BM cant be in wedding due to illness

sallysong · August 2009

Cousin became very ill and cant travel to be in wedding which is in 44 days. How I should address her not being there. In the program indicate she is sick or say nothing? Ask our priest to say something during the ceremony? And then another question is there are 6 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaid including maid of honor. How do we arrange walking down the isle? Thanks!

trix1223 · August 2009

You can ask your priest to say something during a prayer in the service. Something about those who are celebrating with us today even though they couldn't be here. The priest will know how to word it.Unless she wants the information shared publicly I wouldn't necessarily put anything in the program about her being sick. I'm a pretty private person, and wouldn't feel comfortable with that myself.As for walking out, there are several possibilities: do a weave where everyone walks down the aisle (not isle) alone: GM, BM, GM, BM, etc. or have two lucky groomsmen escort two beautiful bridesmaids.And my thoughts and prayers go out to your cousin and family.

mouse10031978 · August 2009

As for her absence, I would just include a note in the program about her on the back or something. For instance, FI's brother will not be able to attend our wedding for extenuating circumstances. Ont he back we included a spot for deceased grandparents etc. and then underneath that we did a section for "We would like to recognize family that could not travel to be here" (or something like that) and listed two grandparents who could not travel, as well as his brother. This way we let people know that he was supposed to be there, but couldn't.As for the uneven numbers, simply have two groomsmen walk down 1 girl (twice?)

danieliza1127 · August 2009

My BM wasn't able to come at the last minute because she had her baby. She was already listed in the program as a bridesmaid and we didn't change that or do anything to explain her absence. Most people knew and if anyone didn't and cared enough to ask, I'm sure they did.We were short one BM so for the processional, the groom and best man walked down the aisle together, then GM2 and MOH together, then GM3 and BM2. Pics in married bio.

sallysong · August 2009

Thank you for all your answers - it helped!

bonniebrett · August 2009

hi. would you she want you to call her out at the wedding, or would it make her feel uncomfortable? if you do something for her, maybe she'd appreciate something subtle, rather than calling out that she can't be there because of illness... just a thought.

klkuczynski · August 2009

If I were in your position, I would first, check and see if she would like her illness kept quiet... some people are extremely senstive and personal. If it is something she doesn't mind sharing, you could have it either on your program as others have mentioned or if you have memorial table / candle area you could add that prayers are appreciated for _____ due to illness. My brother can't make the wedding because he is being deployed to Afghanistan for a 3rd time and we are adding his name to our prayer request list at our memorial table. The same with my mom's long time boyfriend who has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer and we are unsure if he will be feeling well enough to make it. But both are aware and have given the okay for us to do that. Otherwise its their personal battle that they might not want everyone knowing about. I pray for your cousin and her family. Best of luck with your nuptuals!

coxie · August 2009

I don't think anything needs to be said, unless you would like a moment of prayer for your cousin during the ceremony, which would be thoughtful. I had 5 bridemaids (inclufing moh) and 7 groomsmen (including bm) 2 of my girls had one guy on either side of her and were introduced the same way at the reception. It looked nice, without looking too crowded or bunched together! Hope everything works out for your cousin. Best Wishes on your wedding day

:)

Nikkiesix · August 2009

Sorry to hear that a loved one is ill. You can address it by having the priest say something, a prayer or statement for her or you can also say something yourself when you give your "speech".My wededing party is 8 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen. We are have 2 pairs of 3 arranged as 1 groomsmen and 2 bridesmaids on either side of him walking the isle.

kzodda · August 2009

I don't know if you are having a full mass or not, but if you are perhaps include her in the prayers of the faithful?That what we are doing for my fi's friend who is in the military and could not be there anymore and we will just include his name in the prayers of the faithful. Of course I say all this cause you said priest and I may be presumptuous by assuming you are catholic. My apologies if I am incorrect. Your cousin is in my prayers and thoughts. HTH!

MorgansAuntSteph · August 2009

I was in a wedding last October in a similar situation... The groom's brother should have been home from Iraq in time, but was delayed... There were 3 of us and only 2 GM. As the Maid of Honor, I walked down without the BM (who was unable to attend)! Not sure if this will help, since you are missing two?!?

BM cant be in wedding due to illness

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