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October 2011 Weddings

we have to wait so longgg!!

hi ladies!! so i was engaged in august 2009. TOTAL SURPRISE. i mean we had discussed marriage but i never saw it coming when he proposed!!! so i am insistant on a fall wedding because i LOVE the season/colors/everthing about it. and i want my bridesmaids to wear brown and i want lanterns on the tables!! i already know what i want as far as little things like that. however a lot of people keep telling me they think 2011 is so long to wait and now that i think about it, it is kind of long. there are a bunch of reasons why we decided to wait until then but i am worried it may seem strange to others. and that people may forget we are engaged!! :( is anyone else feeling this way or having this problem? Sometimes i feel like maybe we could do it for 2010 but it would be better to wait until we are living together and saving more money if we wait until 2011...

Re: we have to wait so longgg!!

  • I got engaged in march of 2009 and planned on a oct 2011 wedding for the same reasons...the fall season, the colors and everything about it... we wanted to be both done with college and we both wanted to get a place of our own but i am also  very crafty and making all the favors, invitation,centerpieces,save the dates..you name it im making it... so if your crafty just think you wont be in a rush to get it done soon and if your anything like me im a perfectionist so its going to take me awhile! i do feel sometimes that my family will forget and i do get discouraged sometimes because it is far away but its better than being rush and you might be able to get some good deals on supplies. ebay has some cute lanterns by the way...hope this helped alittle...
  • I got engaged in June 2009 and automatically I knew we would have to wait until 2011 to get married. We both not done with school until next year. He is done in March 2010 and I am done in June 2010. I wanted to wait a year or so after we graduated to get settled into a new job and have the feel of paying back student loans :(. But I know that by waiting until 2011 I will be financially ready, because we have already started saving for our wedding, house and have a bank account for our honeymoon. I know when I tell people 2011 they look at me like I am crazy, but I think it will be nice so I know how you feel it feels so far away and agree with pp that if your doing crafts it gives you time and your not rushed. I am doing a few things and have bought a few things for the reception hall already so I am not buying everything at once. So I felt the same way at first, but after you get to thinking about it it gets better. Sorry for the long post....
  • People will NOT think you are crazy for waiting. What's it matter, anyways? In my situation, FI and I have been together for 8 years, so what's 2 more? It's going to go by sooo fast. Enjoy this time you have for your engagement. I have a friend that was engaged for 2 years and she said it was the best decision she made. It gave her the extra time to get things done without having to stress. Don't worry about it!!!
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  • I'm really glad we switched our date now. I found out not long after we got engaged that both my sisters are planning weddings next year. So needless to say that would have been hard on our parents and OOT guests if we had kept our original date. Waiting an extra year is also helping us save for our own place. We are currently living with his parents. People might forget that you are engaged but when you send out the STDs it will be like a celebration all over again for them if they did.
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  • I've been engaged since Nov 2008..and planning a 2011 wedding.  We do not live together (I am an hour away going to college) The way finances are going for me at the moment..we may even have to push it to 2012 as bad as I don't want to...hes trying to save for a house and I can't pay my bills so he's having to cover what I can't...school is EXPENSIVE and waitressing isn't paying the bills right now! ...but either way 2011 or 2012 we're together now..were going to be together then. So I'm fine with it...Yes I want to be able to snap my fingers and everything be right and perfect and all that but then it wouldn't be real so...you learn to adapt. Good luck hanging in there...2011 will be here WAY before you know it! Heck its almost 2010!
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  • I too got engaged this past August and we are planning for October 2011. It does seem like a long time but we knew that in order to get the wedding that we want we needed time to save and to plan. We could do it in 2010 but it wouldn't be nearly what we are envisioning for our wedding. I know what you mean about feeling like people may forget that you're engaged. When we told our families when we got engaged everyone was thrilled. But now that they know the wedding is not for 2 years its not even a topic of discussion. Sometimes I don't even feel engaged. But again in the long run I know our time will come and pushing it to 2011 was the right thing for US. That's all that really matters. And I feel time will fly by. Look its already been 1.5 mths since you got engaged. October is halfway through! I guess we just need to enjoy this time before all the real craziness begins. :)
  • I've been getting flack from my coworkers about our long engagement as well. They simply don't understand our personalities or situations and frankly, I'm tired of trying to explain it to them. For now, when people ask about our wedding date, I just say we are undecided, even though we are pretty sure that we want October 2011. Our reasons are based more on just how busy our lives are the moment. I'm working full time and completing my graduate degree. I'm also in the middle of writing my thesis, which won't be completed until probably Spring 2010. My FI is vying for a promotion at work and is putting in many hours and working late every night. We barely have time to ourselves, let alone start planning a fall 2010 wedding. We are also being pretty ambitious about our honeymoon - we want to take two - three weeks in New Zealand/Fiji and Bora Bora/Tahiti. By 2011, we'll have enough vacation days and my FI is eligible for a sabbatical. I could go on and on why we are waiting... Everyone is right, it will go by so fast and we'll actually get to enjoy every moment of stress-free planning, unlike many brides who fret so much about it because they planned their wedding so soon.
