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A sort of renewal...?

AzureKitsuneAzureKitsune member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
So, I have seen a few posts on this.. And I'm unsure of the reaction I am going to get, but I feel I should post this anyway. My husband and I were recently married in the local court house (for extremely personal reasons.) for a quick, cheap wedding. Not many people were invited and his family was a little hurt. However, we have wanted to plan a sort of "second wedding" that we know will be a vow renewal. We want to do the whole "wedding" thing with it, however. I know a bunch of people will tell us not to do it, but... You know, I dont know. His family knows it will be a renewal and so does mine, but they all know that it is going to be the 'actual' ceremony where everyone can go to instead of the small one we had to have. I dont go with the "well, you had your chance.." approach some people have -- if everyone involved KNOWS what is going on and AGREES to it, why shouldnt we? No one got us money or gifts for the first wedding, so it's not like we are going to make people feel like they have to gift double or anything.

But that is not my real reason for being here. My real reason is that I have never been to, seen or organized a 'real' wedding before and since I want my 'renewal' to be just like one, I have no idea how to go about it. We know what colors we want and that is about it... You see, I'm not keen on putting a "budget" out there yet. I dont know how much anything costs and I'd RATHER put together what I WANT, see how much it would cost for that, then BUDGET from there! Is there anyway to do it like THAT? Because we can save up for the next few years until we have the money we need, so that's also a reason I dont care for putting a budget up first.

Thanks<3
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Re: A sort of renewal...?

  • mfeo24mfeo24
    First Comment

    This board is mostly women who are getting MARRIED again after a previous ended. That is not your situation. Check with the etiquette board to see if they have any ideas for colors and a budget for your PPD.

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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm not keen on the doovers, which is what this is, but putting that aside, would you start looking at houses without an idea of what you could afford first? No? Then why do it with a wedding? The average wedding in the states costs 27,000. That's a lot of money, IMO. The cost of a wedding varies depending on where you live and waht you want. We can't give you any idea because we don't know your preferences. You have to decide what you can afford, what is important to you, what you want to leave out if something else that's more important to you is expensive. For example, I decided on NO flowers. But others would not even consider that, they would rather have no favors. If you have a full, open bar, the cost would vary between venues. Having only beer and wine would be less expensive. Only soft drinks would be cheaper still. I wonder, though, if you will have guests at all for your "vow renewal."
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    Handfast- ahem, but you see, this girl has never had a real wedding before, so your opinion doesn't matter, because your wedding was very similar to hers, and thus not real.  Unless, of course, you are referring to your first wedding, which I think was real, and was really a first wedding, since it was to a different man than the really second wedding, where you married someone else, but wasn't really real.  YKWIM? 

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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    And I got so confused about reality I forgot to answer.  This is not "sort of" a renewal, OP, it is really a renewal.  You DID have a real wedding, as you are now married.  And why, oh WHY for pete's sake are you asking this question to this board?  The costs for an encore bride are no different than any other bride, they depend on the choices you make. Your local board is the place that will know your local venues, florists, DJs, photographers, transportation, invitations, TOJ packets, pew bows,ribbon wands, OOT bags, butterfly releases, string quartets, fan programs, cake, favors, cake knives, toasting flutes, just married flip flops, BRIDE bikini underwear, and probably a few other incidentals that will make you feel like you had a real wedding. 

    (::shrugs:: I figured my wedding was real when I ended up married::)
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited July 2012
    If you ended up legally married it was a real wedding end of story - period.

    Vow renewals aren't for having a PPD or putting on a show for those who were "left out"; until recently they were reserved for milestone anniversaries, and were not a re-enactment of the wedding.  Most vow renewals have been small private affairs, and not just because they had a big wedding to begin with.

    That said what you are wanting is a vow renewal with all the wedding trimmings...  You should go to the etiquette board or your local board.  All brides to be know to set a budget first and then go from there... 

    Editted for spelling. 
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    You are correct, right1. I didn't have a real wedding since it was just the two of us on the beach. How much should I spend on my PPD? How do I decide how much to spend? And btw, guess what is important to me so I can plan?
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I would guess that you would like high quality scottish whiskey, little doggies with short legs as guestbook attendants, and adorable little girls as bubble blowing bridal announcers. 
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  • AzureKitsuneAzureKitsune member
    First Comment
    Actually, yes, I would look at houses before having an idea of what I can spend, and I have done it. But, then again, I've only ever lived in apartments so maybe I dont know what I'm doing. But I like to know what I WANT, then the price of it, so I know what I'm aiming for, vs knowing what I can bring in, then looking in that range. I dont know. It sounds weird written down, but I can save for the next few years. So, typically, "price doesnt matter as much". Plus we look at foreclosed houses a lot. So maybe thats why it makes so much sense to me? Anyways I cant find the point in budgeting first. So far, much of his family and mine said they will go to the ceremony when we plan for it. So I dont know what you meant by "I wonder, though, if you will have guests at all for your "vow renewal.""

    Anyway.

    What is a local board? I knew I had posted this in the wrong area... But I can post my area and preferances for anyone who wants to help.. Or should I just move boards?
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  • mmmendimmmendi
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Local boards, to the left, will help search venues and resources in your state.
    ~~Mendi~~ ...Everyone has their price; mine's chocolate Photobucket
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Oh, my!
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  • AzureKitsuneAzureKitsune member
    First Comment
    what?
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