Pre Destination Wedding Party Etiquette

kber3674 · May 2010

We are planning a destination wedding and are not sure what is appropriate and what isnt. We/my mom would like to have an engagement party, a stag & doe & a wedding shower. We are just not sure that it is appropriate to have so many parites...thoughts???

akhunter1 · May 2010

I am not sure what a stag and a doe is? We did not have a engagment party but I am having a bridal shower.

Beth0413 · May 2010

Oh & I forgot to include (thanks Meghan for reminding me) that I will also have a bachelorette party of some sort.

ToBeMrs.O2011 · May 2010

I don't think we're doing any pre-DW parties/events. I am a 2nd time bride and FI is not really into any of that, plus our friends and family are literally spread throughout the country. The only ppl close to us right now are FI's family. Out of our 60 invites, 11 are within 500 miles. LOL.

But, I totally think its OK to plan what you want

numb3rMel · May 2010

We didn't do the engagement party but after the fact I'm being told by family and friends we should have. We're having bachelor/bachelorette parties (seperate) and I'm thinking that's what you mean by stag and doe, and then we're having a travel guest meet and greet shower about a month before we leave.

I agree with others. Do the celebrations the way you want. One of the major draws for me with a DW is that traditional etiquette doesn't dictate any events. Do it your way and you'll be happy.

hibiscus118 · May 2010

I am having a shower, and we'll have bachelor/bachelorette parties. I say as long as you aren't the one throwing the parties have whichever ones you want!

BRITTNESS83 · May 2010

I say do whatever you wanna do!! Idk what a stag and doe is either....is that a couples shower?

LolaPizzy · May 2010

We aren't having an engagement party simply because we were engaged over a year ago but we had no idea what our wedding plans would be until just a few months ago, and I didn't want to deal with trying to figure out our guest list until our plans were more solid (since we wouldn't have wanted to invite anyone that wouldn't be invited to the wedding). Now we are more sure of our plans but I think the window of opportunity has passed.

I'm hoping to have a shower but it really depends on whether or not someone offers to throw it. As for a bachelorette party, I'm not sure what's going to happen. I'm only inviting a few friends to the wedding and they are spread out around the country. I suppose at the very least I will go out with my sisters or something but I don't expect anything too wild since they are older with children. I'm sure my FI's friends will throw him a b-party since he's one of the first to get married out of their group and they all live here in Philly.

Islamorada14 · May 2010

I believe a stag n' doe is a party where guests buy tickets to attend - its essentially a wedding fundraiser for the bride and groom: http://www.brides.com/forums/planning-and-etiquette/thread.jspa?messageID=391061

I won't go into my opinion on stag n' doe's. They aren't done in my area or social circle. As for other parties (engagement, shower, bachelor/bachelorette), I think if someone offers to host the parties for you, they are fine.

KristenCR · May 2010

I think this is the fun of a destination wedding, no rules, the etiquette is still being figured out. My wedding is just family (9 ppl total not including myself & FI) so there are no real parties, we had a cook out last sept to announce our engagement with friends but other than that nothing really. The only etiquette I believe has been set (which I learned from this board) is if you have a shower only invite the people that are going/invited to the wedding or people you have already invited to the AHR. I'm not really a big 'party' person so that's my 2 cents on parties.

kber3674 · May 2010

Thanks all! I appreciate your insight. We will definately not be throwing any parties ourselves...kinda tacky, but family keeps bringing this stuff up so I thought I would ask.

To clear it up a Stag & Doe is when ppl (anyone - friends, familly, friends friends, co-workers etc) buy tickets and show up. At the stag & doe you sell tickets for drinks, provide dinner (buffett style), sell fish insurance (at some point in the night some is picked at random to eat a real fish, if you dont have fish insurance then you have to eat it), you play fun games, there are door prizes etc. Its basically a fundraiser for wedding expenses - but its a ton of fun! Stag & Doe's are HUGE in Ontario, Canada. Its pretty much one of the first questions ppl ask "When is your stag & doe?"

Thanks again

angybanez · May 2010

My sister is planning my Bridal shower and Bachelorette Party and FI's groom is planning FI's Bach party. We didn't do an engagement party because we didn't want the financial strain on our parents when they're already paying for their trip to the wedding in PuntaaCana, DR as well as providing partial funds for the wedding. If someone really wants to host it for you then that's wonderful and accept! In addition, since my sister is planning my bridal shower, an engagement party we thought would be another financial strain on guests. We don't want anything other than family and friends to be able to attend the actual wedding. To me the wedding and seeing us get married with our closest friends and family as witness is the most important. We felt like we had to start a registry just for the Bridal shower's sake especially close family and friends who already knew they can't come really wanted to attend the shower.

CraziStarr · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_pre-destination-wedding-party-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:06d2b1c5-d405-4cd0-80ec-cb76d9528f89Post:e0d30926-6b8e-4824-ac3e-f96e1827b087">Re: Pre Destination Wedding Party Etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks all! I appreciate your insight. We will definately not be throwing any parties ourselves...kinda tacky, but family keeps bringing this stuff up so I thought I would ask. To clear it up a Stag & Doe is when ppl (anyone - friends, familly, friends friends, co-workers etc) buy tickets and show up. At the stag & doe you sell tickets for drinks, provide dinner (buffett style), sell fish insurance (at some point in the night some is picked at random to eat a real fish, if you dont have fish insurance then you have to eat it), you play fun games, there are door prizes etc. Its basically a fundraiser for wedding expenses - but its a ton of fun! Stag & Doe's are HUGE in Ontario, Canada. Its pretty much one of the first questions ppl ask "When is your stag & doe?" Thanks again
Posted by kber3674[/QUOTE]

Just visited the brides.com link from PP. I've never heard of Stag & Doe --- but sounds very interesting. I want to go to one :p

Pre Destination Wedding Party Etiquette

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