Pre-wedding dilemma...

I:Heart:Him · August 2009

Today my FI and I found out the available dates for the church where we wish to be married. We absolutely love it and will not go anywhere else, no matter the inconvenience it is causing. The church only has an available slot (for several different days) at 6:30pm. It gets dark just after 7:30pm and we won't be able to get even a half hour of pictures w/sunlight. I know its "tradition" to not see the bride before she walks down the isle but it's looking like we may have to in order to get enough pictures before dark...I've heard of this being more common now days but I just need some reassurance that it is not a terrible decision (or is it?).Has anyone else had their pictures done pre-wedding?Did it make walking down the isle less exciting than it might have been? Regrets? What did you encounter? Any advice or experience would be helpful.Thank you in advance!!

kmmssg · August 2009

2 of my DD's did all their pic's pre-wedding and wouldn't have done it any other way. They had a private "reveal" where they saw each other up close for the first time, and then had about 15-20 minutes completely alone just to speak with each other, calm each other down, and it was a few moments they NEVER would have had if they hadn't seen each other before the ceremony. I am a huge fan of this idea!

Britton&Jim · August 2009

Many couple decide to do this. We did. I went back and forth on it throughout the planning and finally decided to do pictures first. We wanted outdoor pictures, but our ceremony was in the fall and in the late afternoon. Our photographers mentioned a "first look" as an option they often do. We didn't want to have to rush the pictures between the ceremony and reception, either. So, we did the vast majority of our pictures before the ceremony. We loved it. We did a first look, so my husband stood at the bottom of a set of stairs inside the church and I came down the stairs, and we saw each other all dressed up for the first time. I should also note that we didn't live together before the wedding, so we hadn't seen each other at all since the rehearsal dinner ended the previous night. We had a ton of time (2-3 hours) for pictures with the wedding party and each other, so it was really relaxed and fun. Makeup, hair, and boutonnieres were still fresh (there's lots of hugging after the ceremony in receiving lines!). When I walked down the aisle, it was still full of all the emotion and excitement that I expected. Doing pictures/seeing each other beforehand didn't make the walk down the aisle any less special. It was a different feeling than when we saw each other in the first look. I was on my dad's arm, the guests (important people in our lives) were standing and grinning, the organ was beginning its triumphant theme, my best friends and his were at the front, and my husband had the biggest smile I've ever seen.We also had picture after the ceremony of our families, the receiving line, us, and then of course all the pictures of the reception.I'm not saying that having pictures/seeing each other before the ceremony should be done by everyone, but we definitely found it to be the right choice for us. The one thing that is a little different with pre-ceremony pictures is that you don't have your wedding rings on yet. Most of our pictures didn't really focus on our left hands so you can't really tell unless you are looking for the absence of wedding bands, and we took a ton of ring shots after the ceremony, but that's just something to note. Here are some of our first look pictures, to give you an idea of what ours were like. There are more wedding pictures in my Married Bio. They were done by Sarah J Photography - [url]<a href="http://www.sarahjphoto.net" rel='nofollow'>www.sarahjphoto.net</a>[/url].Good luck with whatever you decide, and best wishes![img]<a href="http://i32.tinypic.com/6ed8on.jpg" rel='nofollow'>http://i32.tinypic.com/6ed8on.jpg</a>[/img][img]<a href="http://i27.tinypic.com/aayc0o.jpg" rel='nofollow'>http://i27.tinypic.com/aayc0o.jpg</a>[/img][img]<a href="http://i31.tinypic.com/b87j9i.jpg" rel='nofollow'>http://i31.tinypic.com/b87j9i.jpg</a>[/img][img]<a href="http://i26.tinypic.com/2diotpj.jpg" rel='nofollow'>http://i26.tinypic.com/2diotpj.jpg</a>[/img]

weddingbells2010 · August 2009

It sounds like the church is most important to you. If you're really not willing to compromise with the church, then there are sacrifices that come with it- like having to do pre-wedding pictures. I Personally do not think it's a big deal at all. In fact, I was trying to convince my fiance to do this as well, since we're on a tight timetable. He feels very strongly about not seeing me until I walk down the aisle though...... to each his own! Whatever is right for you two is all that matters.

vgmartinez · August 2009

Not sure if anyone has done this or even if photogs will do it but what if you could do group pictures the day after. I think I saw a post or a bio where the bride wore her dress the next day to take more pics...I'm sure groom could do the same before he has to take his tux back.

