Back in my wee little newb days, I posted about not inviting my MOH's mother (we'll call her X) to the wedding. MOH is my first cousin (our dads are brothers) and my mom was married to MOH's dad before she was married to my dad. This has never been a problem for anyone, except X (my mom's ex H's second wife, who he is no longer married to). X and my mom have never gotten along and X has said some really terrible stuff about both of my parents, my brother and me, behind our backs. I could give examples til I'm blue in the face, but suffice it to say that there's animosity between my immediate family and MOH's mom. My mom made is very clear that she didn't want to invite X. So I obviously didn't sent X an invitation. And I didn't include a + 1 on my uncle's invite, as he is not currently in a relationship and will know 3/4 of the guestlist, but mainly to avoid him bringing X with him. My uncle (MOH's dad) has a tendency to "date" X even though they've been divorced for 4 years now. He brings her to family functions and whatnot. And that's fine when it's not a family function my family is hosting. Everyone's always been civil and my mom's been really laid back about the entire wedding and this was really the only detail she was adamant about. So I get a text just now from MOH saying that her dad is bringing X. I called my dad and asked him to please handle it.
I have NEVER said a cross word about X to MOH, except the one time when MOH asked me if I hated her mother and why. I told her the truth because she asked me directly. We never talked about it again. Anyway, I can't get in the middle of this. I don't want to hurt MOH by telling her my mother can't stand to be in the same room with her mother, I don't want to hurt uncle because he's been like a second father to me my whole life. I'm scared that X's being there is gonna put a kink in my mom's happiness on the wedding day. She didn't ask for ANYTHING except this one person to not be there, and I did my best to accomplish that, but it looks like it's happening anyway. My dad is a fantastic mediator, so hopefully he'll be able to sort this out. I told him to say whatever was necessary to make my mom ok with it, or to get uncle to get a different date, or not bring anyone. Just do whatever he thought best.
I keep thinking about things I've said to posters in the past about family members who didn't get along both being at the wedding. I know I've told people that their family members should love them enough to be able to be civil to one another for one day. I sincerely hope that's the case here. Please tell me that this will not be a big deal and that everyone will be fine day of and that we won't have a Jerry Springer type brawl at a plantation.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince