New Hampshire

Co-MOH

Has anyone ever done a co-maid of honor?  I'm wondering if it's a good idea.  My sister lives in NJ and is planning her own wedding for November (mine is June of next year) and not sure if she'll have enough time (or be too stressed) to handle any bridal parties/bachlorette planning.  Should I ask her first before asking another one of my bridesmaids to step up?~Mary

Re: Co-MOH

  • edited December 2011
      Hi Mary I would def ask your sister first. Find out how she feels.Just be honest and tell her that its not that you dont think she can't do it - but like you said - you know shes got alot going on as well. She might appreciate it. Otherwise I am willing to bet she would get upset if you just did it without speaking to her first.Also, my MOH has had help with my shower and bachlorette party from my 3 other bridesmaids, so hopefully she can get enough help from them without having to be a Co-MOH.Good luck
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  • AmyLou09AmyLou09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would talk to her first just so you're both on the same page and she knows you're not demoting her or making her being MOH any less special.  One thing I learned in all this planning was that the stupid titles mean a LOT to the people occupying said titles.  I've never been in a wedding before so I guess I didnt realize that but feelings can very easily get hurt over a dumb title.  The moral of my story is, yes it's totally fine to have 2 maids of honors (I did) but I think you should do it because you have two people you love equally as much and want to share that role beside you and not just to help your MOH out.  Like PP said, your bridesmaids should be helping your MOH anyways!
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Amy - titles an a lot to people.I think what you need to consider is yes, if your sis is your MOH she will absolutely be focused on her OWN wedding for the next few months. (I'm assuming you mean November of this year) That is no reason to "demote" her or make her feel bad by adding a second MOH. Your BMs should and will step up to help her out. They don't need to be "promoted" to MOH #2 in order to help her. Also, while some bridal parties plan far in advance for the bach party and shower, etc . . . it's a little early to be worrying about that. AND if you tell them you are worried about your sis having time to plan your parties it makes you sound like an AW.
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  • edited December 2011
    I was a co-MOH for my best friend's wedding a year ago. I was not "insulted" in any way, nor did I feel slighted that I had to "share a title" with anyone. However, being a MOH is more than just planning a bachelorette party and bridal shower. There IS some sort of significance in that the person (or persons) who are designated as that are usually the closest to the bride. If you have another particular BM in mind who you feel you are equally as close to and would "deserve" the honor of standing by your side when you say your vows, then I don't see a reason why not to have co-MOHs. However, if your reasoning is more that you want more help for your parties, I don't know if I'd do it. I think it might be transparent to the BM you chose.
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