North Carolina
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vent....

let me just lay out the facts and then I'll get to my venting...1. My mom and stepdad, my FI and myself are paying for our wedding.2. We have the date, time, and venues all set in stone, contracts sign, blah blah blah...3. My parents have given us a budget and my FI and I are matching that, so we should be fine...because I want simple and we'll most likely have money left over from our budget.With that said, i'm pretty upset that my FIL aren't offering to help. We've tried to talk about the RD with them and they just keep changing the subject. They still havent congratualted us yet and all they want to talk about is my FSIL and her boyfriend, who have been together for 4 years and arent engaged, havent even talked about it. My FIL treat her BF like he is their son not my FI. It is really frustrating to me that they can just push aside their own blood for lake of better words "the son they never had".Let me make myself clear I'm not mad that they aren't shelling out any money, but I am mad that they come up with rude comments to say about my family, me, or my families money, or anything about our wedding when they arent doing a darn thing to help out.UGH!!!!!

Re: vent....

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    edited December 2011
    Yuck, Im sorry :(   I can kind of co-miserate there, I'm in the same boat as far as financials go. My parents are paying for a large chunk, as well as FI and I. If FI's parents really didnt have the money or something like that, that would be TOTALLY fine, but here's what gets me, they are looking to throw this absolutely over-the-top RD. They spent $5-$6K on FI's brother's RD 3 years ago. Yep. Open bar, sax player, the works. They want the same for us, and truthfully it's all about them throwing a freaking party, which is what they want. I tried to mention to FIL's that it would REALLY be nice if they would be willing to help pay for some of the wedding and just do a simpler RD instead, but they didnt want to hear it. I feel like we are having a pre-wedding the night before our wedding!! I feel like it's SUCH a waste, and here we are just having purchased a home, and spending money on a wedding, when we COULD have some help from his folks. Vent over.  
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    apfoster05apfoster05 member
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    edited December 2011
    haha yeah i understand that...I mean anything would help. $500 for the band or dj would be great you know take that presure off us...its just really frustrating when you feel like they really dont want you to get married...they treat me terribly
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    edited December 2011
    I can understand where you're coming from but a lot of families in the south are old school and therefore feel that the wedding is the bride's family's "financial burden" for lack of a better word. Granted, my family is unable to pay much, so we're paying for the majority (95%) and FI's family has offered to pay for the RD. What I find is that boys' parents tend not to worry about wedding details. They worry about their daughters. Don't be offended - it's just not on their mind. I tend to plan as if I'm taking care of everything and if someone steps up and offers to do more, then it's a bonus. Granted, you have the right to be mad, just don't let it get to you too bad. We're with ya!
    BabyFetus Ticker
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