Pre-wedding Parties

Wedding Shower or Bridal Shower??

Random thought after having so many weddings to attend this year... why most called "bridal showers" and not "wedding showers" and tend to be all about the bride most of the time? It takes two to get married and I couldn't imagine my FI not being there. After all, most of the guests are HIS family and the gifts are HIS also.

The last 2 showers I went to the FI came after dinner and just opened gifts with the bride. To me that seemed rude like "you can't mingle and have dinner but you can't wait to tear open your gifts"?

I'm not saying this is wrong, I guess I just don't understand it. My grandma said it used to always just be a day to pamper the bride but to me, that is a bachelorette party.

All opinions and what you are doing for yours is welcome. Thanks =)
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Re: Wedding Shower or Bridal Shower??

  • lizstill13lizstill13 member
    edited December 2011
    Can you really picture any self-respecting man to mingle with his friend while eating tiny sized food while sipping cocktails and then oohing and aahing over a bunch of presents? That's why it's a girl's thing. People do have "Jack and Jill" showers or couples showers that are more parties with presents, but the point of a bridal shower is to shower the bride with gifts (probably goes back to the bride having a dowry provided by her parents when she was married off because she went straight from her parent's home to her husband's home)

    And the guy showing up the end makes sense because the shower is all about the girls and why shoud he suffer through that. He's there to say thank you for all the gifts, not tear them all open with no regard for anyone else. He's trying to be nice, not gift grabby.
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Showers originated in a time period when dowries were necessary.  If a bride's father/family refused to pay the dowry, many other people stepped in to "shower" the bride with gifts so she could get married anyway.

    That tradition grew into showers that provided the bride with things to set up her home since she was moving from her parent's home into her marriage home.

    Now they're just gift giving parties that can include men (couple's showers) or just a woman.
  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    For me and everyone I know, the shower (whether you call it a Bridal Shower or Wedding Shower) is for the bride.  It's all women in attendance, it's pretty, there are cheesy games, and the bride is showered with gifts to set up her married home.  Men don't come, and really don't want to.

    If you aren't comfortable with that, you could have a co-ed Wedding Shower and invite men and women and skip the games. 
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  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I've always thought of bridal showers to be for the bride and her female friends and family members. It's for all the ladies to get together eat, drink girly drinks, maybe play some silly games, and for the bride to open her gifts while everyone oohs and ahhs over them. 

    Wedding showers are becoming more common where the groom is also involved and it's a co-ed party, but I'm looking forward to my shower and spending time with all the women who are important in my life. FI will show up at the end to see everyone and thank them for everything. 
  • lilcasserslilcassers member
    edited December 2011
    Three ladies I know didn't have a co-ed shower, but the FH still came and greeted all the women and had fun. So yes, I do know guys who enjoy being at the shower with their women.
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  • lcsa99lcsa99 member
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the PPs that Wedding shower is typically about the couple and he should be there and Bridal shower is about the bride but honestly, as long as he is comfortable with it I see no reason for him to be excluded from any party but the bachelorette. I know that's a double negative but I hope you get what I am trying to say.

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