Wedding Etiquette Forum

Legal question/AW

Our RM finally moved out today! I do have a sort of legal question though.He asked when he was getting his third of the security deposit back.I don't know if anyone remembers, but I posted a while back saying how he was basically screweing H and I, after signing on for another year, and then changing his mind.Do we have to give him a third of the deposit back now, or wait until WE get it back, which won't be until we ourselves move out?

Re: Legal question/AW

  • Wouldn't that be up to the landlord to decide if he gets his deposit back?  I'm not too sure about this sorry.
  • I'm not in a legal position of any sort, but it would make sense to wait because you have no guarantees of how much you will be getting back and you could end up shorting yourself when you DO get it back.  I hope that made sense lol.
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  • personally I would just give him the deposit and just be done with him.  Do you really want this to drag on any longer than it needs to? 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • You can wait until it is time for you to move out and you get the deposit back.  At least I am pretty sure I had 2 friends who lived together they started having a bad relationship so I was asked to take one of their place.  When we went in the person I was replacings mom demanded that she get her half of the deposit back and I needed to pay.  The land lady said I did not have to, that I could just move in and she will get her portion of the deposit back when the other girl and I move out.
  • Landlord/tenant law is very heavily a state-by-state issue.
  • I don't know about the legal side, but it wouldn't make sense to me to give him the deposit. What if you don't get the full amount back? 
  • Landlord tenet law is very state specific. First look at your contract. Then try google. You would be surprised how much you can on landlord tenet law online. The law is different depending on several things (like number of apartments your landlord has)

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • He technically broke the contract right? Signing it and then backing out of it leaving you two to deal with it? If you were to do that, you wouldn't get your deposit back, therefore he shouldn't get his part back.
  • That's what H told him...we don't even know how much we will get back...and RM got all sorts of mad...so that piissed H off and H told him that we didn't even charge his for utilities the past two months, so he for sure won't be getting anything back period. I just didn't know if we HAD to give it back ASAP.
  • I don't know about the tenant laws where you live, but where I live, the landlord can only give security money back to the people who paid it when the original lease was signed. I'd suggest talking to your landlord.  When I swapped roommates in the middle of a lease year, my landlord wrote up an addendum (or something like that) that let my old roommate out (giving back her porition of the SD) and signing the new roommate in (and taking her portion of the SD). If you fork over the money to the roommate yourself, there's no guarantee you'll see that money when you move out.
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  • How much are we talking about here?  I mean I see he has been a problem, but I'm one that would rather pay off the problem then have to deal with it for years to come.   Deduct all expenses and just give it to him.  I promise you will be happier to be over and done with this guy then waiting a year.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Me playing Devil's advocate to those who're saying "what if you don't get it all back?": Imagine you're the roommate who moved out. Here are your concerns, from your perspective... 1. You need your $$ back to put down a new deposit elsewhere. It's not fair for someone else to hold your money indefinitely, potentially forever if they never move. 2. If a new roommate moves in, that person should have to put down a deposit, because otherwise the new roommate has no stake in keeping the place nice to get back the deposit. That's the whole point of a deposit. And the landlord honestly doesn't care from whom he gets his money. 3. If no roommate moves in and it's just the two remaining people, each of them should be responsible for 1/2 of the deposit, as would've been the case if you were never their roommate. 4. You left the apartment in good condition, no damage. Your money is tied up in the deposit, which the landlord will keep if things are ruined. You have no guarantee that the remaining tenants will keep the place nice, and during the period of time AFTER you move out, they can trash the place, thereby forfeiting YOUR money, through no action of your own, and outside your control. I don't know the law in your state, but I'd return the money to him now.
  • That's what H told him...we don't even know how much we will get back...and RM got all sorts of mad...so that piissed H off and H told him that we didn't even charge his for utilities the past two months, so he for sure won't be getting anything back period.actually, my FI was in a really crappy RM situation a couple years ago and had a very similar conversation with his RM. He definitely kept the money.
  • Larissa, those are good points, and if those are the points that dictate what will happen then I think the landlord needs to come in and assess the apt to determine if anything should be deducted and then amend the existing lease to include only the remaining tenants.
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  • I see your point Larissa.  But I still think she needs to talk to the landlord. What if the landlord wouldn't give back all of the SD based on the condition of the apartment NOW? That should be taken into account when the RM gets his money back. But FWIW, I agree with Lynda.  For your own sanity, I'd deduct the utilities he owes you and give the money back as soon as possible.  I think it would be worth it to have him out of your hair.
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  • Your bio says your from Chicago. This is just a copy from http://www.tenant.org/In Chicago and Evanston, the security deposit which the landlord is holding is actually the property of the tenant. Within 30 days of moving out, the landlord should notify you, in writing, whether he or she is going to make any deductions from your security deposit for repairs for damages you caused. If the landlord does not notify you of damages, then the landlord is obligated to return the security deposit within 45 days of your moving out. If the landlord notifies you of the estimated cost of repairs, he or she has an additional 30 days to furnish you with paid receipts. In Evanston, the landlord has 21 days to make deductions and must return the security deposit within 21 days.You can usually get help from landlord tenent law groups in your area. (Illinois apparently has different security deposit laws for different cities) 

