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How did you know HE was the one??


Re: How did you know HE was the one??

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    I knew he was the one the first time we kissed.  It was one of those melt my heart fall to my knees kiss.  Everything was absolutely 100% perfect about it and him! We met on eHarmony and after only 9 days of sending emails back and forth and really getting to know each other, we communicated through video chat and he bought me a ticket to be up to see him the next day.  When I saw him for the first time I had only first known of his existence 11 days earlier! On the second day that I was with him he kissed me and as I said, it was just the most perfect thing ever.

    Aside from the moment I knew, I KNOW that he is the one because I am willing to relinquish so much of myself for him.  I wanted to kiss him so badly when I first saw him, and with any one else I would have, but for him, I felt that I wanted to wait and LET him kiss me first.  I am pretty forward generally, but with him, I wanted to let him be the MAN.  I let down my overpowering nature and allowed him to take the reins.  We were walking around NYC together our first night together and we were looking for the tree in Rockefeller center. My nature is to find it myself- I am impatient and don't understand sitting around watching other people try and figure things out when I can do it myself easier and faster- but with him, I didn't care that he wanted to try and difficultly figure it out on his phone because he didn't want to ask for directions.  I just kind of laughed and let him do his thing.  I also KNOW because for the first time in my life I'm willing to put my career aside for someone.  I've always been very selfish and career driven, but with him, I am willing to do anything.  I have never been more selfless in my life and I have never been happier! :)

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    I have heard stories of walkiing into a room, you see them across the hall, sparks begin to fly, etc...
    For me, however, it wasn't like that. We started dating in high school and I can honestly say that he kinda grew on me. I am marrying my best friend.
    No relationship is perfect. You have to work at it. At times, we fight but we can meet each other in the middle for the most part. You just have to find that common ground.
    Hope this helps!

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    I love all thes stories, and want to share my cheesy anecdote...

    With him,  I felt like I could finally exhale.  From the very beginning, it was so easy to be around him, so relaxing, so safe, and just felt right.  It really felt like coming home.  Lame, right?  But I sure am happy. 

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    When he was pretty much willing to work through any of my baggage from previous relationships, and I through his.  He didn't run the instant I got a little emotional, he treated me with respect and calmly heard me out whenever I had a problem.  He treats evenly the "lowly" people as equals and I see that as special.  I knew he was for me and I for him when I could be totally honest and open with him and could tell he was doing the same for me.
    As my fiance is fond of saying, "Just Relax....."
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    He's just always been the right guy for me. There wasn't a "moment" that I knew, it just built up. Our first marriage discussion took me by surprise because it was so early on, but it felt so natural. Maybe that's kind of when I knew. We just agree on the same major issues that are important to us. We don't really argue about anything and when we do it's more a mature discussion than anything. I feel 100% safe and comfortable with him and I have from the beginning. He's seen me sick, drunk, crampy, whiny, and teary and still tells me I'm beautiful. He's just perfect for me :)
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    Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
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    oo good question! i knew he was the one because i could just feel it. we are completely alike & half opposite so we have our differences yes but we also have very similar taste & ideas on things & similar life experiences that are important to us to have in another person. i'm more of a free spirit than he so in the past i've loved other people very much but i don't have that sort of restless wandering feeling i did with everyone else. i've almost always had feelings for more than one person at a time & i usually prefer open relationships but for some reason i can see myself with only him forever! 

    op i can understand your concern on that topic.. because in parenting you should be unified but if you disagree it's hard to do. so i think it depends on what your views are & if they are adjustable to the other's or if you can compromise etc. 

    what are each of your views? some are a little different & adaptable but some are extremely different or just wrong & may not be. we have a daughter together & our views differ as well but they are able to be worked through. 
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    Well, he was spectacular from the beginning.  I'm a pushover, and always had crappy boyfriends that would basically use me.  When we started dating I had an "a-ha" moment like "THIS is what a relationship is supposed to be like!"  My mom LOVED him (and still does...), and he has SO many little quirks that my dad also has.  Like he makes the same lame jokes, quotes the same things, etc. etc.  It's kind of scary, really.  Anyway, he told me he loved me really early on (like a few weeks of dating), and I was a little freaked out because that's kind of weird.  When I asked him about it, he said he really knew he loved me.  He said just before we started dating, he prayed that he would find someone for him.  He was sort of going through a depression because his roommate and best friend was getting married and he hadn't had a girlfriend for like a year.  Anyway, apparently I had every single quality he had prayed for, so he knew without a doubt I was the one.

