Not getting registry items

rubylove00 · August 2009

has this been happening to anyone else?my FI and i registered at macy's, kohls, and target. my mom threw me a bridal shower a few weeks ago and a majority of gifts weren't on my registry. I'm not complaining, i know that it is a guest's choice to buy us any gift they want, but i thought that most people went to a registry. We have been living at home until the wedding, so we are starting from scratch. I'm a little nervous because we don't have any towels, dishes or silverware. Our wedding is in two weeks, I guess i might have to buy them myself.

Irishsapphire · August 2009

Yep, if there is anything that I realized after my wedding, it was that if I was going to be a guest in the future for someone else, I would buy from their registry. Some people still try to be original with their gift. We still have those original gifts in our closet. All you can do is hope that your guests will give you gift certificates or will eventually buy the items from your registry. If anyone asks you want you want, let them know that you that you need towels, dishes or silverware. I got my dishes from my work shower because I let them know that I still needed dishes, so they got a group gift. (I gave them a couple of ideas, but it really was a perfect gift for me. ) As well, let your parents and your fiance's parents know this in case someone in the family asks them what you would like for your wedding.

MiniSteph · August 2009

Yeah, it's going to happen with or without a registry set upt. Was married before and someone gave us these place mat settings with a rooster theme. First, not my taste at all and second, we didn't even have a dining room table! Have others spread the word reminding guests that you do have a few registries and then you'll have to hope for best. I'd wait until the wedding is over and see what you get and then head out and buy the things you need if you didn't get them. Macy's is nice because you should get a discount on what is left on the list.

dora12 · August 2009

Yes it has also been happening to me. My mom and my FMIL threw me a bridal shower and I only got 5 things from the registry. What sucks the most is that I got like 2 irons, 2 coffee makers, 7 sets of towels 4 sets of plates. I guess the best thing you could do is spread the word. Make sure you tell you FMIL and family.

stoney283 · August 2009

YES. I'm running into this issue as well. At our last shower, we got 6 casserole dishes that we didn't register for (and had nowhere to put), a shitton of picture frames, and a framed paint-by-number painting of horses galloping through the desert. A lot of people have also gotten us "cheaper" versions of the items we registered for, including cookware, serveware, barware, and towels. I realize that nobody has to get us anything at all, but it is a little frustrating.

duckie1905 · August 2009

We didn't really have this problem as most people bought off one of the registries, but we still had to buy a lot of stuff for ourselves after the wedding, including flatware. You won't get everything you need from just the registries. But it is annoying when lots of people go off-registry. I always try to buy on the registry as long as there is something available.

C W · August 2009

Did anyone spread the word about your registry? My registry info was included on my shower invites and I got almost all registry gifts. For the wedding itself though, we got mostly cash, which was fine by me.

shakes · August 2009

Wow, guys, are you really complaining about GIFTS? I know the original poster said "I am not complaining" but yes you are sweety. Some people buy things they see that you haven't thought of and some people prefer to give cash so that you can buy other things that an unmarried living at home couple hasn't thought of. Some people disagree with a registry at all, esp if what you have down are expensive or ridiculous (for ex - camping gear or sports equippment), in our family those types of things are considered insulting to guests. Just a thought, not a rule.

harri339 · August 2009

To the last poster...Getting the bride and groom what they want is insulting to you. Wow...

ellinger84 · August 2009

I've always bought gifts off from the couples registry, otherwise it's just a shot in the dark. If there wasn't anything in my price range I would never find something I thought they missed or get them something generic like a picture frame or candle, I would go for a gift card or cash. I go with the thought that if they don't put much on the registry then they want cash, and there's nothing wrong with that.

cmugurl05 · August 2009

There is nothing wrong with wanting to get what you registered for. That is the whole point of a shower. To be showered with gifts, and to spend time with the people you love. But when you get stuff you have no use for, especially when you dont get a receipt to take it back, its pretty much a waste. thats why people register!

bonniebrett · August 2009

someone told me once that she didn't buy off registries because she doesn't want you to know how much she spent. she also said that because she loved me, she bought my engagement gift off my registry... but then my shower gift wasn't, so i guess she didn't love me anymore! (other things happened, so that's probably the case!)at my shower i got a few things that weren't on my registry. it worked out well though. i just returned them for store credit and got all my bedding. worked out nicely. as for them updating your registry, it's not always that blatant. if you go to pay, and say it's from someone's registry, the item will get added on, if it wasn't already on there. my aunt bought me a pink mixer because the green wasn't in stock, figuring i could exchange it later if i wanted to. when she bought the pink one, it ended up getting added to the registry automatically... works out better for me, because i get all the credits and perks associated with it now, and the good return policy stores usually offer for a registry item.

