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Need Knottie Advice re: Invitation

SkyyBCSkyyBC
10 Comments
in Hawaii
Hey girls.  So I am currently plugging away at assembling my DIY invites.  They are turning out awesome!!  Surprisingly, the process has ben pretty seamless up through now.  Tedious, but seamless. Anyway, as I tape away, I am also simultaneously trying to get my FINAL (yay) guest list all formatted and ready for the mail merge.  SO, my question is...My FI and I have a couple we both consider friends.  Last week, the couple broke up.  We originally sent them one  save-the-date addressed to both of them at their shared address, which made sense at the time.  Now, we really don't know the proper way to deal with the situation.  They are both still technically at the same address, but the guy just left for a month-long language trip to Mexico.  The girl is still at their shared address.  It seems weird to send them one joint addressed invite, when we know they aren't together anymore and he isn't even staying at the apartment right now.  But it also seems weird to send two...especially since the girl will see each of their separates invites when they arrive in their mailbox.  Should I hunt down the guy's temporary address in Mexico?  I am just SO perplexed about this whole situation.   Aaarghh... why must people break up?  And what do I do about this?  Any advice?  This is the part of wedding planning I really don't like.  Random, itty, bitty details that you CAN'T AVOID!!  Sorry...that totally turned into a mini-rant. 
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Re: Need Knottie Advice re: Invitation

  • kwippykwippy member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would send them 2 separate invites esp if their post-break up communication is non-existent.  We have a similar situation except its a married couple with a child  and they are estranged and "live" at the same residence, read he lives somewhere else and collects his mail at the same house as his wife.  Since the two don't speak to each other, they would never even let the other know that there was even an invite for them, let alone arrive together.  It's kind of sticky, but personally I wouldn't want to be on the same invite as my recent ex, and youre being extremely thoughtful and considerate of their feelings by worrying about it.  Just my thoughts on the matter :)  Good luck :)
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  • peachmangopeachmango
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If they are both still invited, then I think 2 separate invites are needed.  If they weren't married, that's the etiquette anyways.  Did they break up on good terms?  Don't want any drama if both of them show up...
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  • kaeshakaesha
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'd probably try to hunt down his Mexican address - just so I could save her some pain.
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  • MrsNicole&Brian808MrsNicole&Brian808
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Alyson.  If the break-up wasn't amicable, the guy's invitation might get "misplaced".  GL!
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  • ginajadeginajade member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had the exact same situation - they own a home together, so they are stuck, but are definitely not together anymore, but booked their tickets before they broke up- Anyway, I am lazy and making my invitations took forever, so I just sent one to both of them and put their names on separate lines.  Whatever... haha... I mean, I wasn't going to let each of them bring their own guest, so I didn't think a separate invite was crucial.  If you are each letting them bring a new +1, then ya, you definitely need a separate invite.
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  • jujubee96jujubee96
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would send separate invites, and his to his technically correct address - i.e., she will see 2 invites in the mail I guess.  I personally don't think it's up to you to have to track down his Mexico address; they are all adults, she can handle seeing 2 invites in the mail.DH's groomswoman and her husband broke up right around the time of the wedding... the day she was leaving Hawaii, her husband called her and told her he wanted a divorce.  By the time she got home, her facebook status read: "___'s husband just told her he hates her and wants a divorce."  - Talk about awkward!  Good thing she is doing better now.  When things were more in the air with them before our wedding, I sent her husband an email re-iterating that we would love to have him there (situation was diff than yours because we had sent out invites before we knew about their troubles) - but only because she asked me to.
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  • ringobubblegirlringobubblegirl
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That is very awkward!  I would just give them separate invites, but you should wait until he comes back from Mexico to send him his (or send him a scanned version)....in case his invitation goes missing.  Hopefully their breakup was amicable and they can be civil during your wedding or they can decide if only one of them will go to avoid any awkardness. 
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  • SkyyBCSkyyBC
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the advice.  The invites went into the mail today.  Halleleujah!Anyway, we ended up mailing two separate invites to the same address.  I decided to let them figure out the details...B
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