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Mother-In-Law from hell....HELP!

JuJuBee1977JuJuBee1977 member
First Comment
in New Hampshire
My MIL is driving me crazy!!!! with her demands and pushy ways.  When I come up with an idea and she does not like it, rather than give me her opinion, she responds like she knows best and that my thoughts are stupid.  if she wants someone/something at the wedding, she does not ask, she assumes it to be. Definite communication issues. I am timid and not a confrontational person and so is FH so i am very uncomfortable with this situation

She is helping us with $$$$ for the wedding, but how much should I let her annoy me.  i definitely do not want to ball it up and burst a week before the wedding.

Any advice will help!

Jules

Is anyone else having/had this kind of an issue?
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Re: Mother-In-Law from hell....HELP!

  • Brodie and ChevelleBrodie and Chevelle member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If your FMIL is contributing to your wedding, she should get a say in things. I don't know how much she is giving but if she is helping with the reception and other things then she should be allowed to invite people that she would like to be there.

    There are positives and negatives to accepting monetary help from family members. Unfortunately, the right thing to do is to take some of what she has to say and try to make it work since she's helping pay.

    Hope that helps. I know it stinks to not 100% control your wedding..but it's the right thing to do. If you really don't like something that she is trying to force on you then either you or your FI need to talk to her about it and explain why you don't think it will work for you. :)
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  • RobinandDJRobinandDJ
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am having that problem with my Father in law...except he isn't contributing any $!! I have just started ignoring him lol Its deff a tough situation since she is contributing $ though. My parents are paying for our wedding and they have been really awesome about the decision process. They are thinking of it as a gift to us, not having control over the decisions because they are paying.

    I would talk to her and say that you appreciate her opinions and what she is doing to help with the wedding, however you would appreciate it if she kept your opinions and wants in mind.
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  • RobinandDJRobinandDJ
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You have to stick up for yourself and state your opinions because keeping it in will drive you insane!!
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  • dantodanto
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's your wedding regardless of who is paying.  You need to respectfully listen to her because she's your MIL and it's a big event for her too.  But you DO NOT need to do what she is saying - money or not.

    Nobody can completely share your vision for your wedding.  I made some concessions on some things, but where I dug in my heals were the details that were most appreciated (actually, most of my wedding details people found insane until it came together)
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  • Melissa603Melissa603 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What types of things is she wanting input on? What do you and your fiance want? Are there certain things that you can say "could you figure this out for us?" such as centerpieces or place cards?
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  • JuJuBee1977JuJuBee1977 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hello All,
    Thank you for your replies, I appreciate it.

    What it comes down to is that my FMIL is a controlling woman and I/we were not saying how we felt, right away. She was taking are non response as a "YES" or maybe. I have made it clear that I welcome her suggestions and i must admit she has had some pretty cool ideas, some I will use and some i wont. 

    I guess what annoys me the most is her reactions to when i respond to her suggestions.

    When I wrote this post i totally vented because she drove me nuts on that particular day.  Since then we have sat down and hashed alot out and i am so glad we did.  I feel so much better now.

    Thanks Again!

    Jules
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