csingley · August 2009

I had the same thought as another poster...maybe the word didn't get out about your registries? I had the same frustration a bit. A lot of gifts were from the registry but many people tried to surprise us on their own. Some of them were nice and we kept them, others we exchanged ....to get the gifts left on our registry. I agree, I think after you get married, you will always buy from people's registries in the future b/c you understand that you should try to get the couple what they want. .... Or just give cash!

clairebear985 · August 2009

I can't stand it when people say "I didn't like anything on their registry, so I got them..." People forget that it's not what they like, it's what the couple likes/wants/needs! I understand if some things are extravagant or not necessary that are the registry, but someone said this about my brother's china on his registry and wouldn't get it for them because it wasn't their taste. What I did to let people know where I was registered was I put all the places on my wedding website and then when save-the-dates were sent out I included the wedding website on that. Hopefully some people actually went to the website and saw that. Also on my shower invitations I had the hostesses put where I was registered. Whenever people ask my what I want I always respond "anything from our registries." Hopefully the word has been spread enough so most people know that we really need/want the stuff we picked out!

Krank · August 2009

If one more of my friends tells me that 'they like to be original' I am going to lose it.... Its sweet and all but I dont want a house full of knick knack crap! Now thats complaining.

BenandDina · August 2009

Hi there,We were fortunate that we got most of the stuff off our registry at my showers and got cash for the wedding that we could save and invest, but I have had a few friend that this has happened to, and we also acquired some knick-knacky stuff that we didn't need/want despite the registry gifts. I would suggest returning all of that stuff promptly, getting store credit and getting what you want. You don't have to tell anyone of your guests that you are doing it; just write a thank-you note for their kindness in attending your shower and buying you a gift, and quietly return it and buy what you would like to have.Also I would encourage you to hold out for after your wedding; you may get some of your dishes, etc. for the actual wedding, and even if you don't, you'd be able to use your registry completion discount on purchasing those items after the wedding. Or, you might get some cash that you could use to pay for some of the items that you would like to have.My guesses are, either the word of your registry wasn't spread widely on your shower invites, or some of the guests are harder up for money due to the tough economic times, so they are more likely to buy an inexpensive "unique" gift or to re-gift an item that they have sitting at home for a shower gift.It may also be regional/cultural. In some parts of the country, people only gift off the registry for both the wedding and the shower; in others, the give off the registry for the shower but not for the wedding, when they give cash. I am Jewish and originally from Russia, and my Mom and Dad's friends were used to just giving cash as gifts, as there are no registries in Russia, so my Mom had to explain to a lot of her friends what a registry was.Good luck! Oh, and one more tip - duplicate your china registry on Bed, Bath and Beyond, and this way, if you have to buy it after the wedding, you can use your 25% off discount coupons along with your registry completion discount to buy your dishes.

nuala17 · August 2009

my first shower is coming up at the end of the month. I'm sure i will get nothing off my registry. It is being put on by my FSMIL in my FI's home town. Anyway she asked me what we needed and replied with we have a registry and emailed her a link to the store's webpage. Well later she asked again and i said our registry, she responded with "yes for the wedding but for the shower can you just make me a list" so i took my registry and wrote out every item what is was what colour it was and brand (and other brands i like as well), sent that too her she responded with could you just tell me the colour's of your rooms. anyway no registry info was sent out in the invitations. It sucks because we have owned our house for over a year now. we dont' need very much and what we did registar for was mostly upgrades. I just don't want the guest to buy me a toaster that is way crappier then my toaster and then return it or just never use it, or worse get multiple toasters. That is the point of a registry to you don't get 5 pots and pans sets, 2 toasters, 4 blenders and double sheets for you king bed. And so that guesses don't feel like there gift of a pot and pan set is crappy because there was a nicer set given. I did post the registry info on my websight and I did email everyone i know who uses a computer and is invited to the wedding the websight info. so we'll see

Duckie205 · August 2009

I must be really fortunate because we only received 3 items that weren't on our registry, and one of them was just awesome. Everything else was on the registry.

quezzo · August 2009

We only received a couple of things too that were not on the registry. Luckily, most of them were great, such as our new last name spelled out in pictures, a coach bag for me for the day of the wedding, etc. I do not think it is bad to be upset about receiving things that were not on your registry though. After spending so much time registering, I think it is kind of bad manners to purchase something non-registry, especially if you know you have different tastes than the bride and groom. A present may be a present, but crap is also still crap.

tiffspff · August 2009

I'm with Duckie. My shower guests almost all bought off the registry. I got a few extra picture frames, but luckily the people who got them had good taste b/c I loved them! I think aside from that, I had 2 gifts that weren't on the registry? And they went with wine and wine glasses. Which is nice, but I'm not really much of a wine drinker.

