Attire & Accessories Forum

Wedding cancelled, what to do with my dress???

Hello,

Unfortunately I recently had to cancel my wedding, about a month and a half before I was supposed to get married. Something in my heart didn't feel right.

I now have a problem: What do I do with my wedding dress??

I can't emphasize enough how much I love the dress. I'm a really picky person and it took a LOT of online searches to find even one gown I felt I HAD to try on. I really did only come across one and that's the one I bought. It's just BEAUTIFUL and extremely flattering, and very "me".

I feel that maybe I should sell it:
A)I don't know WHO I'll eventually get married to. Somehow I don't think it's going to be with my ex-fiance.

B)I don't know WHEN I'll get married.
It could be in two years from now, could be in three years from now, could be in ten years from now (I sure hope not). By then there will be more styles, the style could change, ETC.

The issue is, I really don't feel I'll find another gown as much as I love my current one. But I think it would be weird to wear a wedding dress on your wedding day, most likely to ANOTHER man, when you bought it initially thinking you'll be marrying the PREVIOUS man. Beyond potentially being "bad luck" it may just be bizarre!

OR, is it "just a dress"??

What do you think??

Re: Wedding cancelled, what to do with my dress???

  • unplainjaneunplainjane member
    First Comment
    edited June 2010
    i was watching say yes to the dress and there was a woman that had her wedding cancelled and she decided to keep the dress because she loved it. the owner said it's really rare for a woman to keep the dress. like deciding to get married only you can make this tough decision. it's really what you feel is right for you. anways good luck to you on what you decide.
  • I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles...it must have been an incredibly difficult decision for you to have made.

    My thought is to do nothing with the dress right now.  There are many, many feelings to process first, and the dress can wait.  Try to stay focused in the moment, and in a couple of months when your feelings aren't so raw, you will come to a clearer decision on what to do with the dress.

    Peace...
  • Check out theregoesthebride.com.  It's a website specifically for brides who've called off their weddings.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • post it on bravobride, preownedweddingdress.com or ebay

  • My SIL kept her dress when she called of her first engagement/wedding.  It was then preserved and packed away.  5 years later, when my brother proposed and they started planning their wedding, she brought up the dress.  She came to me first, she loved her dress and wanted to wear it for their wedding.  My opinion was to explain to my brother how much she loved her dress, it was never worn and her ex-FI never even saw it.  She did, and his answer was to wear the dress she loved so much. They have been married 7 yrs now, and through a lot of ups & downs that could break other couples.

    I say, have it professionally cleaned, preserved and pack it away. Make that decision later when you find the right person to marry.
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  • I knew someone that cancelled the wedding the night before the wedding was to take place. She saved her dress, her bridesmaids (her sisters and her friends) saved their dresses. Two years later she married someone else and they all wore those dresses.
  • I did it!

    I called off a previous engagement, and packed the wedding dress away at my mom's house.  I looked at it this way:  it was a dress that I bought for MY wedding, whenever it happened and to whomever it took place.  I loved it too much to let it go, and I, like you, had problems finding a dress that I liked.  I did have to have it altered a bit, when I did get married, but that wasn't a problem.  It's just a dress.  It's not cursed.
    Holy Crap. We survived the first year!
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  • My best friend broke off her engagement when she was 19 and saved hers. She's now 25 and will wear it on her wedding this October. She loved the dress and like PP said - she bought it for her wedding, it had nothing to do with her ex-fiance.

    I say hang on to it for awhile and decide when things aren't quite so emotional.
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  • PiruPiru member
    First Comment
    That's a tough decision. I think I would sell because my tastes change quickly and I may want a different dress for a different wedding with a different feel with a different groom. That all depends on how set you are on a certain type of wedding and dress though.

    With my particular dress, I'd keep it but it's not very formal- I can wear it for other things.

    Hang on to it for now. You can always try to sell later, especially if you end up in a situation where you're short on money. CL would probably be the easiest way though of course there's ebay and sites made especially for pre owned dresses.

    Sorry about the turn of events. That's very brave of you to call it off because it "didn't feel right". Good for you for not going through with it anyway.
    And if you should die before me, ask if you can take a friend. Pick a flower, close your eyes,and drift away- STP
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  • I think you should hold on to it for awhile until all of this settles down before you make a final decision. Best wishes to you.
  • I agree with a lot of the ladies-- and express my condolences to you-- you can always do something with the dress later-- but the priority focus is on you now. Take some time to yourself-- maybe take a vacation just to get away from everything-- and take care of yourself. If you decide later to get rid of it, no big deal, or you'll have it for when you want/need it. I know when my future grandmother-in-law past away the hospic people told her husband to not make any big descions for six months. While calling of a wedding isn't a death, it's still a big change to deal with, and you need to take the time to deal with it.
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  • Its entirely up to you.  If you're okay with it, I say keep it and see! 
    If you think you'll feel weird sell it and I'm sure you'll find the perfect dress again.
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  • I saved mine.  My ex-fiance called off our wedding about 4 months before it was supposed to happen and a family friend had already custom made my wedding dress.  I packed it up and decided I would choose what to do with it later.

    Now, 2 years later, I will be wearing it(with my current FI's blessing) for my wedding next December.   It ultimately depends how you feel about it.  You say you think it would feel weird to wear that dress again, so my best advice to you would be to wait awhile and then think about it again.  I really am an advocate that every woman has her one perfect dress though, and when it comes down to it, later on you may not find a dress you love as much and then you'll find yourself having to settle for less.  Good luck.
  • My sister had bought a dress and then the wedding was cancelled. She held on to the dress but as she got a little older and since wedding dress styles change all the time when it came to her getting married to her current husband she no longer liked her dress and got a new one. Now she has this old dress hanging around and is not sure what to do with it because that style is not that popular any more. If you think you would wear it when you do get married by all means keep it but I personally would want new and fresh everything for my new and fresh marriage but that is just my feelings on it. If you do not want to keep it have you thought of donating it to a bride who would not be able to afford a dress? I don't know about you but a little good karma is always needed.
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