Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Skipped Traditions?

Hi ladies-Curiosity question- what traditions did you skip during your wedding ceremony/reception? And if you could, would you go back and change anything?

Re: Skipped Traditions?

  • We skipped just about everything.  Because we did it on the beach, just the two of us.  What we did that was different was about a year before, we did a traditional, full-on Pagan Handfasting, which is the older marriage ceremony, before Christianity.  The only thing I would change, if I could, was to find a dress I loved.  I never had "the moment" that so many women talk about with their dresses.  Oh well, FI (now DH) and everyone else gasped when I came out of the dressing room, so I figured that was proof that it looked OK. 
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  • Skipping the garter toss, alcohol, and the dance.  Just going with a really nice Italian lunch and a dinner with the wedding party and parents.  And no, no one has complained about it yet.
  • At my first wedding, we skipped:[list][*]Giving away the bride[*]Dancing[*]Dress with a train[*]Changing my name[/list]At this one, we'll skip:[list][*]Having a groom (it's a same-sex wedding)[*]Giving away either bride[*]Bouquet toss[*]Garter toss[*]Changing either of our names[/list]There might be more that we are skipping, but since I'm not paying enough attention to know what the traditions are, I can't list them.  ;-)And no, I wouldn't change anything.
  • Yeah I was thinking about skipping the garter and the first dance & father/daughter and mother/son dances. Either that, doing the father/daughter and mother/son dances together. I think we're also going to skip the tradition that the bride and groom aren't supposed to spend the night together the night before the wedding- we live together, and I think it would help my nerves for us both to be at home. I think we are also going to take pictures before the ceremony so there isn't as much of a time gap between ceremony and reception. Did anyone else do this?It's amazing how many little things there are to think about when planning! :)
  • I will be seeing my groom prior to the ceremony. Obviously I cannot speak from experience yet about skipping this portion, but the idea came from problems that arose at my sister's wedding due to this tradition. The guests did not exit the church in a timely fashion so we didn't get to taking pictures right away. As a result we did not get to take all of the standard family/group photos at the ceremony location because the limo driver refused to wait any longer (which is another problem all it's own if you ask me) to take us to the reception hall. I personally hate the garter/bouquet tradition. A wedding is the last place that you want to be when you're single and then you get called out in front of everyone - not my idea of fun. We are still going to toss a bouquet but it will be a breakaway bouquet of candy flowers and ALL of the ladies will be welcome to join. Similarly, we are still going to toss the garter, but it will be wrapped around something fun TBD and, again, ALL the gentlemen will be welcomed to join. My family is very traditional and they are not very happy with me for skipping the traditions. However, I don't think it's important to include something in my wedding if it doesn't mean anything special to me or my FI.
  • I understand that people are shirking tradition to do their wedding their way, and I don't see anything wrong with that. To each their own!That being said, we are doing a lot of the traditional hoopla. IMHO I don't think that a wedding is the time to toss the tradition out the window. My FI chose not to do a mother/son dance, but I know my dad would be CRUSHED if I didnt have the daddy/daughter dance with him (I'm also his only daughter, I've got 3 big brothers!) I am tossing the bouquet and he's tossing the garter, but we are skipping the next part. We are getting married in a church, my dad is walking me down the aisle, I am changing my name, we are doing a first dance, etc. But, we are also doing that b/c that is how we want to do it. Those things are important to the 2 of us and our familes.
  • Oh! And we are staying apart the night before and he will not see me in my wedding gown until I am walking down the aisle. There is something to be said about those church doors opening and FI seeing me for the first time standing there in my dress!
  • We're skipping the "who gives this woman"---doing a "family blessing" instead. MOB walking her down the aisle (that's me!). Changing dad/daughter dance to grandpa/daughter dance because.....also skipping dad coming to wedding because I'm walking her down the aisle. Only advice I have here.....if the tradition appeals to you or has meaning for you, keep it. If not, toss it.
  • We are skipping the bouquet toss and the garter toss.  I am not even wearing or buying a garter.  Instead, we are doing an anniversary dance and the oldest married couple will be given the "toss" bouquet.  At the time we are married, the oldest couple will be my grandparents, married 59 and a half years.
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  • Well, lets see -- --My brother is giving me away instead of my dad. -- not getting married in a church for either of our religions, we made up our own ceremony and picked vows, etc that fit our personalities and christian/secular beliefs. --We are doing Garter/bouquet. --Don't really know if we will do the dance thing or not....(want to, but may be too expensive!!) --He will probably see me before the ceremony in my dress (for pics), but not before that day. --Haven't decided about the "objection" statement, or the "who gives this bride" (I'm a mother of two kids....not really anyone to give me permission :) except the kids!!!) --doing the toast, with sparkling grape juice -- in a park where alcohol is not allowed! I'm sure there is other stuff, but I can't think of it right now. We are keeping quite a few traditional things, but also changing it up a bit. We both have deep traditional roots, but also want everything to be perfect for "us" on our special day!!
  • We are skipping bouquet and garter tosses and the dollar dance (very popular in our area). We are doing the father/daughter and mother /son dance. We are also doing the bridal party dance but allowing our WP to dance with their spouses instead of the other members of the WP. The ceremony itself will be traditional.
