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more advice needed...

AmericaMowryAmericaMowry member
10 Comments
in Michigan-Detroit
Thanks for the invite advice guys.Now I need a little more. You guys are the pros & this situation is not typical, therefor I am at a loss.Bridal Shower: I assumed I'd still have one (it's a month from today). But now that we aren't having a typical reception & our friends/coworkers wont be invited (except BP), is it still Ok to have a shower?I know etiquette says not to invite anyone to the shower who isnt invited to the reception.. but with this unique situation.. i just dont know.Bridal Party: Now that I have no MOH, our sides are uneven. Is it Ok to ask one of the GM to walk by himself? Do we ask someone to step down?tia... again.
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Re: more advice needed...

  • jujubee455jujubee455 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My opinion is too forgo the bridal shower or just have it with friends and family that are invited to the reception dinner. But if your friends and coworkers throw the shower for you that is a different story. So I guess it depends on who is throwing the shower. As for the BP, I would have GM walk by himself, or have a BM walk with two GM.
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  • whrldtravlrwhrldtravlr member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp... if someone throws the shower for you, well I think it's probably still ok to have one. If you are looking to arrange one, I would go with a very small, intimate get together- most likely of just the folks who are attending the reception dinner.As for the bridal party, there's no reason a GM can't walk by himself. I wouldn't ask anyone to step down- that might cause more issues. HTH and sending you knottie support vibes!
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  • blackberryaddictblackberryaddict member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    As for the Bridal Party - it's ok for the GM to walk by himself.
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  • efabianefabian member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    For the Bridal Party question, have your Best Man stand up in the front with your FI and have all the other couples walk with each other. FI and I are doing this so the Best Man can help walk the Moms/grandmas down the aisle. Not sure about the other situation though, sorry.
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  • particularityparticularity
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    "Traditional" Shower would not be appropriate .  Maybe you could have a more intimate shower with just the BM's and really close girl friends and keep it to a personal shower.
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  • sbowersoxsbowersox
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i wouldn't do the shower.  if they separately throw one that's fine but you don't want to be involved in inviting them and then not invite them to the weddingbridal party issue - i'd say you're fine.  have the best man stand up there with the groom and then you should be even
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  • ksunquestksunquest member
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I thought the etiquette was that you weren't supposed to invite people to the shower that weren't invited to the wedding. From what I understand from your last post, you are inviting everyone to the wedding, just not the reception. It is not a requirement to HAVE to have a reception. on the BP: we had uneven numbers and it worked out fine. I would suggest what pp said and have the BM stand with the groom (which is tradition) and have the other paired off.
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  • *Ashley&Trevor**Ashley&Trevor* member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it is fine to still have a shower, as long as you are OK with it....given your situation.  We had 2 girls and 4 guys.  We had the guys walk down with Trevor and then the girls alone before me.  On  the way back up it was 2 guys escorting a girl...you could have that with one of your girls.
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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto what everyone said.
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  • eclipsethecateclipsethecat member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto what Katie said- I think you are still "allowed" to have a shower and invite people that wont be invited to the reception. Plus this is a different situation. I think you are already sacrificing enough (you know what I mean,) not having a reception that you deserve the shower. Plus I had a lot of people that came to my shower that didnt make it to the wedding. I wouldnt worry about the uneven sides of the wedding party.
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  • ErinBrunErinBrun member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would say dont ask someone to step down. You asked everybody to be in your BP for a reason and those reasons haven't changed despite everything else that has happened, and they are honored to be a part of your day. You do not have to have an even number on each side, and it may even honor your sisters memory if it isn't even.For the shower, Id say for those who aren't invited to the wedding it probably isnt appropriate to invite them to the shower. You could have something smaller and intimate with your best girl friends/family and that will mirror what you are doing with your wedding too.  Hope that helps!
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  • rainyraerainyrae
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think that there is no breach in having a shower if  you want to. your situation has been so different the shower could be an opportunity to celebrate with those not invited to the wedding.  you could call it somethingelse... and emphasisze there is no need for gifts as for the bridal party thing. I say keep things as they are.  you would want that person still in the party.  there is nothing wrong with uneven numbers.  That person is still holding a special place in the bpso it is not all that uneven :) best luck :)!
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  • AmericaMowryAmericaMowry member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks guys.BP will stay the way it is. It is obvious now that that was the right thing to do, I just needed to hear it, I guess.Fi's mom/aunts were throwing the shower & I think they probably still will, just smaller. Maybe just family, BP & such. Not every female that was originally invited to the reception.I am still inviting everyone to the ceremony that I originally was planning on (not sure if I made that apparent or not)Thanks guys, just needed to hear some things out loud to realize it doesn't really matter what the details are, things will work out beautifully in the end.
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