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • Check with your local tenant laws. But I know in NJ if the RM is listed on the lease with you and you're FI he is STILL responsible for his portion of the rent until you find another tenant. Otherwise you need to re-do your Lease with your Landlord and figure something out with him/her regarding his security deposit.
  • 1. You need your $$ back to put down a new deposit elsewhere. It's not fair for someone else to hold your money indefinitely, potentially forever if they never move. Well, he refused to get a job for the past year, and is moving back in with his parents at 30 years old. If he has no money, this is hardly our fault. He chose to leave, he could've stayed and signed a contract stating he would stay another year. This is why H and I are stuck with this huge apartment.So, I don't really think it's "not fair" that he isn't getting his money, he is screwing us out of about $6000.But, I you do have good points, and if this were a "normal" situation, we would def. give the money back.
  • this is exactly why I never signed a lease with another person.  Shiit happens.  Lost jobs, relationships, medical issues, whatever, something can and does go wrong and it always leaves one in a lerch.I totally get why you are upset, I really do.  It sucks he can not afford the rent.  It sucks that he was a sucky roommate.  But just chalk it up to a life experience.  Itemize all the expenses you will be deducting and just let it go. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Cubs: What's happening with the lease? I remember you posting a while back about this, and you were talking with your landlord about how the roommate moving out affects the lease.  But I don't remember what your resolution was.
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  • Noelle, the resolution was that the roommate gets off  the lease scott free, while H and I are stuck there. H went in to talk to the LL about it, asking what our options were, and the LL basically told him SOMEONE on the original lease needs to stay in the apartment. He also told H that either H and I could be shiity people and remove our names without telling our RM, and have him stuck with the apartment, or let RM off the lease. We couldn't morally do that, and wouldn't be able to find an apartment in the middle of the year anyways (we live in a large university town, so most apartments are full or leased by mid June). So, the solution was that RM was going to screw us, and told H he doesn't even know why he married me, since I am so controlling I won't even let H eat White Castle. (Um, the closest one is 2.5 hours away, so RM would buy them frozen and let them defrost in the fridge, and they smelled so gross, I made a comment to H ONCE that if he ate them, he was going to have the shiits all night, and I didn't want him to) Ugh....good riddance.
  • Yikes. That all really sucks. So was some document signed saying that shitty RM is off the lease? If so, there should be some provision in there about the SD. Eh.  I'd call your landlord, but if he isn't helpful, it sounds like it'd be worth the money just to get rid of this guy.
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  • Wait until your landlord gives it back. They lanlord might not give it all back (which has happened in every place I've ever lived!--they're a business and in it to screw you over no matter how clean/excellent you left the place). So wait.
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