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Bridesmaid issues

ANWHouseANWHouse
in Moms and Maids
So I have a bridesmaid who is being difficult. She's said how she'll wear anything bc its my wedding and when i mention yellow dresses, she flipped out and told me she could NOT wear yellow and i said ok, and she is wearing the blue. And she has repeatedly called me bridezilla, when I've told her, politely that it bothers me as well as it being not true as I've pretty much based everything on their preferences. She hasn't been supoortive or helpful and I have no idea what to do! 
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Re: Bridesmaid issues

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    Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:ff385a99-1ca3-479e-bbd8-41aa1cf89df3Post:013a0dcb-f9c2-4865-ac7a-358b11314ade">Re: Bridesmaid issues</a>:
    [QUOTE]Let her get her dress, and show up for the wedding. Don't ask her to do anything else, and stop sharing any other plans with her. Minimize contact until the wedding, and you won't get more frustrations. Your wedding is just a few months away. Let it go.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    This!
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    mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ff385a99-1ca3-479e-bbd8-41aa1cf89df3Post:013a0dcb-f9c2-4865-ac7a-358b11314ade">Re: Bridesmaid issues</a>:
    [QUOTE]Let her get her dress, and show up for the wedding. Don't ask her to do anything else, and stop sharing any other plans with her. Minimize contact until the wedding, and you won't get more frustrations. Your wedding is just a few months away. Let it go.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.</div>
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    jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yellow is a terrible color on me, it is not the easiest color for everyone to wear.
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    budde022budde022 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i understand how you feel. i have a FSIL that is a bridesmaid, which i really only picked because i felt like i had to. She has been the bigest pain through out the whole thing. She always wants to know what is going on, then she complains about things, I have tried to stop talking to her about it. I definitly don't offer up any information but i can't exactly ignore her if she asks questions. when i picked out the BM dresses i had asked all of my BM to come with so they were comfortable with the style, color, and price. I picked several dresses they picked some dresses and we all decided on one. Well she didn't show up to that. She had to rush order her dress because she waited until after the dead line to order it (because she said it was too expensive, even though the other FSIL had her wedding last summer and it was all the same price), now she is telling people she is going to sell it as soon as the wedding is over because she hates it.
    it is really hard to deal with this kind of things i understand. but the best thing for you to do is just shake it off. if she is like my FSIL she is going to complain about things no matter what. you can go completly out of your way to do something helpful to her and it will turn into a big issue. just do your think and try your best not to let her bother you. remember it is you and your FI wedding not hers.
    (sorry that was long)
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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I kinda feel like I disagree with a lot of the PPs on this one. I'm assuming that you asked this girl to be in your WP because you're a good friend of hers... you shouldn't have to minimize contact with her. However, minimizing talking about the wedding would probably be a good thing. Obviously she's not very supportive when it comes to wedding things, and she's bent on making you feel bad about them, so I just wouldn't talk to her about the wedding at all. Talk about the things you talked to her about before you got engaged, hang out with her, and only mention the wedding when absolutely necessary.

    She doesn't have to be supportive or come to a bunch of things, but neither should she be degrading; so if she keeps up the name-calling I would tell her that it really hurts your feelings and also makes you angry (esp if you stop talking to her about wedding stuff at all). And then the next time she calls you that, if it's truly unjustified (as in, you haven't asked her to do anything for the wedding, you haven't been talking about the wedding, and it's just something like, "oh btw, on the day of we need to be at the church at 4:30pm" or "I'm getting my nails done here at this time if anyone wants to come!") then I would call her out on it and let her know that I'm upset at her name-calling - because that's what it is - and ask her not to do it again. and if she persists, then i'd probably get mad and leave her presence until she comes and apologizes.

    But in order for you to be justified in getting mad at her, you also have to not push all your wedding talk on her or demand her support. Still, that doesn't mean that you should be forced to minimize contact with someone who is supposed to be a good friend, or that you should have to put up with her name-calling.
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