Fake License?? Already Married!

megandmatt2010 · December 2010

My Husband/Finance and I are having our ceremony and reception on New Years Eve this year. We had our first child this year and decided to do the legal marriage in March. We decided to keep this a private matter and have not told our friends and family because to us the 'real' marriage is when our friends and family are there to witness and support us.

That being said, I am trying to find a marriage license that we can sign for the wedding on New Years for commemorative purposes.

I haven't been able to find any templates that look remotely real. Any ideas???

jenn.daniel · December 2010

I think you're having trouble finding a license b/c this is a bad idea.

aleighk1 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:e8bca5f9-45db-4e56-ad31-1d42e066ba43">Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]My Husband/Finance and I are having our ceremony and reception on New Years Eve this year. We had our first child this year and decided to do the legal marriage in March. We decided to keep this a private matter and have not told our friends and family because to us the 'real' marriage is when our friends and family are there to witness and support us. That being said, I am trying to find a marriage license that we can sign for the wedding on New Years for commemorative purposes. I haven't been able to find any templates that look remotely real. Any ideas???
Posted by megandmatt2010[/QUOTE]

<div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">This is a terrible idea. You should not lie to your friends and family about your marriage and then have them believe that they will be seeing you and your "finance" being married for the first time. Also, you can't legally have a wedding ceremony if you are already married. It is now considered a vow renewal and I think you should tell your guests exactly what is going on. </div></div>

SaraAndrew2010 · December 2010

Please don't lie to your family and friends. You are already married. You had your wedding ceremony when you were legally married. If you want to have a party to celebrate, fine. But please don't concoct an elaborate hoax complete with fake marriage license to trick your loved ones into thinking they are witnessing your actual marriage. If people find out that they saw a fake ceremony, they will be very offended that you were dishonest with them. Just be honest about the fact that you are already married.

trix1223 · December 2010

Well, for starters, you're wrong about the "real" wedding. That happened back in March. Should something have happened to either of you since that day in March, you would have received all legal spouse entitlements. So you ARE married.

You didn't have a PPD, but that's entirely different. IMO, adults make decisions, and know that decisions come with consequences. And then they live with those consequences.

The consequences of the decision you made to get married in March means that the PPD is off the table. And not telling your family and friends is a recipe for disaster. Because the information WILL come out that you're already married. And then people will be unhappy, and with good reason.

For starters, I'd be telling everyone NOW that what they'll be witnessing at the end of the month will be a vow renewal, not a wedding. And then accept the fallout of their disappointment and anger.

The reason that you're having a hard time figuring out how to get a pretend license and pull the wool over on everyone is because there is no good way to do something so blatantly wrong.

And FWIW: You have to know it's wrong, or you wouldn't have had any qualms about telling your friends and family. And you wouldn't be trying to fake a wedding now.

aerinpegadrak · December 2010

You've been lying to everyone you know for nine months already? Oh dear. Finding a fake piece of paper to sign is the least of your worries by a long shot. My only suggestion is to come clean now if you have any hope of ever being forgiven.

megk8oz · December 2010

You aren't going to find a pretend marriage license anywhere. Well, you might, but most likely the bride and groom's names will be listed as "Barbie" and "Ken", and it will have been notarized by Mattel.

The reason you can't get a fake license is because you already had your "real" wedding. It may not have been the one you wanted, but it most certainly was the real thing. What you're planning now is fake, and deep down you know it, because you're looking for admittedly fake documentation for it so you can cover up the real thing.

Marriage is for grown ups. Grown accept that there are consequences for their actions. Be a big girl and just own up to what you did. If people get hurt over it, you need to understand that this is 100% your fault. You lied to everybody about one of the biggest moments in your life. Deal with it.

artbyallie · December 2010

Somebody tell me this is MUD, please... I'm quickly losing faith in humanity.

OP, come back and say this was all a joke...

tldh · December 2010

I am just speechless and losing faith in humanity if there really is somebody this selfish and self centered. If I were a guest and went to this show I would be pissed if I found out. If I had pulled this for whatever reason, my mother would have killed me.

You had your wedding. Just because it wasn't a pretty princess day doesn't mean it wasn't the REAL wedding that it was.

sister2groom · December 2010

I can't see any officiant being OK with this, and if you didn't tell your officiant and made him believe it was a legal marriage by falsifying a legal document that would be fraud, which is illegal.

vicki0508 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:3b21d5b6-b245-4b9b-b2c8-c354fe5da4e0">Re: Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't see any officiant being OK with this, and if you didn't tell your officiant and made him believe it was a legal marriage by falsifying a legal document that would be fraud, which is illegal.
Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]
So so true. I assumed the fake license was in case a family member asked to see it, I didn't think she'd actually present it to an officiant! But who knows how far she's willing to carry on this charade.

kellya01 · December 2010

I call troll.

stellaella · December 2010

I'm sorry, but this is very distasteful. Not only is lying to your friends and family horrible, but you actually want to go so far as to sign a FAKE document in front of them?

