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Post wedding party

roscoe4meroscoe4me
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
Sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place, but I have a quick question.  Is anyone planning a little party for the day after your wedding?  My FI thinks we should have a bbq on sunday(the day after our wedding)-my question is-how are you informing people?  Should we put an insert in the invites or just do word of mouth?  Also, do we invite everyone or what?  TIA!
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Re: Post wedding party

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Funny you should ask.  My DD and SIL decided the same thing:  they wanted a BBQ on Sunday.  In retrospect, they were sorry they organized it.  They were both tired, and "weddinged" out and said later they would have preferred to have a quiet day instead of more hoopla.  They had already seen people at breakfast, and just felt like it was overload.They had intended to open wedding gifts and all.  People did come over.  We cooked out, but they waited until everyone left and then quickly opened gifts and headed home to sleep before leaving on their HM.I'd just do word of mouth, but based on their experience, you might want to think a bit more about it.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • roscoe4meroscoe4me
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Trix-THANKS TONS!!!!! Thats what I said to my FI(I dont want to worry about organizing and cooking the next day) I am going to try to get him to change his mind.  Thanks again!!!
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  • aortiz59aortiz59 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My 2 cents:FI and I are having 2 post-wedding "parties" - an after party in the hotel hospitality suite and a next morning brunch. For both, we've delegated the planning responsibilities to others. The LAST thing you need to worry about now or on your wedding day is more planning!We plan to provide a few party trays, snacks, and beverages for the hospitality suite after-party. Will be giving the $ to pay for it to an Aunt, who will transport to location and open and set-up the room. We'll have the same room the next morning for a brunch. Hotel staff will clean and organize and the same Aunt has organized w/ the staff to have bagels, pastries, coffee, juice, fruit, etc. delivered. All we're doing is giving her the $ for it and showing up! If you can delegate the responsibility to someone, definitely do it!As far as inviting everyone, we are putting a short insert in the out-of-town bags we've prepared for the guests staying in the hotel, as well as a short note in the ceremony programs. If people miss both of those things, I suppose word of mouth will have to suffice!I know my situation is pretty specific but HTH!!
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  • mmm_080809mmm_080809 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    IMO, it depends on your family dynamics and locations of your OOT guests. My family is so spread out that unfortunately we really only see each other at weddings and funerals. So Fi and I made it a priority to have a brunch Sunday after the wedding so we could spend as much time with our OOT family as possible. We'll have the whole honeymoon to relax together, but we might not see some aunts and uncles again for years. As far as invites - we let it spread by word of mouth, listed it on our wedding website, and put a note about it and directions in the OOT bags. Everyone is more than welcome to attend, but I doubt my parents' coworkers and local friends will attend - it'll likely mostly be family and OOT guests.
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  • kkpantzlaffkkpantzlaff
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are having a faux-destination wedding (in WI, where my whole family is from--his family and lots of our friends will have to travel from CA) and we have actually planned our wedding on a Friday so we can take advantage of tailgating at the Packer Family Fun Day then next night... (or, if all else fails, one awesome bbq)  We are doing this primarily nby word of mouth and primarily as a get together for our out of town guests and close family members. Good luck!
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  • Leah&Christian09Leah&Christian09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We did the day after cook-out thing.  Our wedding was on Memorial Day weekend, so most of the OOT people stayed until Monday and Sunday was open.  My parents hosted it and took care of organizing everything.  I'm so glad they did.  We would not have been up for it.  It turned out to be a great event, though.  Our family is huge and doesn't get together very often, so everyone enjoyed having the whole weekend together. 
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  • LindyMLindyM
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We did a BBQ at our new house the next day.  We used word of mouth and email to let our friends know that they were welcome to stop by and grab some food before they headed home (most were OOT).  We didn't want anyone to feel like they weren't invited, though- so we also ended up printing a little "reminder" on the back of our programs.  It told everyone that they were welcome to join us the next day and gave directions to our house.I'd say about 50 stopped by and we had a blast.  My parents helped us to organize the food situation before hand and my husband did all the grilling.  We weren't too tired, but since people were just stopping in for lunch everyone was gone by dinner.  I'd recommend it.  We had a great time.
