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Monetary Gifts

mdevette13mdevette13 member
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
My fiance and I are planning to move overseas about a month after our wedding.  We will be teaching at an international school.  We do not have a lot of need for wedding gifts.  The power wattage is different from USA and it is very expensive to ship gifts to us.  We would prefer to receive cash or gift cards that will help us purchase items once we have moved.  I know it is reccommended to only do this by word of mouth, but is there any way to tastefully put this in writing either on the shower invitations or ceremony invitations?
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Re: Monetary Gifts

  • noodle_oonoodle_oo member
    First Comment
    Nope.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Nope.  

    And if you only want cash, you should not be having a shower.  The whole point of a shower is to give physical gifts.  

    People are not stupid.  When they see that you haven't registered and are moving overseas, they will opt to give cash.  
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  • caseyandlizziecaseyandlizzie member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Its definitely rude to outright ask for cash. Ditto PP that you shouldn't be having a shower if you don't want gifts...your guests will be buying you gifts for your shower...that's what they do.

    If you don't want presents, don't register for anything and maybe your guests will get the hint, but yeah, its rude to ask for money.

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  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    NO, NO AND NO!! Whatever your circumstances are it is NEVER appropriate to outright ask for cash gifts. Showers are to shower the bride with gifts, not cash.
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  • GoBucksOHGoBucksOH member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_monetary-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:cfa60a03-62ef-4d1f-b981-858b59eee402Post:91988e77-5c05-477a-8752-8b9842e508be">Monetary Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are planning to move overseas about a month after our wedding.  We will be teaching at an international school.  We do not have a lot of need for wedding gifts.  The power wattage is different from USA and it is very expensive to ship gifts to us.  We would prefer to receive cash or gift cards that will help us purchase items once we have moved.  I know it is reccommended to only do this by word of mouth, <strong><em>but is there any way to tastefully put this in writing either on the shower invitations or ceremony invitations</em></strong>?
    Posted by mdevette13[/QUOTE]

    I would like to know what you think is a good way to say this? There isnt one. End of story.
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  • mdevette13mdevette13 member
    First Comment
    Thanks to everyone who posted.  I will definitely use word of mouth rather than in writing.  Since our wedding will be small, that will be fairly easy to do. 
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  • megandjaymegandjay member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_monetary-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:cfa60a03-62ef-4d1f-b981-858b59eee402Post:6632908c-f8f3-401c-8cf9-ab988d0468b7">Re: Monetary Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nope.   And if you only want cash, you should not be having a shower. <strong> The whole point of a shower is to give physical gifts.</strong>   People are not stupid.  When they see that you haven't registered and are moving overseas, they will opt to give cash.  
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]


    This completely. No gifts = no shower.
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  • deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    First Comment
    no.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    No, there is no polite way to ask for gifts, whether monetary or otherwise.

    If you are having a shower, I would set up at least a small registry, since like PP's have said, people bring physical gifts to a shower. Or, you could politely decline having a shower if you're against a registry at all.

    Your guests will get it when they see a small/no registry and know that you're moving overseas. They'll give money anyways.


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  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_monetary-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:cfa60a03-62ef-4d1f-b981-858b59eee402Post:6632908c-f8f3-401c-8cf9-ab988d0468b7">Re: Monetary Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nope.   And if you only want cash, you should not be having a shower.  The whole point of a shower is to give physical gifts.   People are not stupid.  When they see that you haven't registered and are moving overseas, they will opt to give cash.  
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    Ta-daa
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  • Galaxy8227Galaxy8227
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_monetary-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:cfa60a03-62ef-4d1f-b981-858b59eee402Post:6632908c-f8f3-401c-8cf9-ab988d0468b7">Re: Monetary Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nope.   And if you only want cash, you should not be having a shower.  The whole point of a shower is to give physical gifts.   People are not stupid.  When they see that you haven't registered and are moving overseas, they will opt to give cash.  
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    This
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  • MacFreitas7MacFreitas7
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_monetary-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:cfa60a03-62ef-4d1f-b981-858b59eee402Post:0766496a-9074-431c-8844-78c9d75afed4">Re: Monetary Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Its definitely rude to outright ask for cash. Ditto PP that you shouldn't be having a shower if you don't want gifts...your guests will be buying you gifts for your shower...that's what they do. If you don't want presents, don't register for anything and maybe your guests will get the hint, but yeah, its rude to ask for money.
    Posted by caseyandlizzie[/QUOTE]

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  • phinewinephinewine
    First Comment
    Honestly I know you've taken alot of advice already however "WE" don't know what your family and friends are like...They may prefer to provide money (When my friends got married I just approached them with the offer to assist financially). Some people might rather see you put their money to good use rather than registering for things you know you don't want and probably will attempt to return. This is something that should be discussed within your family as I view this as a family discussion. I wish you and your future husband good luck and safe travels abroad!!!
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  • GracieWedsGracieWeds
    First Comment
    You knows a good solution? Setting up a regisry that allows you to set up a cash gift fund. I like MyRegistry.com, but there are other groups that allow this too. This way it looks like a typical registry, and you can even add some items that you might need abroad (luggage maybe?). And then your guests can use the service to send you cash if they like. If not then can make up their own mind and give you whatever you want. You aren't telling them to give you anything. Just like with a typical registry - you aren't demanding a new set a sheets, but just suggesting that if they want to give you a gift where they can do so. 

    If you don't register you gotta prepare for a lot of "junk" gifts. Sorry - its just the way it is. 
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  • megandjaymegandjay member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_monetary-gifts-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:cfa60a03-62ef-4d1f-b981-858b59eee402Post:c9c984ea-a834-4c1e-b2e0-ce16e9dcb7f5">Re: Monetary Gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]You knows a good solution? Setting up a regisry that allows you to set up a cash gift fund. I like MyRegistry.com, but there are other groups that allow this too. This way it looks like a typical registry, and you can even add some items that you might need abroad (luggage maybe?). And then your guests can use the service to send you cash if they like. If not then can make up their own mind and give you whatever you want. You aren't telling them to give you anything. Just like with a typical registry - you aren't demanding a new set a sheets, but just suggesting that if they want to give you a gift where they can do so.  If you don't register you gotta prepare for a lot of "junk" gifts. Sorry - its just the way it is. 
    Posted by GracieWeds[/QUOTE]

    This is a TERRIBLE idea, you are trying to trick your guests into thinking they are buying you something? Ugh, how is this different from asking for money? This is asking for money! Seriously. No you aren't demanding new sheets, you are demanding cash! Gross, gross, gross.
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  • GracieWedsGracieWeds
    First Comment
    Excuse me megandjay there is no trickery involved, it's just a matter of preference. Some people would prefer sheets, kitchen equipment, etc. While others would prefer cash. There is no demanding it - its just a suggestion. It is NO different than a regular registry. 
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