Wedding Woes

An update to yesterday's wtf post, and poll

From the thread with the husband's random 19 month old baby:"Ok, totally off topic, BUT since you MUST know... the girlfriend before me became pregnant about a month before we started dating.  We've been happily together for over two years now and just got married a couple of weeks ago.  Thanks."POLL:  Does this information make it better or worse than what you were imagining?
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Re: An update to yesterday's wtf post, and poll

  • edited December 2011
    kind of worse. think kfed.
  • **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, worse.
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  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's pretty much exactly what I was imagining. And I still think it's awful.
  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Actually, it makes me feel better.Unless I'm the only one here who broke up with someone and then slept with them again later b/c I wanted to get laid and knew it was an easy call.I guess some of it would depend on the ages of people involved at the time.  But if he was upfront and honest about having a kid from the beginning and she was okay with it, I don't really see the big deal.
  • edited December 2011
    if she's ok with it, that's one thing.but i will routinely give a side-eye to a man who leaves a woman he knocked up in order to shack up with someone else. 
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Oh, she's definitely ok with it.  I'm more giving a side-eye to a woman whose standards are so low that a guy who has a woman currently pregnant looks like an eligible bachelor.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Eh, I could see it.  He could have left before she even knew she was pregnant.
  • edited December 2011
    kat, it happens. My friend went to break up with his girlfriend and she told him she was pregnant. He was 12 types of ready to be done with her. Sleeping together/getting pregnant doesn't always mean they were shacking. I've never lived with 100% of the men I've had sex with.
    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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  • hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    :: sits with kuus, nodding ::
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  • DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I guess it depends on how serious the girlfriend was.  A K-fed situation would be more side-eye worthy than a random one-night stand from before he even met the now-wife.Hell, I had a ONS the weekend AFTER I met DH.  I did everything I could not to get knocked up, of course, but in the end there was some luck on my side there.

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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I guess I don't see why accidental pregnancy should be turned into ineligibility to date.  I mean, it's a guy with a kid, not a child molester or something.  Children are the product of sex, not love.  It's NICE when love it included, but that's not reality for a lot of kids out there.
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I think currently pregnant is a world of difference away from having a kid and having already worked out coparenting and child support and all the potential drama.
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  • edited December 2011
    maybe my current state of hungry is making me more judgy than i need to be.  still, i probably wouldn't find him date-able if he had a bun in the oven with another woman.
  • edited December 2011
    kat, i'm with you, but it's obvious that the rest of the world doesn't have the same standards. not that they should. someone had to marry that red headed harry potter chick.
  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Wz.  It's not something I'd want, but honestly, it sounds like it's dealt with, so if they're content with their situation I just don't see the issue.
  • edited December 2011
    Wz, how much time can he realistically spend with the new baby? Most new mothers don't want their infants out of their sight, let alone off at their 'baby daddy's' house with his new gf.
    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    "If they're content with the situation, then I don't see the issue"?  Whaaat?!  Where's the judginess?  Gaadamn, no wonder this board has been so slow.
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  • PMeg819PMeg819 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm judging. Dude knocks up a chick and a month later he's dating new woman? I know that the guy doesn't have an obligation to the new woman, but the baby but it's so hit it and quit it. And he just breaks up with other chick a month after sleeping with her and is ready for a new gf in that short time? I don't know, I judge. It sounds shady. I'm dependable like that. I judge everyone.
  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    God bless you, PMeg, you and hmonkey.  I don't know what I'd do without you.
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  • edited December 2011
    Wz-see, there isn't much to do with an infant. Could he take a few hours off and watch the kid while she has an appointment or just give her a bit of a break, yes. But how many guys do you know who would willingly go hang out with their kid at the mom's house? Uncomfortable all the way around. Even if he weren't dating someone new, there wouldn't be much for him to do. What's there to judge? He wasn't still dating the pregnant woman when he met new wife. Pregnant woman was just pregnant.  
    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    If she'd been bitching about random baby, maybe I would've judged b/c she PICKED to date dude with baby.  But she wasn't, she just answered everyone's question about WTF RANDOM BABY.I just think most of you judging are people who haven't really slept with more than one person or always had relationship sex.  Guy could've already been broken up with said girlfriend, maybe they had one last fling, and then he starts dating someone else and finds out 2 months later she's pregnant.There's just a lot of variables here and I feel like the people judging are all, OMG YOU HAD SEX AND GOT PREGNANT WITH SOMEONE YOU DIDN'T CARE ABOUT!!!???  Hot damn, welcome to the real world.
  • edited December 2011
    This sounds like an episode of The Game.
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  • edited December 2011
    Varuna, is it me or is Eminem looking way thin? I caught a glimpse of him while I was flipping through channels and his features looked sharper than normal.
    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    People do a lot of asinine things in the "real world" that should be judged more often and more harshly than they are.
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    It's not just you.  He was all fat and puffy looking before the album with drugs and then he got cut again.  But last time I saw him, he's just looking thin rather than built.Has you listened to the new Beastie Boys single yet?  I haven't previewed it, but Nas guests on it.  That's a pairing I like.
  • edited December 2011
    V, they just said something on Headline News about one of the Beastie Boys having cancer. I don't remember which one.
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  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I don't disagree.  But again, she wasn't bitching about the kid or the relevant baby daddy drama or child support or the visitation or the bastard sleeping with someone else before he met her or anything like that.  So, I just don't see anything judging worthy.I don't think getting pregnant out of wedlock and, apparently, both parents taking care of said child, judge worthy.  It's not a DESIRABLE situation, but it's not flammable, IMHO.
  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Adam.He has a tumor on his salivary gland.  He is suppose to have surgery to remove it and then all will be fine.  No mention of chemo or anything.This thread is becoming a trip.
  • edited December 2011
    Ok, just making sure I wasn't losing my mind. I thought it could be the makeup and lighting, but no. Dude is tres skinny.
    "I would be sad if sex was only about the climax, lame." Someone who is obviously doing it wrong
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