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  • smh8809smh8809
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    One of my aunts is having a brunch after our wedding.  My fiance and I will not be going and I doubt my parents will. After my sister's wedding four years ago we were all too tired to go to the post-wedding brunch and everyone understood.  Plus my brother will be leaving that day and my parents will want to spend time with him.Can you ask your parents if it is ok that you aren't there?  You and your fiance may be too tired and just want to snuggle up together.
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  • Septwedding09Septwedding09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would consider a brunch instead. People know for a brunch you will show up at 11, have a meal and some coffee and be on your way.  BBQ's, on the other hand, people come at 3pm and stay all night.  Brunch is more laid back. My parents did it after my brother's wedding. He was already on the honeymoon but she did it for our out-of-state family.  It was nice to relax with my family and actually catch up with them before they left to go back.
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  • cravecasecravecase member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI's grandparents are hosting one for all of the out of town guests.  I am almost positive it will only be their family because they are going back to their house about 1.5 hours from the reception...but he did extend the e-mail invite to any of our out of town guests, my parents and siblings.  Nice gesture. :)
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  • jeffloveslaurajeffloveslaura
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    There was a brunch at my fil's the next day. If it weren't for the fact that we felt the need to say, "good-bye" to our out of town family, we would not have gone. Way, way too tired. We could barely pull ourselves out of bed. It wasn't just because of a late night, it's also the crashing of all of the adrenaline from the wedding festivities (rehearsal dinner, wedding day stuff, wedding, reception, etc). I was glad we had the remainder of the day after to rest and get ready for our honeymoon. We needed that time.
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  • themidgethemidge
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    no one i know ever had a "day-after" party. personally, i think it's overkill - you'll already have had both a rehearsal dinner and reception the 2 nights before. plus, many couples leave for their honeymoon the day after their wedding. what is more common would be to have a breakfast the next day either at the reception venue (if it is a hotel) or nearby to where the out of town guests are staying. usually only out of town people are invited to this because they did make the effort to travel to be at the wedding and are spending money on staying overnight.
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  • BudnotesBudnotes member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're planning a Sunday brunch (starting at 11:00 am so we could sleep in from our wedding the night before!).  We're having a buffet brunch at a local place so I don't have to worry about cooking or entertaining and we can both visit with our families and guests who traveled from out of town.  The other thing is we're only opening the brunch up to those who traveled from out of town and our immediate families.  Local friends who came to the wedding - not included.  Helped us with our budget!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers image Daisypath Christmas tickers
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  • lulupetal627lulupetal627
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We did a post wedding brunch.  We rented an outdoor site (that could be covered, in case of rain) and picked up Panera in the morning for food.  We invited all our OOT guests and family, and put a little quarter sheet in with the RD invites letting people know we were having a brunch and its location.  It was low-key, completely relaxing, and really nice to have another chance to see everyone who came from far away. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • KappaQTKappaQT
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We might "organize" breakfast/brunch the morning after but I will probably leave that decision til the end of the wedding night and just do word of mouth invitations. That gives me the option to say "forget it!" and just relax with my new hubby for the day. Besides you are providing a big event and I don't think anyone will expect yet another event on Sunday.
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  • pamfr12pamfr12 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I went to two weddings recently that had post-wedding "brunches" the next day.  Both were put on by the parents of the bride and groom.  One was at the hotel everyone was staying at, the other at the Bride's parent's home (they had it catered).  It was nice, but the wedding I went to a couple weeks ago didn't have the post-wedding brunch, and I didn't miss it.  Oh and for the two that had the brunches, they sent out formal invites.
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  • andrewseverythingandrewseverything
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We did a brunch at a local restaurant the next morning and we loved it.  We invited OOT guests and immediate family by word of mouth.  We wanted to spend as much time with our guests as possible and it worked well.  We weren't tired the next morning, but our reception was  over by 9:30 because we didn't have dancing after.  It was relaxed and everyone had a good time.
    Head over high heels in love.
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