I'm so upset. We're suppose to be getting married July 2. The invites have gone out, the responses have come back, and half of my family has already booked their flights for the wedding.
I'm miserable though.
My fiance and I fight non-stop. He is either playing video games, sleeping or complaining about something. He has a great job which pays well, but he hates it. So he calls in sick. I'm pretty sure it's just a matter of time before he gets fired.
I'm currently not working. I have one more year of my professional designation. My days are spent studying for school, and then getting our house organized. (We moved in together into a house we bought in April.) If I ask him to help me hang up a mirror or install a dishwasher, he acts like it's ME inconveniencing him.
I hate living with him. He's not fun. We don't have sex, and tonight he just ripped me a new one because I asked him to bring in the garbage pale from outside. He says hurtful and bizarre things like I'm probably bankrupting us (umm my parents gave us $10,000 for furniture - I'm using THAT money to furnish OUR house).
He then says that I can't hack school and I will fail because I don't study enough.
We were excited last month to buy a dog. We both find one we liked and bought it. Now all of a sudden tonight he gets it in his head that I bought the dog behind his back. He wants to get rid of it. He complains that there's too much shiit in the backyard. Well, I walk the thing, I feed the thing, I do the yard and clean up the shiit. Like he literally does laundry every now and then and makes my lunches, but other than that I do everything, including all of the yard work. Our neighbours had a street party last week, and he didn't go. He's anti-social and moody. Most of the neighbours on our quiet street thought I lived alone because I'm always out with the dog, and they never see him.
I think about our impending marriage and it makes me nauseous. We've been together for so long, and I think I can find someone who treats me better, who's attracted to me, and who I have fun with.
But how do I know that it's time to call it off? It's not ALL bad. It just seems like everything is a constant struggle with him. EVERYTHING. I have to call him for dinner because he's playing video games. As of tomorrow, I'm just going to give up trying to eat with him. He can have a cold fucking dinner from now on.
I'm very happy, and want to call it off, but I'm worried I'll be making a big mistake. We've been together for over 6 years.
I wish he would call it off so the decision can be made for me. He called me a bitch today, and how I just nag, how he hates living here, and hates his life. I feel the same.
He makes my positive attitude and happy demeanour go away.