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Elopement Party

ZRexZRex
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So a good friend of ours eloped a few weeks ago, and is having a party to celebrate. They've stated that the party is to be really casual, no wedding-y stuff, because they are planning to have a reception a year from now (bride will have to go back to her home country and come back next year because of visa stuff). Do we take a gift? I can't imagine what we'd get them since they will be living separately for a year. Do we just wait until the reception?
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Re: Elopement Party

  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
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    This should be fun
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
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    Wait, they eloped, and now they want to have TWO parties for people to bring them gifts? 

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  • ZRexZRex
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    Uh oh...why?
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  • ricksangricksang member
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    Wait until the reception IF they have one.
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  • notquiteblushingnotquiteblushing member
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    I would just bring champagne or wine.
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  • salt78salt78 member
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    I wouldn't even go. That's the stupidest thing I've heard all day.
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  • mandysmearmandysmear member
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    Yep, I'd bring a congratulations on your marriage card and some wine or champagne to toast with.  If they have a reception, then I might bring a gift. 

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  • ZRexZRex
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    I like the champagne suggestion. That way we don't show up empty handed and don't end up buying two gifts. I know it's kind of silly, but In think they eloped because her student visa was almost up, and they both still want to have a traditional celebration next year when she comes back (she's leaving soon and doesn't have time to plan). In the meantime, all of their friends/family are clamoring for a celebration. It is a whole lot of fuss, but I don't think they are materialistic or gift grabby people...so I don't really mind. Thanks for the advice!
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  • betrothed123betrothed123
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    I'd definietly send a card and be done with it.  This is a hot mess.  Why bother eloping if you're just going to have 2 parties afterwads?
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  • ffmaidffmaid
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    Yes if you are ever going to get them a wedding gift now is the time as they just got married. Anniversary party or whatever next year is not the time to get them a wedding gift now is. Bring a gift if you would have gotten a gift for them had they had a big wedding. I would bring something you think that they would liek and can use. Something for when they move in together
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  • salt78salt78 member
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    They should have just waited, got married next year and then had the reception, etc.
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  • ZRexZRex
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    betrothed, i love the term "hot mess." you just made me laugh out loud!
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  • ffmaidffmaid
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    actually how about two sets of nice stationary with their monograms for their love letters back and forth  since long distance for 1st year of marrige
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  • betrothed123betrothed123
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    I'm glad I could bring joy to someone's day.
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    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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  • angiebear11angiebear11
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    I would send a congratulations card and not attend this party.
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  • AdelaCAdelaC member
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    Since they have stated "Casual, no wedding-y stuff" I would take this party similar to an engagement party. No gift, bottle of wine with card. My guess is the future reception will be the actual gift giving party. ESPECIALLY since you point out that they are living separate for a year.  You would be helping them start their lives together. I don't take this as them requesting more gifts....they are in a A-typical situation considering the VISA issue. If I were in their shoes, I would love to celebrate the actual wedding day with friends/family (low key), and then celebrate with the more flair a year later. For those that say don't go...I definitely disagree. If they are close friends, I can't see missing an opportunity to celebrate their new marriage together!  
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  • ffmaidffmaid
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    They are just married now is the time to celabrate next years event is the silly event to skip in my opinion
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