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North Carolina

a little family advice? (long)

So, FI and his dad have never really had the best of relationships since his parents divorced when he was little although he did try to make it work. (a very one-sided relationship) About 2 months ago, the you know what hit the fan, and he hasnt spoken to his dad at all. It was a pretty bad phone call with his dad calling him all sorts of mean names. :( We honestly think the cause of all of this is his Step-mom who is completely selfish and has never let his dad give him anything or do anything, and they both have a problem with alcohol. So basically this resulted in us taking his side of the family off the guest list because this is what FI wanted. Now, he says he would like to add at least his dad (which i told him you can't have one without the other) back on because he doesn't want something to happen and he have missed this important part of his life blah blah blah.. Which I totally think that is good. So my question is, do I need to add his step-sister, her SO, and 4 kids? We have never really been involved with them from the beginning, mainly just for family events and that sort of thing. I do worry about offending FI's step-mom because she will complain and create drama with his dad and it will make it so much worse for FI. (Not to mention the fact that if they came the bar tab would be out the roof!)Maybe I am being selfish in not wanting to invite her? But at the same time I feel really bad...
Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Re: a little family advice? (long)

  • edited December 2011
    Personally I would let your FI make the calls for his side. There are several people on my FI's side that I am not crazy about inviting but out of respect for him, I let it go...
  • edited December 2011
    Well he says he doesn't want to invite her, that he doesn't care about anyone from that side. I am insisting on inviting his Gma because I think that would be so rude not to! And she has always been nice to me.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • edited December 2011
    I personally don't know how you invite one without the other, but it's FI's call. The etiquette side of my brain says you should invite all of them and be the bigger person....the other part of me says, do invite FI's dad but don't worry about the other. I think for the sake of the long-term relationship that you should invite all.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • wlfpkbridewlfpkbride member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would leave the final decision up to FI. If it were me I would probably invite them and cross my fingers they don't show. (I'm doing this with one of my cousins, her hubby and their 4 kids).
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