When I first started planning my wedding, I decided that I wanted to have my future sister in law, K, to be a bridesmaid. I also picked my fiance's step sister to be in it, my cousin, and my future niece. The niece is not K's daughter, we'll get to that in a sec. And, my BFF to be my MOH.
Anyway, so now I'm not sure if I want K to be a bridesmaid (I know, you're not supposed to tell them never mind, but...) She said herself she might not be able to make it, since she's joining the military and doesn't know if she'll be able to get leave. And knowing her and how flakey she can be, I'm willing to bet that even if she COULD get leave, she wouldn't make the effort to actually do it. Lately she's only talked to me if she needs me to babysit her two boys. That's super annoying because she will call me, pretend to be calling just because, and then as soon as she asks what I'm doing later I don't think "oh, maybe she wants to hang out!" I think "She wants me to babysit. And she's going to come up with a big sob story so I'll do it." And I used to. But now that she's used me and her family so much, not anymore. She IS married, by the way, and he doesn't work hardly at all, but of course she never asks him to watch the kids so she can go to school. Her four year old was going to be the ring bearer, so I would probably need to change that if she can't make it to the wedding. So, asking her to not be a bridesmaid and change who the ring bearer is might save me a lot of trouble later. But, I don't want to strain my relationship with K. And I really do want her to be my bridesmaid, because even though it doesn't happen so much anymore, we really do have a lot of fun when we hang out. What should I do??
On to the second sister: A is the mom of my Jr. bridesmaid, and also my flower girl. I didn't ask her to be in the wedding because at the time she wasn't really on very good terms with the family. I think I had met her once before picking my party, so not including her was kind of a given. The girls have come to visit their nanny a LOT, so I knew them, which is why they were included in the first place. Now, though, she moved to the city that everyone else lives in, and we've actually grown closer. Still not terribly close, but getting there. My question about her is how to include her in the wedding so she doesn't feel left out?? She really would feel left out, because literally EVERYONE else has a job. And, I don't know if I want her to be a bridesmaid because my fiance is already having a hard enough time thinking of enough people to be groomsmen, and I really want the sides to be equal. I'm a bit OCD. I don't want to force him to randomly pick a person he wouldn't have otherwise, but I don't know where else to put his sister.
Sorry this was so long! Thanks
