Yet Again Another Bridal Party Change

pennstated912 · July 2009

After a whole fiasco of my cousins whom I chose as MOHs dropping out of the wedding (this is another whole really long story), I had to make some changes to my bridal party in Feb/Mar. I added my brother's girlfriend (he and her are getting engaged soon - but she's like a sister to me) as a bridesmaid. Since then, I have had just 4 BMs, no MOHs. I found out that our best man is going to make it home from Iraq in time for the wedding, giving my FI 5 GMs and me with 4 BMs. I decided that since he is going to be home that I really should pick a MOH. I asked my oldest sister to be MOH and she excitedly accepted.My FI asked me what I thought about adding another BM since his best man is going to be home. He suggested one of his GM's wife (whom I'm extremely close to and have been for the past two years). I like that idea, if I were to add anyone.I spoke with my mom about it today and she was really pushing for me to have my childhood friend in, instead. I understand. I've known this girl all of my life, but she's really a wild card sometimes in terms of her actions. I explained this to my mom and she told me to at least think about it. I'm not one to do everything my mom says (if you know anything about my back story, you know the drama with my mom), but she makes a point that this childhood friend would be really hurt if I chose a friend that I've only known a couple of years over her.Thoughts? Add no one, add GM's wife, or add childhood friend?I know this sounds so stupid and petty, but I feel like I'm being pulled in a bunch of directions.

Leah&Christian09 · July 2009

If something really cool happened to you (like getting engaged) who are the people that you would feel compelled to call right away? Those are the people that you should include. Your absolute closest friends. It doesn't sound like the childhood friend is very close, so I wouldn't ask her. As for the GM's wife, if you really are close, add her, but if you didn't think of her in the first place, probably not.Just b/c your FI has a BM doesn't mean you need a MOH. Sides don't need to be even or balance each other.

mbcdefg · July 2009

If you are truly close to someone and want to add them at this point in time, do it. If you're only thinking of adding them to make the sides even, and/or if you really have to struggle with deciding whether to include them, then don't. Just go on with who you have. I was going back and forth on whether to ask someone, and since I couldn't make a clear decision I decided not to ... and now I am INCREDIBLY happy that I didn't, for several reasons. You can always add people later on, but it makes it really awkward to add them earlier and then regret it. If you're not 100% sure you want them standing next to you at your wedding (again, because of FRIENDSHIP, not because of numbers), then play it safe and don't ask. A true friend will remain friends with you after your wedding, whether she's a BM or not.

pennstated912 · July 2009

Thanks for your advice. I like your analogy of "Who would I call if something awesome happened?"Now that I think about it, the GM's wife was the 2nd friend I called after calling my parents and grandparents. (Called my friend from NC first cause I promised her when I was 13, I would call her first whenever I got proposed to, haha).I only texted the childhood friend. Good advice.I think I'm going to just say, "Screw it" for my family's advice and ask GM's wife. The childhood friend was complaining to me the other day how far the wedding is from where she lives.

banana468 · July 2009

I love the, "Who would you call if something awesome happened?" analogy. IMO that's perfect.I personally don't find any issue in being an added attendant as long as the person isn't told, "You're a replacement." As PPs have said, sides don't need to be even however do keep in mind that with a large WP come more gifts to buy them and a large RD since you have to invite their sig others to the RD as well.

stoutcrowley · July 2009

You are 45 DAYS from getting married, I would leave the WP alone... Have you already send your invitations? Wouldn't that tip some people off that they were an after thought when they have already RSVP'ed as being a guest at your wedding? Have uneven sided- it does not matter...

deb84 · July 2009

Why would you add someone so late? I think it is very rude to ask bridesmaids at very different times. They IMO should all be asked within the same week or so or it looks like you added people at the last minute (which you are) and that would NOT be an honor.

Yet Again Another Bridal Party Change

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