So, my BF and I have been together for almost 5 years. We have talked about getting married and we even recently looked at rings to get an idea of which styles we like and what we he can afford. I'm okay with all of this.
Recently, though, he has started trying to map out the timing of a proposal. "How about getting engaged in January?" he asks. This spins into conversations about when we might get married, venue, etc. It has completely ruined the romance of the proposal which hasn't even happened for me.
I was okay with talking about getting married I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him! and I am glad we looked at rings so he knows what I like. But this technical conversation where he is calculating the proposal is making me crazy. If you want to marry me, ask me! I don't want to "plan" to be engaged.
I told him tonight that I feel that talking about wedding details and logistics of combining our lives once married feels premature to me. We are putting the cart before the horse. I also told him that discussing when to become engaged is sucking all the magic out of it for me. He understood and agreed that we don't have to talk about it anymore.
Did anyone else experience this? Was the proposal so calculated and overanalyzed that there was no element of surprise or romance by the time you had a ring on your finger? Maybe he is afraid of rejection and is trying to assuage his fears before he asks me. I get that, but I don't want to be engaged to be engaged anymore!