RSVP question.

shanaea87 · July 2012

My wedding is July 28th. I have received all of my rsvp cards back except from my two cousins. I contacted asking them if they would be able to make it or not. I let them know that I needed as close to specific numbers as possible because of seating, drinks, and catering purposes. They both have responded that if they can find a ride they will be there. It would not be such a big deal if not for the fact that between the two of them there is seven people.

...Would you just put them in with the total count and hope they show? Or what would you do?

MyUserName1 · July 2012

I'd contact them again and ask if they've found a ride yet. If they haven't say "I'll need to know by X date whether or not you can make it!" (With X being the last possible date). On X date, if they still haven't found a ride say 'We're sorry, we'll miss you there!"

dumdumfroggie · July 2012

Ditto Muni. 7 people is a lot to pay for if they are no-shows.

shanaea87 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-question-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d8169e4-9d92-4e42-9b3a-0f0bcf603f31Post:4c186d90-02c8-4f25-a387-6e3f6609c0ef">Re: RSVP question.</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd contact them again and ask if they've found a ride yet. If they haven't say "I'll need to know by X date whether or not you can make it!" (With X being the last possible date). On X date, if they still haven't found a ride say 'We're sorry, we'll miss you there!"
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

I let them both know that I needed to know by this Friday at the latest. Both of their responses were that if they could find a ride they would be there and that was the best they could tell me.

It's just frustrating because they are the type to show up regardless of what their response would have been.

dumdumfroggie · July 2012

I'd call them again on Friday then, and let them know that you'll be unable to accomodate them as you have to give your numbers to the caterer. (That is if they give you the same answer).

MyUserName1 · July 2012

Ditto Froggie. I wouldn't pay for seven people just in case they found a ride. That's ridiculous.

shanaea87 · July 2012

My fear is if they do show up and I didn't count them. It is a really low key event and there really won't be a way for me to know they are there until it is after the ceremony.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-question-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d8169e4-9d92-4e42-9b3a-0f0bcf603f31Post:c4303579-a666-4924-b562-cc1dc40f1878">Re: RSVP question.</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto Froggie. I wouldn't pay for seven people just in case they found a ride. That's ridiculous.
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

Fancypantsamy · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-question-12?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d8169e4-9d92-4e42-9b3a-0f0bcf603f31Post:0772d5e2-4f3e-406d-b136-06540ffbacf0">Re: RSVP question.</a>:
[QUOTE]My fear is if they do show up and I didn't count them. It is a really low key event and there really won't be a way for me to know they are there until it is after the ceremony. In Response to Re: RSVP question. :
Posted by shanaea87[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Are you assigning table numbers and making escort cards? I think it will be their problem that there is no seat for them/card/meal when one doesn't exist because you told them you were certain they weren't coming.</div><div>
</div><div>I mean, most caterers usually make a few extra meals as a just in case thing. Worst case scenario, they're all stuck together at a quickly set up table eating the spare meals, and maybe they'll think a little harder about RSVPing on time for the next family wedding. I'm irritated with them on your behalf. </div>

QueerFemme · July 2012

I would call them back and be completely honest with them. "Hey cousins, we have to provide a final count to the caterer right now. Have you secured a ride yet? If not, I need to mark you down as a "no" and we won't be able to accomodate you."

allychase · July 2012

That is soo annoying, I really hope I don't have to deal with that. Don't they understand it's not a backyard BBQ, you can't just "stop by", you either come and be paid for or you don't. DEFINITELY make it clear to them that if they don't respond by the date you said, there won't be any room for them. And you're sorry they can't make it.

RSVP question.

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