Apologies in advance for the long ramble to follow:
Two of my bridesmaids aren't getting along. I probably should have seen it coming since they didn't get along BEFORE, but I figured we are all adults and they both care about me and so can keep it together for a couple wedding events and the one day .....
OK, maid A is my best friend and MOH. Been friends for years, we're like sisters. Maid B is a friend who lives in my building and is a nice person, but one of those "only in small doses" kind of friends, you know? (Ugh, that sounds awful. She's a nice person, but she DOES tend to get on people's nerves because she's a very jealous person, so she's always in constant competition with everyone and that gets tiring).
I kinda felt obligated to ask B since 1.) she asked me to be one of hers and 2.) since we hang out so often and she kinda invited herself to be one, FI and I felt like it might be easier to just include her than it would have been to exclude her and deal with her b**ching about it for a year every time I ran into her in the hall (and she WAS b**ching about it until I just finally asked her).
The other day, A and I went out with some friends and came up with an awesome idea for a shower. Obviously, no plans have been made yet, but it was one of those half-drunk "that would be AWESOME ::highfive::" things. (Yes, we still high-five.)
The next day B sees this on A's FaceBook wall and she FLIPS out that A has talked shower plans without consulting her. So I get a screaming phone call from B complaining that she's being excuded and demanding A's cell number so she can call her and presumably scream at her too. I refuse to give out anyone's phone number without permission, suggest she send A an email if she wants to contact her, and assure her that we just mentioned in passing how cool this particular theme would be and that no one has planned anything.
Apparently not good enough. B seems to have gotten over her affront about planning without her (presumably because A calmed her down in this email) and now she's pissed about something new: B is now furious that A will not agree to make my shower a joint shower for me and B! B was engaged before I was but her FI would not agree to spend any money on any kind of wedding and this winter they went and eloped at city hall. Now they're married, and I think B is really resentful that she didn't get the wedding she wanted. She's now trying to talk A into making my shower a joint one that she can invite her family to as well. Apparently A calmly told her that every bride deserves her own special day and that if B wanted a shower, she should talk to her family about it.
And how do I know all about these exchanges? Because B is screaming at me every chance she gets. A was kind enough not to breathe a word of all this to me, thinking she wouldn't trouble the bride with nonsense and that the two of them would hash it out privately. But I'm getting rambling texts from B all day - and if I dare ignore her or turn off the phone, she comes upstairs and knocks on my door and then the problem is in my kitchen. Right now it's 12:30 in Boston and I've already had B up here twice.
On the one hand, I feel like since this is all caused by the fact that I'm having a wedding that I am kinda obligated to be the coach and fix everything. Then on the other hand, I also feel like maybe this is between them and I shouldn't have anything to say about it all.
A is my best friend and I know I kinda put her in this position by asking a woman to be in the BP that I knew she didn't care for. But on the other hand, I am trying to be sensitive to the fact that B is probably a little jealous about my wedding excitement taking off just as she had to elope. But A kinda feels that even though I feel bad, B is still not entitled to get A and my other BM to foot the bill for a shower for her after she's already been married for 2 years.
Tell me wise Knotties: What should I do??? Any advice would be appreciated greatly! I don't want to deal with this for the next year and 2 months!!