Postpone Wedding Due to Weight Gain?

KatieMP2011 · October 2010

Has anyone thought of themselves or known someone who has gone as far as postponing their wedding due to weight gain? As if they felt so bad about themselves that it came down to that? I'm really at a wall right now. My wedding is next weekend and I've been feeling the worse about myself. I feel so ugly and fat, and I've said to my MOH, finance and mother that I want to postpone the wedding because of how I look and feel about myself. I'm so miserable right now and I'm afraid I'm going to be miserable on my wedding day.

jonchrissy · October 2010

This sounds odd...but do you happen to have PMS? I get that exact same way when I do, I think I look disgusting and want to work out constantly, and then as soon as I get my period I'm happy again.

JW, what did your mom, moh and FI say when you told them this? Could it be you're anxious about being infront of everyone?

crnota · October 2010

Seems a little extreme to me! Think of the inconvenience that it would be to everyone who is already planning on being there (travel, taking off work, etc) and then the church, vendors, etc. Can you even get your money back if you postpone??

If you are unsure about the marriage in general, then yeah, postponing is better than going through with it just because of the reasons above. But if it's just because you think you look fat....personally, I think that is not a valid reason to inconvenience everyone.

Also, what would your FI think?? He loves you for who you are and what you look like, and wants to marry you. If you put it off due to your body size, he may think you have doubts about him, and that it's just an excuse.

Remember that you will look amazing on your wedding day. Everyone always does! Getting in the dress, doing fancy makeup and hair, putting on beautiful shoes and jewelry...it transforms you. And you will have an excited glow, too. I have seen wedding pictures on photography blogs, etc of people of ALL sizes, and they all look stunning on their wedding day.

Good luck!

jessienjeremy · October 2010

Your beautiful inside and out! The stress of everything is probably bringing you down. Just remember you are going to be getting married! I bet you look amazing in your dress too..

You just gotta be positive.. all that matters is what your FI things not anyone else that day!

So just remember its your wedding day!! and your gorgeous!

Tanq&Tonic · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_getting-shape_postpone-wedding-due-weight-gain?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:238Discussion:0eb2e785-3c9c-459c-8fa3-d6cc3fca7f59Post:00242c4c-d0ad-465b-b21a-c28bc284d9ae">Re: Postpone Wedding Due to Weight Gain?</a>:
[QUOTE]Seems a little extreme to me! Think of the inconvenience that it would be to everyone who is already planning on being there (travel, taking off work, etc) and then the church, vendors, etc. Can you even get your money back if you postpone?? If you are unsure about the marriage in general, then yeah, postponing is better than going through with it just because of the reasons above. But if it's just because you think you look fat....personally, I think that is not a valid reason to inconvenience everyone. Also, what would your FI think?? He loves you for who you are and what you look like, and wants to marry you. If you put it off due to your body size, he may think you have doubts about him, and that it's just an excuse. Remember that you will look amazing on your wedding day. Everyone always does! Getting in the dress, doing fancy makeup and hair, putting on beautiful shoes and jewelry...it transforms you. And you will have an excited glow, too. I have seen wedding pictures on photography blogs, etc of people of ALL sizes, and they all look stunning on their wedding day. Good luck!
Posted by crnota[/QUOTE]
Quoted for truth. I couldn't have said it better.

Two angles that I can see to postpone the wedding: 1) you have doubts about the marriage, or 2) your self confidence issues prevent you from properly & fully committing to the marriage. If your panic is simply vanity, then I say take a good hard look in the mirror & ask whether you're willing to potentially lose your husband over this (frankly, I would second guess whether I would be willing to marry someone who postponed our wedding one week out so he/she could look better).

Sorry if that came out more harshly than I intended, but I really, really think you need to think clearly about it.

Laur0813 · October 2010

It sounds to me like you have the jitters. I know that i set huge goals for myself, to be x by this time, and it usually doesnt happen. mostly because its just unrealistic. you might just be really nervous, and using your weight/appearance as a front for that.

