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Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?

jenandmacjenandmac
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have asked my fiances' 3 sisters to be in our wedding but I don't necessarily want to invite them to my bachlorette party? What are the rules on this one? If they are in the wedding party do they have to be invited to the bachlorette party? And if not how do I tell them what we are doing without inviting them?
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Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?

  • kate51485kate51485 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    If someone is important enough to you to be in your WP, why would you not want them at your b-party?
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  • DanielleD7782DanielleD7782
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    I think they should be invited since they are in the bridal party. What are their ages?
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    your bachelorette shoudl be with the girls closest to you.  of course, i'd argue that your WP shoudl fit the same parameters.

    however, there is no etiquette  requirement to invite them to the bachelorette, although they may wonder why they arent if they are in the WP.
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  • sarahmk5sarahmk5
    First Comment
    Why don't you want them there?  It seems kind of odd that you'd ask them to be BMs, but not invite them to the bachelorette party.  If I were them and this happened, I'd be kind of hurt.
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  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
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    Is there a reason you don't want to invite them? Usually, the bridal party throws the b-party, so if they are in the bridal party, they might just be planning it for you. It would be supremely rude to not invite them in that case.

    I think its just a normal level of rude to not invite them to a b-party but to ask them to be in your WP. That's just weird.
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  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:57dd68b5-9eb2-4021-bbbc-92cabeaabb08">Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have asked my fiances' 3 sisters to be in our wedding but I don't necessarily want to invite them to my bachlorette party? What are the rules on this one? If they are in the wedding party do they have to be invited to the bachlorette party? And if not how do I tell them what we are doing without inviting them?
    Posted by jenandmac[/QUOTE]

    You're not throwing your own bach party are you? If you have a bach party, generally it's thrown by your bridal party, so I really don't see a way to not invite them. Why would you ask three people you don't want to party with to be in your bridal party? Don't throw your own bach party, and invite your wedding party is my advice.
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  • MissLeahMMissLeahM member
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    I would include them..

    Why don't you want them to par-take?
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  • bbyckesbbyckes member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:57dd68b5-9eb2-4021-bbbc-92cabeaabb08">Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have asked my fiances' 3 sisters to be in our wedding but I don't necessarily want to invite them to my bachlorette party? What are the rules on this one? If they are in the wedding party do they have to be invited to the bachlorette party? And if not how do I tell them what we are doing without inviting them?
    Posted by jenandmac[/QUOTE]

    Why would you want to tell them about your plans if they aren't invited?  Wouldn't that be rubbing it in their faces?
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  • *BeachBride0410**BeachBride0410* member
    First Comment
    Why don't you want them there?
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    First Comment
    The first thing I think of when I read this is "What are you going to be doing that you don't want his sisters to know about."
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
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    ditto Nuggs...
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  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
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    The only acceptable reason for not inviting them would be if they are underage and you're doing something illegal for minors (barhopping, etc.).  Otherwise, they should be invited as members of the WP.
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  • opalsky007opalsky007 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:8b4441d0-af4f-47c8-9dec-60221a81877a">Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only acceptable reason for not inviting them would be if they are underage and you're doing something illegal for minors (barhopping, etc.).  Otherwise, they should be invited as members of the WP.
    Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

    Even if this is the case, you can have a great time with a few underage girls along. My 20YO sister came to my b-party and it was still a blast. We just made sure to pick 18+ bars and clubs.
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  • DanielleD7782DanielleD7782
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    Nugget- I thought the same thing!

    Reminded me of attending my SIL bachelorette party & being two feet away while she made out with some guy.  Such a great moment that I remember every time I see her.
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  • kate51485kate51485 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:8b4441d0-af4f-47c8-9dec-60221a81877a">Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only acceptable reason for not inviting them would be if they are underage and you're doing something illegal for minors (barhopping, etc.).  Otherwise, they should be invited as members of the WP.
    Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

    But even if that's the plan, I think it's rude to not make at least part of the evening something minors could do too, like dinner or some type of event before bar-hopping.  Or bar-hopping to bars that are 18+ so they could come too.  (However, as I've said before, I don't know that I'd want to go to a b-party just to drink a coke.)
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  • angie74angie74
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:e46e164d-219a-4b0d-88b7-971b678b50a9">Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]NReminded me of attending my SIL bachelorette party & being two feet away while she made out with some guy.
    Posted by DanielleD7782[/QUOTE]

