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Wedding Etiquette Forum
evitiello
member
Money tree...
Me and my fiance just got our first apartment together and at that time we bought and received EVERYTHING we needed. Is it wrong to register for our honeymoon Or if we do a money tree, PLUS Me and my fiancee live away from all our family and we drive a VERY small 2 seater car. Also can grandmothers throw showers
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Re: Money tree...
No honeymoon registries, no money trees, and no dollar dances (unless it's a BIG custom in your family and guests are begging to have one).
Sorry, you'll have to figure out another way to pay for the honeymoon and new car.
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The Margarita Evolution
Honeymoon registries get mixed opinions. I don't like the idea that the company you register with normally keeps a percentage of the gifts, so you don't really get everything your guests want to give you. Cash is much easier.
As for grandmothers and showers. . . It wouldn't be my first choice. But, it's better than your mom doing so. If it's really limited to family, I think it would be fine. But if it's non family in attendance too. . . maybe less cool.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
Either don't register or register for that waffle maker you always wanted or to upgrade your hand mixer to a kitchen aid...
[QUOTE]Me and my fiancee just got our first apartment together and at that time we bought and received EVERYTHING we needed. Is it wrong to register for our honeymoon Or if we do a money tree, PLUS Me and my fiancee live away from all our family and we drive a VERY small 2 seater car. Also can grandmothers throw showers
Posted by evitiello[/QUOTE]
JIC
<ul><li>Please do not do a money tree. </li><li>If you need nothing physical, then it should not matter if grandmothers can throw showers. You should decline the shower if you don't want any gifts.</li></ul>
My Fat Chick Blog
[QUOTE]In Response to Money tree... : JIC Please do not do a money tree. If you need nothing physical, then it should not matter if grandmothers can throw showers. You should decline the shower if you don't want any gifts.
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]
Anna- how did I not even think this.
Why do you need a shower if you don't need any physical gifts? You wanto have a shower for people to hand you cash? no, no, no.
[QUOTE]What is a money tree?
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
Cew: It's a wire frame of a tree that is a place for people to attach their monetary gifts to.
I find them disgusting
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My Fat Chick Blog
[QUOTE]I understand!! we will have to figure out something, I meant our car was too small to hold gifts. its a 2 seater sportscar...we dont need a new one lol. my family is very small and i live far away from most of my childhood friends so it would be an intimate shower.
Posted by evitiello[/QUOTE]
But you said you have everything you need.
My Fat Chick Blog
Honeymoon registries get mixed reviews. While they sound good in principle, the company that set them up usually gets a cut of the proceeds which bothers me. You better be planning on doing the honeymoon regardless of how much is given in the honeymoon registry, because otherwise the gift is wasted and not used as it was intended to. I'd just have your family and wedding party spread word that you'd prefer cash. Don't tell people yourself.
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[QUOTE]Me and my fiance just got our first apartment together and at that time we bought and received EVERYTHING we needed. Is it wrong to register for our honeymoon Or if we do a money tree, PLUS Me and my fiancee live away from all our family and we drive a VERY small 2 seater car. Also can grandmothers throw showers
Posted by evitiello[/QUOTE]
There are mixed opinions on HM registries. Some people like them, and some people don't. The biggest argument against them is that a lot of the registries charge user fees to your guests. Also, people may register to buy you certain things or experiences, but with many of them, the guests aren't actually buying these things - the couple is simply cut a check at the end of the day. You would be better off simply spreading via word of mouth that you are trying to save money for your honeymoon and would prefer $. Make sure that you do a small physical registry, as some people simply do not like giving monetary gifts. This way you avoid random gifts.
If you do not register, though, you should decline a shower. Those are meant to "shower" the bride with gifts. If you're asking for cash, there isn't a point to having a shower - opening a bunch of cards with money in front of a bunch of people is tacky and rude. This goes double if you're talking about displaying there money out in the open (money tree)
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[QUOTE]My family as well as his is determined to have one and will not let me decline. It is a family thing and they see it important. They want to do the disney honeymoon registry (currently used by over 300,000 couples) but it seems to be hard to operate for many less computer savy people
Posted by evitiello[/QUOTE]
Not to be a bitch, but this is your wedding isn't it? Not your family's?
My Fat Chick Blog
If they MUST throw you a shower, register for some real tangible items and see if you can enlist the help of some family members to get the gifts back to your home.
Beyond that - NO MONEY TREE. NO.
My best advice now is to learn "No thank you" well. It sounds like family wants to do what they want, not what you want.
If you really don't want any physical gifts, then decline the shower. Or you could accept the shower and register for nicer versions of what you do have.
And since when do the guests get to determine where and for what the couple registers for?
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[QUOTE]Actually to all the showers i have ever been to, its a plant or tree given to the couple by the host and evelopes and a pen is laid close to the tree, the guests put their gift in the envelope as well a note or any wedding wishes for the newly weds and their name on it and tire it to the tree for the bride.
Posted by evitiello[/QUOTE]
That doesn't make it sound any better.
My Fat Chick Blog
[QUOTE]Actually to all the showers i have ever been to, its a plant or tree given to the couple by the host and evelopes and a pen is laid close to the tree, the guests put their gift in the envelope as well a note or any wedding wishes for the newly weds and their name on it and tire it to the tree for the bride.
Posted by evitiello[/QUOTE]
If these things are commonly done in your circles, then they probably wouldn't offend your guests. However, it's still not something that is looked favorably on etiquette wise.
And if your family (and you) want to do a HM registry, then go ahead and do one. Just make sure that you do a physical registry as well, so your guests have options.
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Also, why even ask what we think if your mind has already been made up?
We did our HM at WDW, and they really push you to do the registry. We didn't. The choice on that is yours. You'll find very mixed opinions about that here.
You should decline the showers that are being offered if you have everything you need. You're not required to register for anything, you know.
And if they DO insist upon a shower and they're tying you down kicking and screaming, I recommend a trip to BB&B. Years after my wedding, I can find items I would like in there so I don't know how you can find nothing to reigster for.