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Should I be upset?

So my Bachelorette Party is October 10th and my sisters (MOH's) are starting to plan it. My sister sent out an email to the other two bridesmaids (my bf and FSIL) just to give them a heads up of the date and all. So FSIL-who I feel hates me, FI says I'm nuts-writes back to my sister and says she's sorry but she can't make it she made plans with her friends that night because it's the same night as the Bachelor party and she never imagined they would be the same night. I didn't want them to be the same night but Philly Restaurant week is two weeks long so FI can't get off of work and it's the only other night that works. I don't really care that she can't come because I know she'll just be a spy and tell FMIL everything that goes on anyway but I can't help but be pissed because she's in the wedding and is bailing just to hang out with her friends? I don't get it. I wish I never asked her to be in the wedding but I did so because she's FI's sister and he wanted her in it. I feel like every chance she has to try and get closer to me or hang out with me she bails.       

Re: Should I be upset?

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    edited December 2011
    I would be upset.  How does she have plans already?  Why would she need to have plans for the night of the Bachelor party and why so far in advance?  Maybe you can try talking to her about it.  She needs to realize that you are going to be sisters whether she likes it or not!
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    edited December 2011
    I would be upset too but in the long run you may have more fun if she isn't there. Maybe you could talk to her and if she can't go make plans just the two of you for an afternoon lunch and shopping maybe? Tell her you really want to get to know her more since you are about to be family.
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    cbuck87cbuck87 member
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with *summer* how does she have plans already, is she meeting up with the bachelor party?! Out of respect to you and her brother she should at least come to yours for a few hours then go on her way, ( i still think she should be there the whole time, since she is in your wedding) Dont feel bad about being upset, you have every right to be.
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    edited December 2011
    I agree w/ pp, I would be upset too.  I think it is a little insensitive for you FSIL to have other plans and not be willing to be flexible with them in order to make your Bachelorette Party.  But, try not to let it ruin your time when you go out for your BP.  Maybe you can let your FSIL know that you are disappointed you won't get to spend time with her at your BP and ask her if she would like to do something else with you (get your nails done together, shopping...whatever you enjoy). 
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    nygirl07nygirl07 member
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    edited December 2011
    I have a person like that too :)  She's family and we were very close but things have changed...at this point I really don't care if she comes.  Yeah I would be a little mad but when I think about it I would rather her not b/c she would be miserable and try to ruin my night any way.Don't let her ruin it for you...go our and have fun with the people that really care about you
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    edited December 2011
    Sometimes I don't know what I am doing 2 weeks in advance, let alone 2 months in advance so I can't imagine what she would be doing with her friends that would require such an early "reservation."  I say do it without her, especially if you will have more fun without her! Plus if you get the vibe that she doesn't like you, maybe she is making up a reason for not coming?? In which case you should def go ahead with the BP as scheduled!  This is about you , not her, so if she can't cancel her "plans" for the evening, then pfewy on her!
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    nadine72284nadine72284 member
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    edited December 2011
    Dont be upset, in the end you'll be happier she's not there. My FSIL is the exact same way basically wants no parts of me, but I think of it as more alone time with my actual besties than trying to entertain people who dont really want to be involved anyway. My Bachelorette Party was so much fun b/c it was just me & my 3 BFF's :)  HTH GL
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    NJ789NJ789 member
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    edited December 2011
    Like the old saying goes, unfortunately, there always has to be one...
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    edited December 2011
    I pretty much agree with pp. My FSIL probably isn't coming to my bachelorette party and I'm upset about it, so I definitely don't blame you for being upset. However, since she probably would have served as a spy, it seems like the situation is a blessing in disguise to me! And don't let it get you down, enjoy it without her!
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    angel33284angel33284 member
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    edited December 2011
    If she wants to be on the outside, let her be. Have a ball with the rest of the girls and when she's not all happy and joyful on your wedding day like the rest of hem she'll realize what a great time she missed out on. Whatever you do don't let anybody bring your wedding down.
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    edited December 2011
    def do not lt this upset you that much. It's kinda crappy she is saying she already has plans (which is truley hard to believe) but like a lot of ppl said, you will have SO much more fun without her. And honsetly, i cant imagine that many FSIL/FBIL would feel all that comfy going all with all of YOUR closest frineds, who they most likely dont know, for a night of fun. You have the rest of your life with FI to be around her, let thisone night be about the people who WANT to be there with you. trust me, as someone who got sick as hell and ruined her own BP(not from drinking unfortunately), it was way more about the ppl around me taking care of me and being my true frineds than anything else.
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