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Ahh. Crunch time sucks. There's no way around it. People - especially those who don't travel much - won't have planned properly and so have no realistic idea of the cost. I think, unfortunately, that's just part and parcel of a DW. It's one of those trade-offs we make for getting married in one of the most beautiful places on earth.
If you haven't checked him out - there's a TA on Oahu named Daryll Wong. Eacerna used him and he got all sorts of deals for her guests. Maybe get her to get in touch with him?
Also, most of our guests booked tickets in March, which is when the deals seemed to be the best.