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after party question

whitneyreinhartwhitneyreinhart member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
hello!

my fiance and i are planning a small ceremony and full dinner for our 60 closest family and friends.

we want to celbrate with everyone, so we are thinking of having a private party the night after at a rented penthouse.  this would be open to all of our friends and family. 

how can we handle the bar tab?  would it be acceptable to offer beer/wine free and have cocktails be no-host?  what if we indicated cash bar on the invite but also reqested no gifts?

we are keeping the wedding small for financial reasons, but we know lots of people want to skip the ceremony and just attend a party. 

thanks for your thoughts!

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Re: after party question

  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    If your guests like to drink you should try to provide SOMETHING. Beer and wine are perfectly fine, no need to provide hard liquor as well if you can't afford it.

    It's never proper to write anything about gifts on an invitation, including "no gifts." You could not register if you'd like, but since gifts aren't required, they really don't have anything to do with whether or not someone spends money on their own drinks.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    If this is the route you are going to go with, then do beer, wine , and maybe a signature drink.  I would be pretty bummed if I wasn't good enough to be invited to the ceremony or dinner, and then was invited to a party where I had to buy my own drinks.  IMO if you are hosting a party you should supply the drinks. 

    If you are going to be doing a cash bar, you are better off just going to a local bar after and you can tell people very informally (like via facebook informal or something) that you will be enjoying cocktails at X bar after the wedding.  
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  • georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    5000 Comments
    I would just host beer and wine and not even have liquor as an option.


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  • frenchy730frenchy730 member
    500 Comments
    edited August 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_after-party-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cda7358d-c42f-46fb-98d8-ebf6bd49654cPost:0366ef24-cee4-4840-861a-7dc9b6e4d31d">Re: after party question</a>:
    [QUOTE]  If you are going to be doing a cash bar, you are better off just going to a local bar after and you can tell people very informally (like via facebook informal or something) that you will be enjoying cocktails at X bar after the wedding.  
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
    This.
    Don't send out invitations.  Just call people, spread via word-of-mouth that you will be at X place at X time for celebratory drinks if they would like to join.
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  • whitneyreinhartwhitneyreinhart member
    First Comment
    all good points.  thanks ladies!  if only i had a million dollars, this could be so easy!  Smile
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