  • OMG Figi and Bora Bora!!! I am soooo jealous! The movie "Couples Retreat" that just came out with Vince Vaughn is filmed there. It is HILARIOUS!! And the place is absolutely beautiful...definitely in my top five places to go before I die!!
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  • We also been together for over six years (high school sweethearts) and decided we can wait another two years so we don't rush into anything and not be financially stable and then basically be screwed. We both live with our parents still so this has helped us save some money so far which is good.
  • I'M SO EXCITED I FOUND THIS BOARD...its nice to know that others are going through the same thing. We just got engaged in September and agreed on oct 2011. I feel like when i talk about the wedding people look at me like im crazy because its 2 years away. The good thing about a long engagement is that when all the fall decore goes on sale we can get it on super clearence. Has anyone asked their bridal party yet? What are the thoughts? Is it too far away to ask people to be in your wedding?"
  • I guess I really didn't ask them I kind of just told them. I figured I would let them know in advanced just in case cause a couple of them are engaged that way they know not to take the date and to make sure that they are available on that date. They were excited to know the girls have helped me start planning and my FI guys know too.
  • I have told my MOH and that's it....I'm still deciding on who I want to be my BMs. I have both my sisters and then my FI has 2 sisters but I might just stick with my MOH. It all depends on who my FI asks.
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  • I feel your pain for the whole "2 years?!" thing. Honestly I don't know how people plan weddings in 6 months...or even less than a year. We have started looking at venues and every venue we spoke with was ready to book us for 2011, which was surprising to me! I thought for sure they would look at me like I was crazy. After this month is over we will all be able to say that our date is LESS than two years away! Woo hoo! I have not asked my bridesmaids or MOH. Because a lot of my friends are at points in their lives where they could go many directions I am hesitant to ask until we are closer to the date. I was actually thinking of asking closer to a year or a year and a half out. Plus I really want to make asking them something special. Although I have not fought with my friends since I was a teenager, I'd hate to get in a situation where I asked someone and later changed my mind. I certainly don't plan anything like that happening, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. I also have OOT family to ask and it would be cool to be able to ask them in person!
  • holly, i feel the same way about bridesmaids. I think I am going to ask my MOH, i only have one sister and I informally said she is going to be my MOH but i want to ask her in a unique way. I was thinking of getting her a Chamilia bracelet with the sister charm. I'm in love with these bracelets and once you get the bracelet the charms are affordable. ANY WAY I think the year mark is good for asking the rest of the party. i just want to make sure people know that we are not asking anyone so that their feelings aren't hurt.
  • Wait as long as you need to, as long as its not TOO long because then you'll fall into my predicament...realizing no time will be the perfect time.  I got engaged in 2003 and my wedding is planned for October 2011.  It's time!
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  • I've been engaged since Nov 2007, and been with my fiance for 5 years. For years we've been hearing "when are you getting married?" (even before we got engaged) and, believe me, it's irritating. So, when we finally set a date, we were excited to tell everyone and when we did, after their initial excitement, their first question was, "why so far out?" or "why that day?" And honestly, our response was either "gives us time to plan and save" or "what's the hurry?" I'm not one to buy into social pressures and guidelines about proper engagement lengths and relationship timelines. I don't understand why getting engaged means a wedding has to be within a year-- Why is anything more than a year considered a long engagement? Isn't it a good thing that you have all that extra time to get to know the person you're marrying? Besides, if you're with the right person ("the one"), then what's the hurry? Moral of the story, wait as long as you want. Don't rush it. We're all excited to have our weddings, but enjoy the time you have now. There will be a lot of people questioning the decisions you make about YOUR wedding and through it all, you have to do what YOU and your FI want to do... Regardless of your reasons, people should be respectful of your decisions. Don't let anyone rain on your parade. :)
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  • shainarae714-very well said and I couldn't agree with you more! I've been with FI for 8 years, so 2 more will be nothing. It's going to go by just as fast as the last 8 did!!!
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  • I agree with the sentiments about waiting longer as to not have to rush with planning, etc. I got engaged for my bday, just over a week ago now and I think we'll plan for Oct. 2011 since my FI wants to get married in the Fall (and we're in the works now to get a house too). So, I want to make sure we have time/money to get the house stuff going and plan a nice wedding. :) Nice to see this board out there! :)

    Hope you all have a fantastic Thanksgiving! :)
  • Welcome smiles1979, we look forward to hearing more about your plans as time progresses!
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  • We got engaged in April 2009 but are also waiting until October 2011 to get married.  I am in Nursing School right now and will finish in May/June 2011.  I hope to do some of the preliminary planning the last year I'm in school and then finish up in the summer after I graduate.  I've seen people that have already booked a venue for this time period, so hopefully I'll be able to find something I want.
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