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  • -the "no seeing the bride before the wedding" crap.  did all our pics before hand, was sooo much better. -bouquet/garter toss -cake, including cutting/feeding each other.  we did serve a cake, but it wasnt displayed-dancing of any kind-limo-programs, favors, church decor (was gorgeous enough, saw no need for pew decor)i would not change a thing about our day.
  • I have to be honest, this entire thread is making me sad. I know traditions are silly, but I think they may endure because they can be very fun. I for one, LOVE weddings, and enjoy watching the first dances (especially the mothers face during the father daughter dance), always find that the bouquet and garter toss bring a giggle to the room, and very much wish my father were alive to walk me down the aisle. The only thing I shirked was the waiting till the ceremony to see each other. I can picture my guy staring at me and making me giggle and our whole ceremony being me trying to hold back tears or laughter. Better to have that moment before hand, get the pics I want, and honestly be able to say and mean my vows.
  • oh, yeah, since we saw each other before anyway, we also decided to walk down the aisle together.  i did not like the concept of being given away or even "escorted".  i figured, we made a joint decision to get married, let's jointly walk to the altar together.  we had so much fun!  the pics of us walking in show us smiling and saying  hi to people, rather than that tunnel vision the bride gets wehn she just stares and gets weepy at her FI waiting for her.  Barf!
  • We will skip the garter/bouquet toss and the spotlight dances. I don't feel bad about not doing them.
  • We are skipping the bouquet toss and spotlight dances. I don't care for them at other people's weddings so I don't thinkI'll miss them at mine.
  • -We are skipping the garter toss/bouquet toss. Instead we are doing an Anniversary dance to Grow Old With You by Adam Sandler -We are keeping the father/daughter dance mother/son dance and first dance.- We are not doing a wedding party dance or a dollar dance (even though our venue completely tried to bulldog me into it)- We are not spending the night before the ceremony together if only because my BMs got us the COOLEST hotel room in the area to stay at the night before and kinda chill/celebrate. - Dad is giving me away, however after reading a PP I am kinda falling for the idea of him and I walking down together if it doesnt hurt my dads feelings.
  • We are skipping the bouquet toss and the garter toss. I think those things are stupid and degrading. I really don't want to look like a fool on my wedding day and make my close girl friends and relatives fight for a crappy flower arrangement. Those things together make me want to vomit.
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  • skipping bouquet & garter toss mom and dad are both walking me down the aisle i do think it would be easier to do pics before the ceremony, but FI instists on not seeing me that day before I walk down the aisle - he does have a a strong romantic/traditional side! hopefully our timing is good and we'll get to take some sunset pics :) having so much trouble figuring out what song to dance to w/ dad, I may end up skipping that father/daughter dance :(
  • 2DBride,   Nevermind, I went to your website and found the source. Thank you!
  • wedding's not til april - but we both heartily agreed to skip the bouquet and garter toss. probably will skip "does anyone object" too - that's just archaic.
  • "However, I don't think it's important to include something in my wedding if it doesn't mean anything special to me or my FI. " you said it!
  • For being a completely non-traditional couple, we are have a super traditional wedding but the decorations are not traditional.  We are staying apart the night before the wedding.  (We were actually not even going to live together until after the wedding, but we just bought a house with only two months left to go and were too excited to wait to live in it!)  We are seeing each other before the ceremony because we want outdoor pics and we are getting married the weekend after the time change.  We are not doing a dollar dance or any of that stuff because I think it's tacky to ask people to shell out more money than they already are.  We are using non-traditional music for our ceremony.
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  • -skipping the garter toss-skipping the limo-changing "who gives this woman..." to "who brings this woman..." & also scrapping the question about who objects.I also wanted to skip a cake (since neither FI or I care for it) but it was included in the package we decided on so we hope our guests like it more than we do :)
  • I guess I thought I'd feel bad if we skipped anything, but you ladies are right-- if it isn't meaningful to us, why bother? So I think we're going to skip the dollar dance, and also skipping the church decorations is a great idea! The church is pretty all by itself, why bother spending time decorating so much for a short amount of time, and then transporting the flowers, etc. over to the reception. Also, I wanted us to cut the cake together, but not feed each other as well. Good ideas, and some of them might save $$$ too! :)
  • We're skipping the cake...altogether and having a dessert bar.
  • We are in the VERY early stages of planning (haven't set a date, still haven't told anyone that we're engaged, etc.), but here's what I'll know we'll skip for sure:- Church/religious ceremony- Bouquet/garter toss- Mother/son dance (may skip father/daughter too, not sure how my dad will feel about it)- Bridal party dance, dollar dance, or any other kind of organized dance besides our first dance togetherI'm sure more will come along as we get into the real planning.  Our wedding is just going to be really, really, really simple and laid back.  
  • I skipped on all the traditions with my first wedding, no garter, veil, bouquet toss, etc.... This time im going very traditional. The only thing that is probably varying from tradition is the fact that my 11 year old son will give me away instead of my dad.
  • I cannot imagine skipping something, I mean I respect everyone choosing to do this, but I have always dreamed of having a big traditional wedding and so that is what will happen.
  • We're skipping..... Church decor except maybe candlesLimo (old fashions signs and streamers on vehicle will be made by my grandchildren)Alcohol at receptionGarter tossand maybe much more!!!
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