    The list goes on!  He is wonderful!  If you really can't work through your issues, it is NOT a huge deal to postpone the wedding.  I know it sounds horrible and would be embarrassing, but is SOOOOOOO much better than deciding you can't work it out AFTER the wedding.  Seriously!  Good luck!
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    I keep you with me in my heart, you make it easier when life gets hard.
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    I just....sort of knew. We got together in high school and we just planned on being together. He went into the Marine Corps and I was with him the whole way, wrote him every day in bootcamp, etc. But even before then we were in love and wanted to be together forever.

    We eventually broke up. I still loved him even though all we did was fight, we just couldn't get along.

    We were apart eight months and even dated other people. But the whole time I knew I didn't want to live my life without him.

    So I think I always knew, I just never knew why and I can't really pinpoint a moment.
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    You know, it's weird how my fiance and I ended up together because he was my brother's best friend and well he was always hanging out at my house and I never thought of him as a man. He was still a kid to me--I'm a bit older than he is. When he casually asked me to teach him how to dance and I finally called him one day to do it (never thinking that this was a date), I felt so good in his arms and he smelled so good.

    The reason why I know he is the one is because my dad is a very traditional and was very bothered when Omar and I went on vacation to Costa Rica together. He just knew we slept together and in one drunken spell asked Omar if he had slept with me or not and when Omar said yes, my dad wanted to fight him. He calmed down but it was awesome to me that he was man enough to face my father and let him know that he loved me. Also, when we  came back from that trip, I just couldn't handle being away from Omar and waking up without him every morning.

    We don't have big fights but we do argue a lot.  To me, Omar's the one because no matter how mad I am at him, I can't stay mad because as soon as I see him, all the anger melts away and he makes me laugh like no one else. Even during those mishaps when we are supposed to be having *sexy* moments.
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    For us it was because we couldn't stand to be apart!  Even now after being married for 17years!!!  (yep renewing vows on December 24th, 2012-our 20th anniversary-ha ha it will actually be our first wedding!)
    We give each other our space and independance-and hardly ever argue.  We have 4 great kids, 18, 16, 15 & 11.
    He is my best friend in the whole world and we tell each other everything, we don't hold back even when we are mad.

    When I think back to when I was dating and holding out trying to make miserable relationships work it seems so silly.  I remember when I was about 19 I was dating a new guy practically every week, and my grandma was like "why don't you date someone for more than a couple of weeks-your never going to find anyone!"  so I think in the beginning I stayed in relationships I didn't want to be in thinking I wasn't giving it a chance-THEN I REALIZED-WTH? If I don't like them now, I'm not going to like them any more in a month or a year!  So I sorted through dozens and dozens of them till I got the right one!  ha ha!

    He is hard working, loves doing things with his kids, they adore him (and drive him crazy calling him all day asking if he can do this with them or if he can do that with them:) adores me and lets me boss him around (which I really like) Having a strong relationship really makes all the other things life throws you much easier!

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    My FI and I were set up my mutual friends.  We had met once before, at a party hosted by the same friends about 3 years earlier, and had hit it off right away.  There are pictures of us from that party in which you can see that we are deeply enraptured in each other.  But the party ended with us not getting to say good bye (I got whisked away on an emergency with a friend) and we never saw each other again.  THat is, until our friends decided to deliberately set us up.  We met at a coffee shop just to keep it casual, it case things bombed.  Instead we closed down that coffee shop and drove to another one, and kept talking until we closed that one down too.

    I always heard that when you meet the one, you just know, but I never believed it.  I had been in a long term relationship before (lived together) and thought that all relationships were like that one--that you have enough common interests and can talk easily and get along for the most part, so you just have to make the other stuff and the romance work by putting in hard work and effort to stay in love.  I was never more wrong about anything.  My Fi's and I's romance was sweet and electric from the word "go."  We never have to "work" to get along or like eachother.  We share the same basic principles and life vision, but have vastly different expression styles, and it all works beautifully because he's my sweetie.  The little stuff that usually bothers me is nothing with him.  It's just -easy-.

    As far as WHEN and HOW I knew he was the one . . . Well, it wasn't as immediate as that first date, even though that went really well.  I knew from that first date that there was something very real and potentially forever there, and I FELT that he was the one.  But I am a cautious (and formerly cynical) person, and it took the next couple months of watching to see how things developed after the "first flush" before I knew in my head as well as my heart that I would never go out on a first date again.  My friends all predicted our marriage from the first few weeks of our relationship, and by our first anniversary there was no doubt in my mind that he was the one.  He proposed on our second anniversary!

