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very small wedding, ceremony suggestions

Hi! We are having a 20 guest wedding. Initially we were planning on a bigger one, but decided that an even smaller one would be more financially reasonable right now. Anyways, I have never been to a Catholic wedding with 20 people in the church?! Has anyone done this before? Did you do a full mass (possibly 1/4 to 1/3 of the guests will not be Catholic, if this matters), or would a shorter ceremony be more appropriate in this situation?i appreciate any suggestions :)

Re: very small wedding, ceremony suggestions

  • edited December 2011
    Just because you have a small giest list does not mean the ceremoney needs to be any smaller. Do you want mass or just the sacrament? go based on the opinion of you and fi this is teh important part of the day
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    you can have a mass with just the two of you there.  the number of people is irrrelevant.  in fact, priests must say mass daily as part of their duties.  often they say mass with no one there but themselves. i just went to a funeral mass that had about 30 people there.  the priest just requested that we all fill the front pews.
  • edited December 2011
    We had about 80 guests... bigger than your wedding, but it was still pretty small compared to the size of the church.  We did a full Mass (and about 1/2 of the guests weren't Catholic).I also attended the wedding of a friend who had about 50 guests, and a full Mass.As a PP said, priests say Mass every day, sometimes with no one else present or with only a couple of parishioners.  If you want to have a Mass, have a Mass -- I wouldn't let the number of guests determine what kind of ceremony you have.
  • TruchanaTruchana member
    edited December 2011
    I think church ceremony would be pretty neat and intimate with only 20 guests!  Whether or not you have a full mass is a personal decision and based on your individual circumstance. I'm personally not because my mom, her side of the family, and probably half our guests are not catholic. I couldn't have a wedding where my mom was going to be excluded. That's what was important to me.
  • tnspighttnspight member
    edited December 2011
    I would be more apt to do a full mass with a smaller group.  We're allotted one hour for the ceremony and 30 min post ceremony pics so I don't think we'll be able to swing a full ceremony (150 ppl).  I think that you should base your decision more on what's important to the two of you, though.
  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Of course it's been done before, you're not the first and I'm sure you won't be the last. My paternal grandparents had about five or six guests in attendance at their Catholic wedding, and my maternal grandparents had two. Talk to your FI and decide what the best option is for the two of you, what means the most to the two of you. Consult your priest if you need some guidance. I'll bet you will have a lovely, intimate wedding with a guest list of 20. You can keep the focus on the importance of the ceremony and the sacrament, rather than making a big production out of the day.
  • edited December 2011
    i think your smaller guest list is perfectly fine, would be welcomed by the church, and would be more inclined to have the full mass regardless of guests' religious beliefs.  this is your wedding, not theirs, and a ceremony does not really cut that much time off to make a huge difference. 
  • girllennongirllennon member
    edited December 2011
    Our wedding was this past Saturday and we had 30 guests. We did the full nuptial mass and it was a very moving ceremony. It had a more intimate atmosphere and since the priest knew us as a couple for several years, he made the service even more personalized. I went through RCIA this past Easter, so 98% of my guests were Jewish (all my family) and we still did the full ceremony because it was important to us. I had a program detailing the mass order and certain rituals, but everything couldn't have been more perfect. HTH!
    Joseph Michael - 12/22/2010
    5lbs 9 oz, 18.5 inches long
    6 months: 16lbs 15 oz, 27 inches long

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