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Wedding location PROBLEM = tears and stress everyday!

EmTan19EmTan19 member
First Comment
in Wedding Woes
My fiance wants to have the wedding in the small town we live in. Its 2.5 hours away from where I am from which is a huge city. My parents who are paying for it say they dont mind where we have it but I know my mom would love for it to be in my home town because it would be easier for her. My fiance and I fight almost everyday because I cant make a decision. Which is right because I dont want to hurt anyones feelings especially my fiance's or my parents'. Its about $2000 more to do it in the city. But if we have it in the small town then both families have to travel and book hotels which there is only one good one in the small town. My mom isnt in the best health either and her being away from her home makes me worried. I am so torn I dont know who to make happy.
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Re: Wedding location PROBLEM = tears and stress everyday!

  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    if the two of you cannot manage to agree upon a location to have a party, how in the world do you expect to resolve any larger issues/questions that will come up in your marriage?

    what happens when someone has a serious health problem? loses their job? a large purchase must be made? relocation opportunity arises? you have children?
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Barbie.

    Also, where are you going to live after the wedding?
    image
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  • EmTan19EmTan19 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Both of our careers are in the small town we live. I know this problem seems miniscul compared to the other life decisions but I have always been this way...trying to please everyone. My family and my fiance have always gotten along great so this is extremely frustrating. As a groom to be he is probably one of the few that want to help with everything which is what I wanted but everyone keeps saying Its your day and its what you want but what I want is for my fiance and parents to be happy and I dont think its going to happen that way :(
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  • MinMMinM
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wedding-location-problem-tears-stress-everyday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:7de642b9-2c0e-4c58-96c7-596729c953a2Post:1f843b4f-5a90-4311-96ed-39d9d4a2d244">Wedding location PROBLEM = tears and stress everyday!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance wants to have the wedding in the small town we live in. Its 2.5 hours away from where I am from which is a huge city. My parents who are paying for it say they dont mind where we have it <strong>but I know my mom would love for it to be in my home town because it would be easier for her</strong>. My fiance and I fight almost everyday because I cant make a decision. Which is right because I dont want to hurt anyones feelings especially my fiance's or my parents'. Its about $2000 more to do it in the city. But if we have it in the small town then both families have to travel and book hotels which there is only one good one in the small town. My mom isnt in the best health either and her being away from her home makes me worried. I am so torn I dont know who to make happy.
    Posted by EmTan19[/QUOTE]

    Do you know this because she said something, or are you ASSuming? Until she says otherwise, I would go where your FI says he wants it and your parents say they don't mind the location. Don't create problems where there aren't any.
    image
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  • EmTan19EmTan19 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Her health isnt the best and she has told me herself and from being a momma's girl my whole life, I can just tell that the stress of having to do it 2.5 hours away, away from her own home and bed would take a tole on her. I know I would be worrying about her the day of my wedding. Thats just how her and I's relationship is.My fiance understands she is ill and If its in the city I know I wouldnt have to worry as much because she wouldnt be having to do as much of the work as we would have to do in the small town venue. the city banquet hall would set up and tear down everything. where as in the small town we do everything!

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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Two bits of advice for everything:

    1. You can't please everyone.

    2. Your FI/husband is your primary family. 
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  • StephBeanWed61502StephBeanWed61502 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wedding-location-problem-tears-stress-everyday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:7de642b9-2c0e-4c58-96c7-596729c953a2Post:97757f12-fb4e-4b4c-88d2-405449d9987c">Re: Wedding location PROBLEM = tears and stress everyday!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Two bits of advice for everything: 1. You can't please everyone. 2. Your FI/husband is your primary family. 
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

    Co-signed, me.  Especially #2. 
    imagemy to-read shelf:
    Steph's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (to-read shelf)
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  • MinMMinM
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What is a tole? Is it like a toll?
    image
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  • MNNEBrideMNNEBride member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2011
    This decision should not be causing stress and tears every day. 

    I asked where you will be living after the wedding because that is where you will be making your life together with your future husband.  He is your primary family now, as 6 said, and it's time to cut (or atleast loosen) the apron strings.  I think a good first step in that would be to have your wedding in the small town where you'll be living.  You will never be able to make everyone happy.  Your mom has told you she doesn't care where you have the wedding.  Take her at her word.
    image
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  • MinMMinM
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wedding-location-problem-tears-stress-everyday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:7de642b9-2c0e-4c58-96c7-596729c953a2Post:624236e5-462c-44d5-a7a9-69f41e15689f">Re: Wedding location PROBLEM = tears and stress everyday!</a>:
    [QUOTE]This decision should not be causing stress and tears every day.  I asked where you will be living after the wedding because that is where you will be making your life together with your future husband.  He is your primary family now, as 6 said, and it's time to cut (or atleast loosen) the apron strings.  I think a good first step in that would be to have your wedding in the small town where you'll be living.  You will never be able to make everyone happy.  Your mom has told you she doesn't care where you have the wedding.  <strong>Take her at her word.
    </strong>Posted by MNNEBride[/QUOTE]

    This.
    image
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