Vent!

Kate2dance · June 2011

I am starting to think I need to stop telling *everyone* my wedding ideas. I have so many opinions thrown at me it's ridiculous! And my wedding is still months away! To make it harder, I work with all men... yes, it's me and 50 men (or boys... depends on their moods). So I have nobody to talk to throughout the day about wedding stuff. At first I thought this was a bad thing, but now I am starting to realize that people's opinions are everywhere! I can't make an appointment with a vendor without someone thinking it's stupid or not worth the money. Take for instance my boss... he thinks I am stupid for having a wedding at all. No joke. "Just fly to Vegas and get married..." he says. Or, "Spend that money on a house." Ok, good point... I'd like a house someday. But, I have been dreaming of this day for such a long time and it's finally happening! I am an only child and my Mom is just thrilled to help me plan her only child's wedding. I am definitely not spoiled by any means (we grew up lower/middle class), so I am not a spoiled bride that just wants her way or it's no way at all. I just want a pretty wedding so we can celebrate with our friends and family. Is that so ridiculous!? Sorry... needed to vent.
What peeves you while you are planning your wedding?

montyandkellyski · June 2011

FMIL - that's all i got

sorry you're up against such a rough crowd. i'd throw it right back at them guys. or just keep going on and on and on about the littlest detail so they never have a chance to talk, lol. or write it down. even if no one ever reads it, get it out girl! and maybe you can reflect on some of your thoughts down the road if need be. i'm keeping a "love journal" to give to my FI on our wedding day as a gift and it's been a nice outlet. it also helps to remind me everyday why i put myself though this hell.

and posting on this board may be your savior as well!

good luck lady!

watson wedding2011 · June 2011

I feel your pain! I know what your agoing through, cuz if there is any thing that I have lerned according to every one else it's not your wedding! (B.S.I know) and your ideas are dumb and your supose to take every one elce's advice. you just gotta tell them It's your wedding!!!! you will do what ever you want follow your dreams girl!!!!!!!!!!

Belle0000 · June 2011

Same here! I've about had it with all the unsolicited advice, and we still have over a year to go until our wedding. My (male) boss has been saying the same sort of things, like "oh that place is a ripoff..." So aggravating!

Kate2dance · June 2011

I am so glad I am not alone! LOL
@ Belle... my boss is male, too! Honestly, just because YOU got married in a court house doesn't mean that's what I want to do! (This is what I really want to say to him!)
I also get a little sick of, "Oh you think things are stressful now just planning your wedding... just wait until you're married!" Well, I know marriage has struggles because we are all human. But I love my fiance, hence the reason I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I hate the, "You just wait..." advice. We are not 10 years old. I am 28 and he is 35. I think we are old enough to know how to handle a wedding. I had a co-worker tell me TWICE to "not go through with it." He is married and just had a baby 3 weeks ago... and is telling me marriage is awful and not to do it. I'm sorry, but if I were his wife, i'd be really hurt to know my husband who's child I just had is bashing me at work.
Oh, I feel better for venting...

lstirn327 · June 2011

I hate talking about wedding planning because everyone tells me what they think. I have them sending me pictures of wedding dresses they like or ideas that they like. We are planning a rustic weddding and I am having a hardtime explaining that to my mom. Who wanted a big formal wedding which is so not my style. I think every bride goes through this. We all have to remember that it is our wedding and what we want.

green795 · June 2011

I'm sorry you are going through this. What peeved me during planning were the comments from all our immediate family members. Both sets of our parents are divorced and our dads are remarried and we are the only children from our parents' marriages, and so we had some conflict from all sides about how everything "should" be. I hated going dress shopping with my mom, who asked me to try on the most hideous dresses that weren't my style and then got pissed that I didn't like them. Oh and she told me the week before the wedding that she was going to wear a white dress for the wedding. Needless to say, I was livid with her when it came to the parts of the wedding I did include her in. I had to say "Mom, this is my wedding. Not yours. You had your chance and I'm sorry it didn't work out. Now this is my chance." She didn't get it. My grandma thought everything needed to be done the "traditional Italian way" ("Grandma, I'm not serving a traditional 7 course dinner. If you want that to be served, you will need to pay for it because we can't afford it and we don't want it."). My MIL is just an anti-social negative person that carried those traits into the process when I tried to include her. And we moved the wedding up a month so my stepmom-in-law would come to the wedding (too long of a story but my FIL said he couldn't come if my SMIL wasn't going to be able to make it on our original date), and they told us a week before the wedding that she wasn't coming.

Anyways, the point is that it's really common to have issues with the people around you while you're planning. My philosophy when it comes to giving an opinion is if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. The best thing to do if you ever feel peeved is take a step back and think this is your wedding your way and you can do whatever you want.

MissOwl · June 2011

i hate how many opinions people have about how it 'should' be too! sounds like we're all in the same boat. good thing we have TK!

Kate2dance · June 2011

@ MissOwl... no kidding! LOL This is a great place to vent! My fiance is SOOO supportive, too. Love him

Last night his mom (who I love dearly) suggested some ideas that we weren't too fond of... hehe Bless her heart. Her intentions are good, so I don't mind those suggestions... I just hate when other people who aren't even family chime in and tell me what I should or shouldn't do. I can't tell you how many times i've been told to just have the whole family bring in the food and do a potluck. I know some people have done this and I am not against it at all, but we don't want to do that. I just want a caterer to come in and do it for us so we can enjoy the day! LOL

Side note: are any of you terrified that a child with sticky BBQ fingers will come up and hug you in your pretty white dress? LOL Yes, I am scared of this!

Ajoyd · June 2011

Kate, what a coincidence you posted this yesterday, the very day my boss's boss told me he's "sorry" that I'm getting married in Columbus. We live in St. Louis and I'm pretty sure he's from Buffalo. At least I'm not getting married somewhere where it is 90 degrees and 100% humidity from May through September (St. Louis) or somewhere where there are three feet of snow on the ground for 200 days out of the year (Buffalo)!

No offense to fellow knotties from either St. Louis or Buffalo

Cassandra999 · June 2011

I quit talking about my wedding at work due to all the unsoliciated opinions. I just completely stopped, unless anyone asks then I just tell them the basics.

xjulie2188x · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:112Discussion:c9ab60a8-5c51-4e2e-aa65-87d99206a80cPost:80ee09cd-f94b-4222-b033-868e7b6a93e4">Re: Vent!</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate talking about wedding planning because everyone tells me what they think. I have them sending me pictures of wedding dresses they like or ideas that they like. <strong>We are planning a rustic weddding and I am having a hardtime explaining that to my mom. Who wanted a big formal wedding which is so not my style. I think every bride goes through this.</strong> We all have to remember that it is our wedding and what we want.
Posted by lstirn327[/QUOTE]

YES! My Mom was the exact same way! I absolutely fell in love with The Loft, which is definitely not the traditional, formal venue that my mom imagined. After telling her we were going to go with The Loft she dragged me down to Confluence Park to look at it then when the coordinator said he'd put a 3 day hold on it for us my mom said absolutely we loved it & we'd probably have it there.

I just had to sit her down & tell her that 1. that was out of our price rance we set & wanted to spend that extra money else where and 2. that was just NOT our style & not what we wanted. At first she kept trying to change my mind, but now she's on board & we're all much happier for it! Hang in there girls! It'll all work out!

Vent!

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