SpringBride1114 · August 2009

I think the "reveal" pics are sweet and heartfelt. especially pp's

But taking pictues beforehand is just not what I invision, and not for me. Don't worry about tradition, do what suits your needs best. You want beautiful pictures that you can actually see!

handfast4me · August 2009

Many people do this now to avoid the "gap" between the ceremony and reception. You could have your reveal, then do the group photos (everyone's makeup and outfits will be fresh!) and then do the ceremony; reception immediately following. My older sister was having a fit about this for my DD's wedding. She really wanted her to follow tradition. However, a couple of weeks ago she attended a wedding where there was a 1 1/2 hour gap, everyone was just standing around (no alcohol in allowed in a baptist church hall) until the pictures were completed, and now she LOVES the idea of pre-wedding pictures.

yuodelj · August 2009

I did it....

I:Heart:Him · August 2009

Thank you all so much for your help!!I can finally breathe easy now! (Well, on that subject anyways)

kate8987 · August 2009

My fbil and fsil did the pre-wedding pictures. Personally I'm not a fan of it. I want my fi to see me for the first time that day when I start walking down the aisle. We plan on doing seperate pictures with our bp before the ceremony so we won't see eachother and then after we'll have pictures of the two of us taken.

FutureMrsPonton · August 2009

Were doing pics before hand. I think seeing my Fi before hand will ease both our nerves and make the day more fun and relaxed. We are not traditional at all though- he helped pick out my dress- but I feel like he's the only person that I care about liking it!I personally think the not seeing each other before hand is an old tradition- one that doesn't fit with our wedding plans.

rubber_chicken · August 2009

our ceremony begins after sunset, so we're taking all pictures beforehand. we get to spend a couple hours wandering around campus taking tons of shots, and we get to start the party right after the ceremony. but then again, we're spending the night before together and getting ready together. i never understood the need to "surprise" the groom. guys don't care what the bride's wearing. have you ever heard of a groom who was disappointed or thought the dress was ugly? it just doesn't happen. walking down the aisle is special because you're about to married, not because you're wearing a big white dress no one's seen before.

fawnkay0ne · August 2009

We are also doing pictures of the bridesmaids with the bride, groomsmen with the groom before the ceremony. We are doing all of the pictures that require my fiance and I to see each other after the ceremony. Doing most of the pictures beforehand will really save on the delay between the ceremony and reception. This is the ONLY tradition we are keeping. The idea of a reveal is really cute, but I prefer the idea of him seeing me for the first time as I walk down the aisle.

I:Heart:Him · August 2009

rubber_chicken -- I completely agree! Unfortunately, most of my concern for "tradition" is based on how FI feels... He was raised by an overly traditional family and my family is so not traditional at all. My parents married in a courthouse, mom wore a baby blue dress w/tennis shoes (couldn't see them. it was for comfort), my dad wore a flannel button up with black slacks (ah, the 1980's. lol). My dad remarried later in Colorado where you are allowed to marry without an officiant, so they married in the woods, just the two of them. None of my family members have ever done anything traditional for their weddings. I wish I could follow suit but I can't for FH happiness... FI and I are also spending the night together and are only leaving each other just in time to get ready. We both have 4 attendants so we can't get ready together.Anyways, to update: We ended up picking a date that had an 11:30am opening so now that dilemma is over with. I must admit, I am a bit sad to let go of the pre-wedding pics. I was actually looking forward to them and the time that would allow us for pictures and time together before the wedding. : (Oh well, I am sure it will be an amazing day either way!Thank you again, all of you, for your advice!!

crazycatladyk · August 2009

Even at the most traditional wedding I've ever attended, they did photos beforehand because it was convenient. That also allowed the attendants and parents the chance to enjoy the cocktail hour. The couple is Jewish so they used that time for the 'alone' time that the couple traditionally has after the ceremony in Jewish weddings. We're doing them beforehand but we're also spending the night together and probably heading to the ceremony together, and quite possibly getting ready together, because we don't care for all the pomp and formality of "first looks" and we'd rather project a more informal vibe.

Sue/Mike · August 2009

Our church is requiring that we do pics before the ceremony. All the weddings that I have been to in the last two years (or have been in) have had the pics before, too.Ask your photographer to stage a special moment where your FI can see you for the first time (and get your bridal party out of there so you can have a private moment!).

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