Alright, so, before I met my fiance, he was liked best-friends with his sister (and he had never dated anyone before). When we started dating, he wanted to spend every waking moment with me and stopped spending as much time with her. I have always encouraged him to make sure that he balances our time together with family time - I'm really close to my family, and family relationships are important. However, he never really made the effort.....and as I got to know his sister - and didn't like her - I was not too keen on spending time with her. I've continuously encouraged him to spend time with her without me (just because I don't like her doesn't mean he shouldn't spend time with his sister) but he doesn't like doing anything without me.
Anyways, a few weeks ago, his sister sent me an email - she is supposed to be a bridesmaid in our wedding, 2 months from now - and said that she does not support my fiance and I getting married and that she thinks her brother is making a mistake. She never explained why she felt this way, so my fiance and I invited her over so that we could talk and figure out where everything was coming from.
She said that she feels like her feelings don't matter to her brother anymore, and she doesn't understand why I am the priority in her brother's life. It sounds like she is looking for him to be her knight in shining armor, to be her protector - like she's looking for the emotional support that comes from a committed relationship - but he can't be that.....he is her brother, not her lover. It makes me uncomfortable. I've never tried to pull him away from his family, but his sister thinks that I am doing that, and that her brother isn't happy. She doesn't like how he has changed since he met me (he used to be everyone's doormat and I have always encouraged him to stand up for himself), and thinks that our marriage is doomed to fail. She said that she only wants to be a part of the wedding to support her brother, not to support us. She said it was my choice whether she stayed as a bridesmaid but she would not back out.
I am mad because I feel like she has put us in such an awkward position. Since that conversation, she has emailed again saying that she cannot support us and that she isn't going to try and get to know me, or try to accept me. She does not want to be a bridesmaid but won't step down. If I tell her that she doesn't need to be a bridesmaid, everyone in my fiance's family will get pissed at me and think that I was malicious and so on.
I'm at my wits end on how to deal with his sister. I want to be civil with her because she is my future-husband's sister, and family is so important to me. But she is making it really hard. Help?!