The other thing that I thought of immediately is depression. Depression can cause those thoughts. those thoughts dont cause depression. Maybe you should see a doctor for a temporary solution, until this time of high stress passes.

whatever you do, do not continue to let yourself be miserable. but i wouldnt recommend putting off the wedding for several reasons. It will be very hurtful to everyone involved, and a huge hassle. also very expensive. also, you will be beautiful on your wedding day! you will have so much to think about, and so much to do that you wont possibly be worried about some extra pounds. Good luck!! and please take all these posts to heart. they are all right on.

raynes · October 2010

Seriously? If you're unsure about your FI, then yes, by all means, postpone, but to postpone because you're having a fat day? Put on your big girl panties and stop being a negative Nancy.

Stop focusing on the wedding and start focusing on the marriage part. Your FI loves you for you, not the skin on your bones.

Take some time to de-stress and relax. Get a relaxing massage, or a body scrub and spend some time looking in the mirror and focusing on what you love about yourself. Take any negative thoughts and toss them out the window. Read through the Operation Beautiful site.

If you're still overly anxious and you're 100% positive it's not because you're unsure of your FI, talk to your doctor. They may be able to prescribe something to help calm you down.

You can help reduce bloating by cutting back on your salt intake, drinking plenty of water and avoiding processed foods. Other than that, just work on your attitude.

PeonyPrincesskdd · October 2010

This sounds a little crazy. Does your FI support this idea??

How is it that you think you can postpone the wedding and your FI has no say about it? Or is he okay with that??

One person just can't make that decision.. your FI needs a say as well.. and I am pretty sure he won't think you have a good enough reason to postpone the wedding for that reason.

It's a little silly. Really. And then hypothetically if you do post pone the wedding, something else comes up like you have a pimple.. or something else that will ruin the "perfect wedding look".. nobody is perfect on their wedding day. I don't know where these ideas are stemming from.. or what high expectations you were given from some one above..
I think you need to stop worrying about weight and look at the positives.. I'll tell you this.. there are people are were heavier brides and I consider one in particular who I believe was just so beautiful... What I mean is that even though this girl was bigger, her face was stunning and her hair and her glow and her smile, and it didn't matter that she was stick thin! She was curvy.. thicker arms.. but not "fat" per say.. but not a size 6-8..

Not everyone has to be a size 6 to be beautiful. There are bigger brides that looked just as beautiful and this case their beauty was outstanding. It doesn't matter about weight. Focus on taking care of your skin to have beautiful glowing complexion.. and a beautiful smile.. and get a good make up and hair lady to make sure you look your absolute best..

You need to get your confidence up. Your FI loves you for you. Not for what size you are.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2010

No way. I had to have a corset put into my dress, which I did not want to do (my dress had covered buttons running down the back), but it was what I had to do unfortunately. But I never considered postponing. For the time we sent STDs, 7 months before the wedding, the date was set in stone - friends and family started booking their airline tickets at that time.

FavoriteOne · October 2010

Contrary to popular belief, the wedding is NOT about how you look. It's about two people getting married. I agree with Raynes. Reevaluate to see if this is about being sure of your fiance, or put your big girl panties on.

MyWedding13 · October 2010

Girl, get it together!!!! I am sure you look amazing and you are getting married!!! YAY!!!!! Go and be the beautiful bride you are meant to be and enjoy yourself and your new husband. Don't give postponing your wedding a second thought!

Roxygrl2002 · October 2010

Don't postpone due to your weight. As many have said, your FI loves you for who you are...

If you're looking to lose weight though. I lost 10 pounds and a couple inches off my waist with Hip Hop Abs and the 6 day slim down. It's a no/low carb diet, very low sugar, low fat... it's a tasteless diet combined with exercise, but it worked for me.

However, with that said there's NO reason you should stress over your weight this close to your wedding. Pre wedding jitters is common. If you know you love your FI and want to spend your life together then don't let a very superficial thing like weight ruin the moment.

kayakrunhike · November 2010

No, do not postpone your wedding due to your weight. I'm hoping, for your sake and everyone else's, this is related to jitters and/or PMS.

On top of what everyone else said, what are you going to tell your vendors? They won't be willing to refund your deposits because you feel fat. With less than a week to go, your flowers will be coming in now, if they haven't already. You will probably lose most, if not all, the money you paid for your venue, food, etc.

Your FI proposed to you (hopefully!) bc he loves you, not bc of your weight. Don't let this ruin your wedding day.

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