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Need Advice from MOBs out there

tldhtldh member
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in Moms and Maids

I am my mom's only daughter.  She lives in Cincinnati and I'm just outside Philadelphia.  The wedding is here so she's been left out of almost all of the planning.  I made a point of getting my dress in Cincinnati and she is the only person I took shopping with me.  She also was there when SIL and I went shopping for her dress and mom got hers that day too.  I'm also wearing her veil and a picture of my parents and FI's parents on their wedding days will be used during the ceremony and at the reception.

We talk at least once a week and if something new has been done with the wedding I tell her about it.  I don't ask for her opinion anymore because the only suggestion she ever has is what she did at ther wedding, and a 1972 wedding is not one I'm in a rush to recreate. 

Is there anything you moms can think of that I can be doing that would let her be more involved?

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AKA GoodLuckBear14
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Re: Need Advice from MOBs out there

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    tldh:  It sounds like you're really making an effort, and I commend you for that.  I'm sure your mom has enjoyed what you've done with her so far.  I think keeping her "in the loop" is great.

    Is there something she could create and/or assemble for you?  DD's MIL tends to be really overbearing, so they had her make the programs and invitations.  (She's pretty computer savvy, and I don't know if your mom is.)

    But I guess I'd just continue to keep her in the loop.  Send her links to things you've decided:  pictures of your flowers, favors (could she make them?), cake, topper....all those little details.

    Sorry I don't have better advice.  But I think that's because I think you're terrific in what you've already done with your mom!
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Trix is right...if she appears happy and you don't feel tension, then you are probably doing the right thing.  If there is something you think she can take charge of...that would be great to ask her.  She may just be happy to be talking to you about everything and then being with you when the time comes!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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  • tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks moms!
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Have your mom come out to Philly a couple of times before the wedding, so she can see the venue, visit the florist and see sketches/photos, visit the photographer, sign contracts, whatever.  It's really not that far to drive from Cincinnati to Philly (less than 500 miles) and plane fares are amazingly cheap this summer.
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  • Catwoman708Catwoman708 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Involve her only in things she is interested in. Narrow down the choices to your top 3, and let her make the final decision. 

    If she is crafty, ask her to decorate a card box for you, or make favors based on some inspiration pictures you've sent her.

    Does she have an interest in food and wine?  Ask her to research several new types of wine, and give you some feedback on her favorites.  Or get her help finalizing the menu choices, or seating arrangements.

    Ask for suggestions on what hairstyles and jewelry go with your dress, what flowers go with your colors/style.

    Get her to help you get all the guests addresses updated and organized.  Or research some wedding ettiquette and protocols. 

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  • djoann958djoann958 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am a MOB. I live in PA and my daughter lives in Miami and is getting married there. I have flown down to go dress shopping with her and we did pick one out that day. The last time I went to visit, we went to the florist, to a bridal registry event, picked out some bridal jewelry, saw the church and venus they picked, etc. She came to PA with her fiance 2 weeks ago and we had the engagement party, picked out invitations, picked out BM dresses. I am going back down when her dress comes in and she is coming here in Sept to go MOB dress shopping with me. We talk on the phone alot, email alot, and even talk on the phone while we watch wedding shows!!!

    Even if the travel back and forth is not possible, you can still call her, ask her opinions, send emails, etc to stay in touch. My daughter will send me pictures of things she likes and pictures of the things she has bought (like her shoes). Even thought I am not with her, I am having so much fun. My wedding was in 1985 and you DON'T want to recreate that either. LOL. Maybe you could suggest wediding websites and message boards to get up to 2010 speed. Beware, they are addicting for MOBs. Good luck!
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