Catholic Weddings

Premarital counsoling

So my fiance and I took a long test--I don't know if you all have done it--156 questions, agree/disagree/don't know kind of answers. We went back to go over the test results and the marriage coordinator talked with us a little bit on the questions we disagreed on (there were two of them) and then was like, "Well, see you about a month before the wedding!" My fiance and I were a bit confused cause we were told we needed to plan at least nine months in advance to fit in all the sessions, so we planned our wedding for April. I asked if we needed to meet with the priest beforehand and the coordinator said, "If you want to, you can meet with him about a month before the wedding." WTF--is this common? How many sessions did you all have to go to?

Re: Premarital counsoling

  • edited December 2011
    Just what you went though--the test and going over the test. We were also required to take NFP classes and do an engagement encounter. Maybe they were referring to those?
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    we didnt take any tests.  our pre-cana consisted of three meetings with the priest.  we had one in september, one in october, one in november, then we married in february. perhaps they had you plan 9 months in the event that you had more than 2 questions in which you differed?
  • gkb0910gkb0910 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The test you took is called the FOCCUS test.  The program is all about facilitation communication.  For my FI and me, we took the test and then met with FOCCUS coaches once.  That's all we had to do.  Our priest is FI's uncle, so it's a bit different that way.  However, we set our wedding date before we scheduled FOCCUS.  Every parish is different.
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  • edited December 2011
    We are getting married in June 2010 and just met with the parish Priest last week. We took the FOCCUS test and spoke to him for about an 1.5. He told us that a couple from the parish would be in contact with us to review the answers to the survey. And that he also likes to meet with his engaged couples 6 times before they are married. So we will meet him every other month until the wedding. We will also have to attend a NFP class, he said he found the NFP class to be the most beneficial to newlyweds and highly suggested that's the one we go with. Our priest did however mention that he tends to spend a lot more time doing pre-marital counseling than most priests because he meets with a lot of married couples going through difficult times and has found that a lot of the issues these couples have wouldn't be as big of an issue had they gone through more extensive pre-marital counseling. I'm also not sure if he's meeting with us more because we both come from divorced parents. But personally I'm happy that he's so invested into each couple, having just gone through the RCIA process last spring. I'm fairly new to the Catholic church and these meetings allow me to get a better understanding of some of the teachings, while also learning valuable advice that will help my fiance and I live a long happy life together. But like many have said I guess every parish is different and I'm guessing every diocese also requires different things.
  • edited December 2011
    I think it totally depends on the Priest and how well he knows you... After we got engaged, we waited until the 6 month mark and met with our Priest for about an hour. He told us to do the FOCCUS test, sign up for Pre-Cana, and Natural Family Planning. After we finish all of our requirements (August 26th) we're meeting with him to go over reading and other ceremony items. The wait time is really to make sure all of the paperwork is line...
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  • tnspighttnspight member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We belong to a small parish under the Archdiocese of Detroit.  We took the FOCCUS test then met with our priest to discuss the answers on which we disagreed/unsure.  We meet with him next month to plan the ceremony.  We went to one 2.5 hour class, and that's all we had to do.  If you're uncomfortable only meeting with the priest once, (and it sounds like you are, I would be too) you should request more time with him.  He should be more accessible to you than a month before.
  • bel138bel138 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We took our FOCCUS, and haven't done anything with it. We've been engaged for nearly 2 years now, and have been working on our pre-marital counseling for about a year since we're long distance from the church. We've done a retreat weekend and probably 4 sessions so far with the priest. We still have 2 or 3 more before November, he says. I just think he's excited to do so much because he doesn't get to do many marriages.
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  • edited December 2011
    We met with the priest 2 times. Instead of completing FOCCUS entirely by ourselves first, he prefers to go question by question and answer as we go. We got through most of it in the 2 sessions. After the first session in February, he said he would not meet with us again until a couple months before the wedding.In between we had the option of either attending an 8-hour pre-cana class, or meeting with a sponsor couple a few times.
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