Please give your head a shake.

Your REAL wedding was the one in MARCH.

zitiqueen · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:e8bca5f9-45db-4e56-ad31-1d42e066ba43">Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]My Husband/Finance and I are having our ceremony and reception on New Years Eve this year. We had our first child this year and decided to do the legal marriage in March. <strong> We decided to keep this a private matter and have not told our friends and family because to us the 'real' marriage is when our friends and family are there to witness and support us.</strong> That being said, I am trying to find a marriage license that we can sign for the wedding on New Years for commemorative purposes. I haven't been able to find any templates that look remotely real. Any ideas???
Posted by megandmatt2010[/QUOTE]

Translation -- we still want gifts.

rjtutter · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:c4082b35-9adf-4593-ae30-43bc06015761">Re: Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fake License?? Already Married! : *raises hand* While I can't tell you if OP's situation is real or not, I personally know 2 (not 1 but 2!) couples who pulled this bit, or at least tried to. In both cases, they were found out, one before the fake wedding occured, the other about 5 years afterwards. There is still really bad blood in both families and both couples regret it.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Yep, I know of a couple who did this... my MOH brother and his wife. They were stupid enough to have pics of the JOP ceremony on their computer and a relative found out. To make matters worse they were planning on a destination wedding wtih an at home reception. It turned into just a vow renewal / reception but with all the bells and whistles of a wedding. I went to support my friend, but thought it was kind-of tacky. They had a LOT of people decline invitations to the vow-renewal, they say it's because of other weddings / events... but I think a bit of it had to do with the fact they lied about being married. It's offensive.

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:e8bca5f9-45db-4e56-ad31-1d42e066ba43">Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]My Husband/Finance and I are having our ceremony and reception on New Years Eve this year. We had our first child this year and decided to do the legal marriage in March. We decided to keep this a private matter and have not told our friends and family because to us the 'real' marriage is when our friends and family are there to witness and support us. That being said, I am trying to find a marriage license that we can sign for the wedding on New Years for commemorative purposes. I haven't been able to find any templates that look remotely real. Any ideas???
Posted by megandmatt2010[/QUOTE]
THere is no license because you're already married. You're have a party, not a wedding, because you're already married. A "real" marriage is when you sign the papers, that's what makes it legal. How do people not understand this?

This is all an AWFUL idea. It's horrible to LIE to your family and friends. Your "wedding" you're planning is nothing more than a sham. You're planning to completely mislead and deceive your guests. Doesn't sound like you really care about their support considering you already got married.

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

Muffin- Yes, troll. "finance", already married, lied to family and friends, looking for a fake wedding license? It can't (oh please) be real.

cathrynprice · December 2010

The marriage license is issued by the State. I think you are referring to a "marriage certificate", which is not a legal document.

KnaijaQueen · December 2010

I don't know if this situation is real or not, but if it is. It's not always such a good idea to do this.

With that being said, there are MANY people who do this for military purposes or immigration purposes. If you intend on keeping it to yourselves, then KEEP IT TO YOURSELVES and tell NO ONE.

There's no need for you to have to sign a marriage license in front of everyone. Most people are not going to ask to see the license after the fact.

agirlnamedbrad · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:969bf4ec-2947-4948-a0eb-301d035648d0">Re: Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know if this situation is real or not, but if it is. It's not always such a good idea to do this. With that being said, there are MANY people who do this for military purposes or immigration purposes. If you intend on keeping it to yourselves, then KEEP IT TO YOURSELVES and tell NO ONE. There's no need for you to have to sign a marriage license in front of everyone. Most people are not going to ask to see the license after the fact.
Posted by KnaijaQueen[/QUOTE]

This is exactly what I was going to suggest... THERE IS NO EXCUSE for people to be so hateful about this! It's not what I would do but guess what, it isn't my wedding. Good luck to you... I hope it all works out!

trix1223 · December 2010

Kqueen and bradgirl:

you both do know that marriage licenses are documents of public record, right? So even if they think they tell NO ONE, it can eventually come out.

And I happen to think that beginning one's married life by lying to friends and family is a pretty terrible start to a relationship. It just gets harder and harder to keep up the lie.

OP: tell your friends and family. There's really no good reason not to tell them, and about a zillion reasons why it's a bad idea to lie to everyone.

agirlnamedbrad · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:fd2d5748-d3a4-412e-9880-2883730bdcf0">Re: Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]Kqueen and bradgirl: you both do know that marriage licenses are documents of public record, right? So even if they think they tell NO ONE, it can eventually come out. And I happen to think that beginning one's married life by lying to friends and family is a pretty terrible start to a relationship. It just gets harder and harder to keep up the lie. OP: tell your friends and family. There's really no good reason not to tell them, and about a zillion reasons why it's a bad idea to lie to everyone.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

Actually, I am completely aware of that...
However, with her wedding being a little over 2 weeks away, it seems as though the decision to go ahead with this has already been made. Kqueen's suggestion was only to not exaggerate the deception even further by providing false documentation. My point is that being hateful and calling someone names is no help at all

trix1223 · December 2010

bradgirl: please point out where anyone called her names? As for being hateful? I also don't think that anyone was hateful. They gave opinions. They gave strong opinions.

