blog!

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• Kristin789 member

  

  April 2010

  >>Out of the 22 responses, every single person that was not invited with a guest, RSVP'd with a guest
  
  I have never heard of this in real life.  Just send your invitations, with a SO named on the envelope for anyone who is married, engaged, or living with someone.  It's not common to have a single people invite someone as their date, to take advantage of your parents' generosity in providing a Saturday night blowout dinner dance - when they have never heard of this Date-of-the-Month.

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• kinsey0628 member

  

  April 2010

  "have a single people invite someone as their date, to take advantage of your parents' generosity in providing a Saturday night blowout dinner dance - when they have never heard of this Date-of-the-Month."
  
  that's kind of harsh.
  
  i know the consensus on here is that it's fine to not invite singles with "and guest"... so you guys do what you gotta do.  i understand it, if you are doing it for financial reasons and really just cannot extend the invite to any more people for financial reasons.
  
  however, i'm mystified by why people dont understand why it's NICE for people to have a DATE to an event... even if they are single.  if you dont get why it's nice to have a companion for the evening, why are you even getting married???  just bc someone hasn't been lucky enough to find a serious relationship or someone they want to spend thier life with doesn't mean they want to spend the night date-less.
  
  anyway... i know most ppl on here disagree with me, so that's cool.  and i do totally understand when its for financial reasons, i'm just really not down with this sentiment of scoffing at peoples "dates of the week" attitude.
  

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