    <div>for real? I sure hope you told your brother</div>
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  • tannymcgeetannymcgee member
    First Comment
    edited February 2010
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:e46e164d-219a-4b0d-88b7-971b678b50a9">Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nugget- I thought the same thing! Reminded me of attending my SIL bachelorette party & being two feet away while she made out with some guy.  Such a great moment that I remember every time I see her.
    Posted by DanielleD7782[/QUOTE]

    errrrr..... what???
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    Married 4/30/11
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    First Comment
    Oh man.  I would have been on the phone with my brother in a hot second.
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  • DanielleD7782DanielleD7782
    First Comment
    I actually didn't tell my brother. I thought about it long and hard and actually discussed it with our parents. I decided not to bc I knew he wouldn't leave her over it. Then I would deal the rest of my life with her knowing that I told on her. It was such an ordeal. It still makes me cringe when I think about it. No one really likes her other than my brother. His best man tried to stop him from marrying her and he still wouldn't listen. It just turns us into the bad guys for not liking her.
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    IMO, being in the wedding party secures at least an invite to the bach party-especially considering they might have a hand in planning it.

    Even if you aren't planning on doing anything that they would have to run back to their brother with, everyone will think you will if you exclude them on purpose.

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  • DanielleD7782DanielleD7782
    First Comment
    Put it this way...if you plan on doing something that his sisters wouldn't approve of, don't invite them.
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  • angie74angie74
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:8c0d7fda-6312-468d-9f28-8b0ce4d293e0">Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I actually didn't tell my brother. I thought about it long and hard and actually discussed it with our parents. I decided not to bc I knew he wouldn't leave her over it. Then I would deal the rest of my life with her knowing that I told on her. It was such an ordeal. It still makes me cringe when I think about it. No one really likes her other than my brother. His best man tried to stop him from marrying her and he still wouldn't listen. It just turns us into the bad guys for not liking her.
    Posted by DanielleD7782[/QUOTE]

    <div>that's a total jerk move on your part</div>
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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    First Comment
    I would have recorded it with my cell phone and sent him the video.  He could do what he wanted with it, but there's no way I'd let my brother go into a marriage without all the information on the woman even if he didn't believe me. 
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  • alixzafirisalixzafiris member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:b74ff82e-d14e-43df-9f31-0af28d11dbae">Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party? : that's a total jerk move on your part
    Posted by angie74[/QUOTE]

    Agreed. And if, by chance, your brother ever finds out, I hope he smacks you upside the head for not telling him. As his sister, that was a diick move.
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:8c0d7fda-6312-468d-9f28-8b0ce4d293e0">Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I actually didn't tell my brother. I thought about it long and hard and actually discussed it with our parents. I decided not to bc I knew he wouldn't leave her over it. Then I would deal the rest of my life with her knowing that I told on her. It was such an ordeal. It still makes me cringe when I think about it. No one really likes her other than my brother. His best man tried to stop him from marrying her and he still wouldn't listen. It just turns us into the bad guys for not liking her.
    Posted by DanielleD7782[/QUOTE]

    I wouldn't have been able to live with myself had I been in your situation and not told my brother if something like this had happened.  He has the right to know that his bride to be is a skanky whore, even if he decides not to leave her.

    I would be ashamed of myself if I didn't tell him.
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  • kate51485kate51485 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    OP, where are you?  Answer our questions please.
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  • DanielleD7782DanielleD7782
    First Comment
    Easy for you all to judge when you don't know my brother or my relationship with him.  I had already had several conversations trying to talk him out of marrying her.  I had all intentions of telling him and my parents talked me out of it. It wouldn't have done any good.
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  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:debb9f45-253e-4e0b-a069-69dec8158527">Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Put it this way...if you plan on doing something that his sisters wouldn't approve of, don't invite them.
    Posted by DanielleD7782[/QUOTE]

    How about if you are planning on doing something you don't want them telling their family about, then don't do it. Kinda like a WWJD type of thing...
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  • mandysmearmandysmear member
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    there is no logic to this in my mind.

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  • NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_grooms-sisters-attend-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:499ed6c6-7563-40fe-a060-0c7c115c6e68Post:c04c5a60-390e-4e95-b7eb-41a3c7a12f20">Re: Grooms sisters to attend bachlorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Easy for you all to judge when you don't know my brother or my relationship with him.  I had already had several conversations trying to talk him out of marrying her.  I had all intentions of telling him and my parents talked me out of it. It wouldn't have done any good.
    Posted by DanielleD7782[/QUOTE]

    If you say so. 
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