They said things that OP didn't want to hear. But that doesn't make it hateful. Just very, very honest. And I can promise you that most of us are only telling her what her family and friends will be thinking when this charade gets out.

But no one called her names, and no one was, IMO, "hateful".

agirlnamedbrad · December 2010

And that is what makes my opinion mine and your opinion yours.

Manwaithiel · December 2010

Anyone who thinks lying to their family like that is okay is nuts. And anyone who thinks their friends and familiy aren't going to be PISSED when they find out is also a looney tune.

My friends and family are completely 100% behind what FI and I are doing, but we TOLD THEM. The have been/are being fully disclosed. We're not hiding anything. And everyone either loves the idea or just says "More power to you!"

These are your loved ones. They will understand if you want to get married and have a party later. They will NOT understand being lied to because you didn't trust them with the truth for whatever reason (whether it's cause you wanted gifts or just thought they wouldn't get it, etc.)

This is not okay. It's not.

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

I don't see where anyone said anything mean or hateful.
Lying to your family andfriends in that capacity is just not okay. Ever.

Sarahsue1684 · December 2010

I dont understand why this was kept private in the first place....usually brides are so excited to say "ahhh were getting married". I wouldnt have been able to keep it a secret nor would i have ever wanted to keep my friends and family out of the loop!!!

marksle84 · December 2010

Everyone is being extremely rude to this BRIDE!

I understand the fact that some things have to be kept private. It was her and her FI decision to already be legally married. But her family will remember this DAY and celebrate it for what it is. You all are having a fit over a piece of paper!

So Megan and Matt congratulations on your coming wedding. And just explain to your wedding officiant what the situation is. No one will even notice that you didn't sign anything. Most don't even need a witness signature besides the officiant.

Just make sure your officiant knows, so the legality of it all is proper. But the day is for the memories and what you make it, not when you sign a piece of paper!

megk8oz · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:82b646e2-f162-4921-8e99-5b8ba510314e">Re: Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone is being extremely rude to this BRIDE! I understand the fact that some things have to be kept private. It was her and her FI decision to already be legally married. But her family will remember this DAY and celebrate it for what it is. You all are having a fit over a piece of paper! <strong>So Megan and Matt congratulations on your coming wedding.</strong> And just explain to your wedding officiant what the situation is. No one will even notice that you didn't sign anything. Most don't even need a witness signature besides the officiant. <strong>Just make sure your officiant knows, so the legality of it all is proper. </strong>But the day is for the memories and what you make it, not when you sign a piece of paper!
Posted by marksle84[/QUOTE]

1) It's not her "coming wedding". Her wedding came and went last March when she chose the court house. To say that a court house wedding "isn't the real thing" is "extremely rude" to all the women that just went to a court house for their own nuptials.

2) She doesn't need to worry about the "legality of it all is proper", because she's already been <strong>legally married</strong> since last March. What she's doing on NYE is putting on a show-you don't need "legal paperwork" to put on a show like this.

Now if the OP decides to go through the process if divorcing her <strong>husband</strong> (Not her "fiance"-he stopped being that in March) between now and NYE, then (and only then) this will be a "real" wedding.

tldh · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:82b646e2-f162-4921-8e99-5b8ba510314e">Re: Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone is being extremely rude to this <strong>BRIDE!</strong> I understand the fact that some things have to be kept private. It was her and her FI decision to already be legally married. <strong>But her family will remember this DAY and celebrate it for what it is. You all are having a fit over a piece of paper!</strong> So Megan and Matt congratulations on your coming wedding. And just explain to your wedding officiant what the situation is. No one will even notice that you didn't sign anything. Most don't even need a witness signature besides the officiant. <strong>Just make sure your officiant knows, so the legality of it all is proper.</strong> But the day is for the memories and what you make it, not when you sign a piece of paper!
Posted by marksle84[/QUOTE]

1. We don't use kid gloves here. Being a bride does not give you a get out of jail free card for just being dead wrong about something.

2. We "are having a fit" because of what we know will happen if any of her guests find out about this little charade. They most certainly will remember the day for what it is and it will not be pretty.

3. Good luck finding any officiant who will go through with this. I seriously question if the one OP has booked knows that they are already married.

CaseyandSalley · December 2010

you know, from personal experience

I had a freind who was getting married and wanted me as her bridesmaid, come to find out she was already married, got married in Sept was getting "married" in May the next year. I was so hurt that she didnt say a word about being already married. We were pretty close freinds.

So I declined to be her "bridesmaid" for May. She was already married, she had her "wedding" and she was living a lie making people think she was still engaged.

My point we are not close anymore havent talked in ages.
So, my point, tell people the truth.

Liars suck

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