lynlovesjoe · August 2009

MiniSteph- Rooster placemats?! It's almost as if it was a joke! I would be dumb struck if I opened that at my shower.The nice thing about towels, dishes and silverware is that you can get some half decent ones for dirt cheap. Sometimes you have to work your way up. We still have plastic handle silverware, and it works for now.

muellea4 · August 2009

If your guests can't find something off your registery for you gift then just give cash or a gift card. I know it is a nice gesture for guests to give gifts , but you make a registery because that is the stuff you NEED!.

strawberrykn · August 2009

YES! It has been happening to me too! I had my shower July 19th...although most people did but off our registrys the handful of people that didn't ended up buying us things we already have and don't need. We are just going to return those things again something we need. Sometimes it's a great surprise and wonderful gifts but in my case we didn't need it. Unfortnatlely sometimes they don't give gift receipts I had this also happen so I am stuck with it, but that's ok. Wait till after the wedding though. My FI wanted to run out and buy things with gift cards we got from out of town guests not thinking we could get them as wedding gifts in a couple months.

shanmarie4082 · August 2009

My sister got married last year and registered for ONE (1) set of Pyrex glass dishes (it was a package that included a few different sizes of the pan). Because SO MANY people went off of the registry and never bothered to tell anyone to take it off of the registry, my sister ended up with about SIX (6) sets of Pyrex dishes. This is one item I don't have to register for, thanks for those who went off the registry a little!!!! The problem was that she didn't get some of the things she really really needed because so many people were buying things she had already received!! She ended up with close to $500 in Bed, Bath & Beyond and Macy's gift cards after she returned a bunch of stuff!

heatherryan78 · August 2009

I agree thats really annoying, especially because you take the time to set up the online registry in the first place. For people to completely disregard what you ask for is rude and a bit self centered.Shakes- don't be ridiculous. Rubylove00 has a right to be frustrated. She's not being ungrateful, just wondering why people are getting her things she doesn't need when she clearly said what she needed on the registry. I don't think any bride or groom would tell their guests to buy them gifts but lets be honest here, its a wedding and people are going to get you something. I think it should be something the couple wants or needs to start their new life together. I mean, the couple is spending money on the wedding itself and the food and drinks for the guests. They could at least get the gifts they ask for.

Curucu · August 2009

It happens unfortunately. Sometimes people forget you need practical stuff too. I typically go through the registry and buy whatever they will need the most. Its hard to get people to understand if you aren't co-habitating. So foreign these days. I can understand, I was in the same boat the first time I wed and got mostly lingerie! (Thanks guys!) As others have said, returns, exchanges, and cash gifts can save the day.

heatherryan78 · August 2009

Oh and what you should do is return all the items you dont want and get the money or store credit so you can have a shopping spree with your new hubby and get what you want. I know a couple who did that and just pocketed the money because they got so many items they didn't need.

Nikkiesix · August 2009

You know Ladies, the bottom line is that we all want things to go well and we all have a "plan" or "vision" in our heads. To Shakes, again, this is a venting board for us ladies. She's not complaining about gifts, its just that we take the time to create a registry and then people ignore it for various reasons. Especially those who still live at home and have nothing to start with it is dissapointing. It can be frustrating, but these are things that we cannot control. RubyLove I hope that you will be able to get some of the gifts that you wanted, maybe you can return some items that you recieved and get the things that you need!

Simply Fated · August 2009

RetreadBride..."A bride on MSN's wedding board is not only getting stuff that wasn't on her registry....these people are taking it upon themselves to "update" her registry as if the items actually WERE purchased. All her stuff shows purchased, but none of it is what she actually registered for...all the sheets show purchased, but what she got isn't what she picked out. That's just really inconsiderate."Is that even possible? I thought items were automatically taken off the registry when you bought them and told the cashier.. and the only person who could update them manually was the bride (or person who registered).Anyway, if there is nothing on the registry I can afford or see myself getting, then I would opt for a check or cash, instead. Sometimes people like to be original. Other times the might not either know about the registry... and there are still some who think they are unneeded or tacky.

meganfauer · August 2009

I was shocked by this too but even worse I got married in May and I would say that almost half of the people have not even gotten us ANYTHING AT ALL, not even a card. I think that people are wack these days.

FutureMrsPonton · August 2009

I've got a good one... my parents' good friend who is like and aunt to me calls my mom last week telling her she's at Target and was going to buy us our towels and shower curtain... but they are ugly and do not go together so she's not getting them!Fi and I picked them out because we liked them. The towels are plain yellow, the shower curtain has orange, pink, blue, green and white. We like the bright colors together.It just amazed me that she actually called my mom from the store and told her we had bad taste so therefore she wasn't buying us what we wanted! I can't wait til the shower this Sunday to see what she decided was better for us!

I love people...

Not getting registry items

Re: Not getting registry items

Choose Another Board

Search Boards