    The best advice I can give is that if you have not had a once-in-a-life-time, so-solid-there's-no-doubt feeling rooted deep in your being that this man is your life partner, wait and watch for a while.  I know that experience happens at different times for different people, and some people have good marriages without the earth-shattering experience.  But after feeling it for myself, I would advise anyone to wait until they do!  It's like that movie, "The Matrix"  you don't know what it's like until you've actually experienced the other side, but once you do, you'll what everyone else has been telling you about for your whole life.
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    In Response to <a href="">Re: How did you know HE was the one??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love all thes stories, and want to share my cheesy anecdote... With him,  I felt like I could finally exhale.  From the very beginning, it was so easy to be around him, so relaxing, so safe, and just felt right.  It really felt like coming home.  Lame, right?  But I sure am happy. 
    Posted by kkpantzlaff[/QUOTE]

    I love this!  I used to be so cynical and thought I wasn't a romantic at all.  It hought everyone who had cheesy sentiments was making it up for show.  I had even yelled at guys for bringing me flowers and told them to cut the romantic-posing crap.  But I had jsut never really been truly in love!
    Now, with my FI, all my soft sides come out.  My nickname in highschool was Femme-Nazi and I was president of the debate team (I'm a nerd, I know!).  I was the girl no one ever expected to get married, and if I ever did, they'd expect it to be in a pant suit!  Now I'm getting married in the most romantic, soft, sweet dress, and it reflects all the sides of myself that I can trule express with him.

    I used to have my gaurd up all the time.  Now I feel safe.  Like I found the home I didn't know I'd lost.

    I love your line about finally being able to exhale.  That's totally what it's like!!!  By the time we're married, we will have been together for 3 years, but I still jump up every envening when I hear the garage door opening and I run to the door to greet him with a hug, and we always just hug each other and let out the first long breath of the whole day.


    I've totally turned into one of those crazy in love people with all these romantic sentiments!
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    In Response to <a href="">Re: How did you know HE was the one??</a>:
    [QUOTE]For us it was because we couldn't stand to be apart!  Even now after being married for 17years!!!  (yep renewing vows on December 24th, 2012-our 20th anniversary-ha ha it will actually be our first wedding!) We give each other our space and independance-and hardly ever argue.  We have 4 great kids, 18, 16, 15 & 11. He is my best friend in the whole world and we tell each other everything, we don't hold back even when we are mad.
    Posted by goldilockslovespolkadots[/QUOTE]

    I love hearing that it really DOES last forever!  Both my Fi and I are from broken homes and we have NO good marriage role models on EITHER side of the family!  Knowing that the real thing lasts lifts my spirits!
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    lyricweaverlyricweaver member
    First Comment
    edited February 2010
    I agree with a few here: I don’t really believe in one and only one soul mate, but I do believe there are a handful of people you can be super-happy with.  I’ve been in a couple relationships before that fell flat, and even though it was a good thing in the long run, it sure made me put my guard up.  I told myself I wouldn’t be with anyone for a year or two.  I just didn’t feel the need to be in a relationship.  Then He came along… J 

    We met through work and became good friends, laughing and just generally having a good time together, in and outside the workplace.  After we’d spent several months hanging out casually and enjoying each others’ company, he pursued me a bit and sent me flowers with sweet notes and poems.  Stubborn-me resisted his advances for a while: I was so scared to get involved with someone.  I even told him not to call me (as nice as I could!) when he began to ask me about what was going on between us (it was obvious there was an attraction there).  I remember a time when we hugged goodbye and his face brushed my hair as he pulled away: he said my name and I could feel a kiss or terms of endearment coming on, so I quickly said ‘bye’ and ran into my apartment!  Amazingly, we maintained a friendship throughout all this and he tried to give me time, but I guess something told him to keep trying. 

    Then, around New Years 2007, we went out to watch fireworks in downtown and then spent the rest of the night just talking about everything.  I think it was then that I realized there was something worth exploring with him.  Despite my fears, I couldn’t help myself.  So we started dating!  I knew I loved being around him and felt comfortable and relaxed, but what really convinced me he was a keeper was his attitude.  He is so levelheaded and real, one of those people anyone can go to for help and advice.  He wears his heart on his sleeve and isn’t afraid to be vulnerable as a man.  He really knows who he is.  He treats everyone wonderfully and his nieces love him.  Even when we disagree and occasionally don’t understand each other, I always find myself loving him so much anyway (so sappy, but it’s true).  He continues to intrigue and inspire me.  We've been dating for over three years but I still jump on him and hug him madly every day after work.  I can honestly say I could live without him, but I certainly wouldn’t want to, which is why I said ‘yes’! J
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